University of Melbourne

University of Melbourne is a nice place for a tourist to visit. The campus has many nice, older university buildings on a beatiful campus. It is an easy walk from Queen Victoria Market/​Elizabeth Street area in the Central Business District. We stumbled onto it when we took breakfast at Seven Seeds at 114 Berkeley Street.
The coop bookstore is located inside the Main Gates off of Grattan Street (Gate 10). The bookstore is next/​inside of Bailleau Library next to the South Lawn. The best way to get there once through the gate on Grattan Street is to turn left before going up the stairs to South Lawn. (I am grateful as a tourist for the directions provided by my waitress as Seven Seeds). Cool university gear there.
Overall, I was only on campus 20 minutes but really enjoyed the architecture.

There’s a plaque on one of the older buildings at University stating: «On this site, on 21^st April 1856, workers on this site downed tools and marched to parliament, marking the start of the eight hour movement»
Something along those lines, anyway. I forget the exact wording. And that, to me, is Melbourne University in a nutshell. They’re a venerable institution, with a long history and a beautiful campus.
They also don’t quite get it. They don’t get that being on the wrong end of the eight hour movement isn’t exactly something to be proud of. They’re ensconced in privilege and, nowadays, in visions of profit as well. They’ve been doing thinks like using their position to try and subvert the ability of students to finish their studies under the partially subsidised HECS system, and there’s few amenities available on the campus which aren’t owned by large corporations.
Still, a degree from Melbourne Uni is probably worth more than most other places in Australia, and they do have some amazing academics on staff.

Melbourne University is a great school, but I’m finding uni pretty dull at the moment. While cooped up inside in the midst of essay hell, I’ve been fantasising about the university’s South Lawn in the summertime. There’s nothing better. Gone are the drab greys, carpeted floors and dingy food court meals of winter. No more studying in the dank library, no more rushing indoors to escape the chilled air and shielding your already soaking books form the rain. Instead, the once gloomy university springs to life. The sun is shining and feet are bare. Navigate your way around the «outrageous» goon-​drinking science students and the intertwined couples for your own patch of grass. Eat your lunch outside, do your reading in the sunshine, skip class and doze on the lawn. This is uni at its best: no class, no homework. Just forget it all exists and soak up the sun.

This will be a very controversial review.
But I absolutely despise University of Melbourne.
BIOLOGY COURSE:
I almost feel insulted by how Melbourne Uni treats me as if I’m a little kid. Honestly, attending Melbourne Uni reminds of high school. No wait. worse. Middle School. They literally hold your hand and bottlefeed you the answers.
Let’s take a look at the lab system.
There are 2 major important parts of having labs in Biology:
1) For students to have a hands on practical experience outside of a textbook. Melbourne Uni does this fine — the lab facilities look great as well and truth be told I was really excited. I get a female boner from seeing a great looking lab.
2) TO LEARN TO WRITE LAB REPORTS. The purpose of a lab report is to get students to learn how to write one — meaning a highly detailed paper on what you did during the lab, how it impacts the hypothesis and/​or theory of what you are doing, everything. Truth be told every science student will tell you that writing lab reports are a pain in the ass, but it’s important. Real-​life lab reports go into huge detail so anyone with the materials will be able to replicate the lab and produce the same results. How do Melbourne Uni labs work? They print out all pre-​written lab reports and all the students have to do is fill in the blanks — like a 5^th grade science work sheet. «Fill in your results everyone that you got from this lab!» How the hell does this prepare any students for REAL LIFE lab reports at all?
WEBSITE SETUP:
For a «world-​class» university, Melbourne Uni’s website is really a steaming pile of horse shit. Their portal system is in dire need of cleaning up and it often goes down as well. Prepare to have to call their student service help line if you need to get anything done! This happened to me twice.
CLASSES:
What a god-​awful system of picking your classes and timetable. At my home university as well as all the other universities my friends have attended under the UC System, it is RARE that someone has a timetable clash. At Melbourne University, you’re in fucking LUCK if at first try, there is no clash. I actually had to pick classes that I did not want to avoid clashes.
STUDENTS:
Granted, this is a blanket statement. I recognise that a lot of Melbourne Uni students are very nice and alright, but my god does the ego go to a lot of people’s heads for attending «the best university in Australia». What a fucking feat! BEST UNIVERSITY IN AUSTRALIA GUYS HURR DURR. But honestly, I’ve met a LOT of students where their ego is overly inflated. You go to MIT? Okay, you are actually tough shit. You go to Melbourne Uni? You’re a privileged kid who did alright in high school and was able to afford it.
The amount of pretentious air I’ve heard laced onto «I go to Melbbbbourrne Unniiii» is absolutely incredible. Especially the science students — where their science courses are not difficult and the equivalent of 5^th grade worksheets.
To be fair to Melbourne Uni, the architecture is cool and its also in a convenient location right next to the CBD, but I didn’t feel like I learned anything there. Going into STEM is supposed to keep you up late at night pulling your hair out and studying regardless of whether or not you have a social life to balance it out. Going into STEM in Melbourne Uni feels like a walk in the park.
If you want an easy degree from «the best uni in Australia», go for it. If you want a challenge and actually learn shit, I recommend leaving the country.