Three Witches & A Broomstick

Cute name for a company, and that is about it.
I don’t dole out the «one star of death» unless I have been horribly wronged and done some injustice as a consumer… But this my fellow Unilocalers, takes the cake for a terrible experience.
I purchased a Deal Find voucher for 3 witches back at the beginning of FEBRUARY but was informed that I could not redeem the voucher until after February 22^nd… Ok, fine. You’ve got other clients and obligations, fair enough.
So, when I decided to give my mom a break and have her house cleaned as a surprise, I quickly learned of my mistake by pre-​purchasing services from this «company».
After calling the owner (Susan) almost daily, I finally received a snotty voicemail a week and a half later saying that I must be dialing the wrong number because she answers all her messages daily and my attitude was not appreciated. I will note, in each of my voicemails to Susan, I was polite and courteous. For all I knew, she was just super busy. Long story short, getting this lady on the phone is next to impossible, and she had the audacity to blame a potential client for her poor time management/​booking inefficiencies? Wow I sure know how to pick ‘em…
Finally after the booking fiasco, I had booked for 2 cleaners to come to my 3 bed, 1.5 bath townhouse. From my discussions with Susan, I was under the impression that she herself would be out on this call — as she claims to see «as many clients a day as possible». BS! She sent a younger couple who were very nice, but extremely and painfully obviously inexperienced. They came ill prepared to the max, I’m talking no vacuum, no towels/​paper towel, NOTHING! Weren’t all supplies supposed to be included in this? Guess not! To make things worse, they both took multiple smoke breaks during my 3.5 hour service call… Right outside the front door… Sigh.
They spent over two hours on the bathrooms alone… I knew this had to be a bad sign. I asked what I could do to help them speed up the process so they could continue on with their day, their response was that they were trying to clean all the hair up from the washrooms… I know living with two other females may cause some drainage buildup, but 2 hours? I called to follow up with Susan, she said she would follow up right away with her staff and get back to me. Yeah, right. I gave her a week and ended up having to call her back (yet again). She made excuse after excuse about everything and said that because I am purchasing a coupon deal that I should be glad she was even able schedule my appointment. Susan also went on to say how she was losing full paying customers to service me… Basically she told me I was expecting too much, and that no cleaning service could meet my «outlandish» demands.
I could go into all sorts of gnarly details about everything that was left dirty and what a horrible time it was, but to sum it up, I should have just flushed all my money down the toilet. The half-​cleaned toilet that is.