Kimchi Lunchbox

My partner and I came here because of what seemed like a fantastic Groupon deal — all you can eat Korean BBQ for 2 for $ 30. When I purchased the Groupon, I thought it was one of those grill-​your-​own type BBQ places — turns out there’s a special Groupon menu with only 6 options and everything is already prepared, so they just bring it out as soon as you place the order at the counter. (Definitely wasn’t BBQ, it was more like reheated stir fry.) You’re also only allowed 1 plate per person at a time and you have to finish the entire plate or you’ll be charged an extra $ 5. Lame.
The food itself was meh. The beef and chicken were bland, the spicy beef was basically inedible, and the spicy pork was… alright. The side dishes were all extra so we didn’t bother ordering any. The service is… non-​existent. It’s basically a glorified cafeteria — you have to pick up your own cutlery even. At least the staff who work there seemed friendly enough.
Pretty disappointing experience overall, and I’m kind of annoyed with Groupon for their misleading advertising of this particular deal. Not cool, Groupon. Not cool.

This has been a favorite of mine for a few years now. Although I have to admit it is all because of one dish. The raw salmon on rice with hot chilli sauce.
Overall the place is clean and the service efficient and friendly.
It doesn’t cater for payment by card though — cash only.

Unfortunately, the satirical theme Kimchi Lunchbox had didn’t really cut it for me.
Ambiance: A nice clean restaurant with plentiful seating. They have 2 rooms, and the second larger room closes later in the evening.
Customer Service: A lot of it is self-​service (getting your own utensils, water, you even pay at the front and it’s cash only), but the people are really friendly — hence why I want them to succeed. After greeting the little old man at the cash register with a polite «Ahnyong!», he immediately smiled and happily took my order. He was also happy to direct me to the nearest ATM and saved my order while we took money out.
Food: Where Kimchi Lunchbox unfortunately slips for me. What we ordered:
~ Miso Soup
~ Tofu Twigim
~ Kimchi & Pork Noodle Soup
~ Vegetarian Japchae
Miso Soup: First time I’ve ever experienced Miso Soup that came with mushrooms, but that’s alright. It didn’t have the light refreshing taste I enjoyed from Miso, but not awful either.
Tofu Twigim: I haven’t actually tried this dish since my friend ordered it.
Kimchi & Pork Noodle Soup: I didn’t particularly enjoy this dish. It tasted really sloppily done with no real flavour to it besides a whole lot of capsicum.
Vegetarian Japchae: I really enjoyed this dish. It had just the right amount of flavour, etc. However, we found that there were tiny shreds of meat and my friend was vegetarian. They should reaaally be careful with that.
—
Although I found the theme really clever and avant-​garde, the food just didn’t quite match up with their impressive wits.

Kimchi Lunch Box is a fantastic themed restaurant located on Glenferrie road. Unlike the quotidien cabaret or nautical themed restaurants, Kimchi Lunch Box makes an innovative, tongue-​in-​cheek attempt at injecting humour into your dining experience.
From the lack of EFTPOS facilities, to the incomprehensible staff members convivial attempts at pidgin english, and the wobbly tables, it becomes clear that the theme Kimchi Lunch Box has selected is a complex, multi-​layered satire of a bad restaurant.
Upon entering the establishment we were immediately struck by the immersive caricature and within no time began to fall into our roles as indignant, unhappy customers.
After sitting for some time discussing the intricacies of how Swift (or a masochist) would have enjoyed such a dining experience we realised that there was, in fact, no table service and cutlery must be obtained by ones self from a tub taken directly from the dishwasher, next to the cash register. After selecting the least grubby silverware (a fun challenge!) we retired to our table, which seemed to have the same level of stability as the West Bank barrier.
As we perused the vougishly tattered-​and-​falling-​apart menus we were serenaded by the mellifluous tones of passing trams and rather loud shouting in the kitchen. We selected our meals and made our way to the counter to order, only to be pleasantly surprised by the counter staff with a fun lesson on ESL conjugation. It seems that Kimchi Lunch Box not only offers butchered and diced meals, but English sentences as well.
With the use of some applied linguistics we discovered to our disappointment that the causa prima of our jaunt to Kimchi Lunch Box, a cold noodle dish, was unavailable– so we instead opted for a desultory rice plate dish and sweet potato noodles.
When the meals arrived and were derisively thrown onto the table before us the fantasy was complete. Keeping with the theme, the food was inoffensive, unadventurous and stodgy. Price-​wise the meal was fantastic as my girlfriend paid for the meal, although it could have been better as I feel I deserved fiscal recompense for enduring such service.
Kimchi Lunch Box is the ultimate in culinary self-​flagellation and a prime example of Melbourne’s avant-​garde dining scene. I highly recommend a visit.

Korean food is my second favourite Asian cuisine. The reason for this high honour is due to the very restaurant introducing me to the flavours of Korea. The restaurant is always busy with students from Swinburne University and some locals who know a good thing when they find it.
My favourite dishes are the Beef Bulgogi and the Japchae. If I haven’t ordered one then it’s the other, so full of flavour that you wish you could be eating this every day. The sweet potato noodles have such a unique texture that I love so much, you have to try them.