Eaton Centre Skybridge

There is now a leak in the sky bridge, thus it is only doing it’s job of keeping you safe from the elements if you stick to the west side of the bridge.
Our city is falling through the crack (s).

As far as Toronto-​area skybridges go, this is among the best.

Uh… Why is this here?
This is an elevated bridge which joins the Eaton Centre to The Bay building. Yet, why are there reviews of this?
I guess because it serves a purpose… yes, it helps people not get killed by the murdering traffic below… although I really think the number of pedestrians suffering horrible accidents due to the constant pileup carmageddons a few feet beneath the crosser to be rather negligible.
I suspect the skybridge was built back in an era when crossing intersections at street level was considered passé. Or the people who built it had a pathological fear of the combustion engine, guess I will never know and no, I won’t be looking this up.
Personally I think it was built when architects had a love affair of what the future had in store and this was their way of being ‘modern.’ Tailfins on cars, anyone?
Today however, this pathway is barely used since most shoppers hardly traffic this particular area of either building. I think there is a MacDonald’s on The Eaton’s side and the overpriced male clothing section on The Bay’s side. Riveting.
However since it is there, you might as well want to take a look at it and check the Queen St. view. Hey, maybe one day it might save your life from the upcoming carmageddon.
But I doubt it.
Also, this is my 151^th review. Yay.

Sometimes I wonder what possesses people to review things on Unilocal.
The Eaton Centre Skybridge is neither a good nor a service.
It promotes the flow of traffic, and commerce, yet no money changes hands here unless some friendly street musician or unfriendly homeless dude sits soliciting quarters along the span.
Arguably, it is not even a place in and of itself; it is, as Faulkner would say, a space to fill a lack.
A River Styx between the Bay and the posthumously-​named Eaton Centre.
A rainbow bridge to shopping Asgaard.
A purgatory where shoppers await redemption by redeeming their scratch and save tickets.
A retail Gehonim, where one seeks the ritual purification of the perfume-​spritzing salesladies.
It smells of pee and disappointment.
In summer and winter, it’s unbearably hot.
So why review it?
Because it’s 3:30 PM on Friday, and it just popped up on my feed.

This review is only being written because it exists.
Its a great connection between the mess of Eaton Centre and the Bay, all without putting my coat on, or diving into the dirtyness of Queen Street, being bombarded by bums or the hotdog vendor.
However, going this route you don’t get to appreciate the lovely window decorations.
But the thing needs to be updated. The funny circle dotted floors and the fogged up glass windows is so something of 1980. And god forbid you come here on a hot summer’s day — it’s a sauna in here!
Update please!

Why do I love skybridges so? Maybe it’s being raised on a diet of George Jetson cartoons. Maybe it’s the influence of old movies like Things To Come/​Metropolis where a city wasn’t truly a futuristic city if it didn’t have skybridges hither and dither.
A skybridge just seems so efficient, a little extravagant to build initially, but it takes you above the din of the street. Raises you above the pedestrian.
The Eaton Centre skybridge between the Eaton Centre and The Bay department store is probably the skybridge Torontonians are most familiar with.
End points
— — — — —
The portal on the north side of the bridge brings one into the Eaton Centre’s third floor. Treasures that await: a Mcdonald’s, a Second Cup with limited seating, and a Grande & Toy. Those who might walk more boldly and with purpose into the mall proper will find an Apple store and a Lululemon[1].
The portal on the south side brings one into The Bay (formerly Simpsons). Oddly one is brought into the second floor of The Bay. I’m not sure how the Eaton Centre’s designers managed to so efficiently get three floors in a vertical space occupied by two floors of The Bay but something has never sat right with me about this arrangement and I prefer to believe magic was involved. Or the whole retail strip was built on an Indian burial ground. Don’t let this confuse you and make you go rushing back into the skybridge. Please. Explore the enticing world the southern portal has revealed: Olympic branded togs, shoes, and men’s designer wear.
The Journey
— — — — — -
The skybridge itself is only as wide as the four lanes of Queen street below. The floor is solid and the roof of the bridge is arched glass faintly reminiscent of the arched ceiling of the Eaton Centre itself. It should take you no more than a minute to cross, unless you stop to admire the view, listen to an ever present busker playing soothing music to calm shoppers in this small cusp between two retailing giants, or some fucking idiot in front of you can’t figure out how to open a fucking door. Seriously, is it so fucking hard to grasp you exit using the doors on the right and you enter using doors on the left? I could seriously strangle these people. Seriously.
The View
— — — —
The western exposure offered by this skybridge… nay this sky cathedral is probably the most majestic. One can see old city hall, the classic Canada Life building beaming weather information no one can ever understand, and someone who has wrapped himself in bedsheets and calls himself «Kong». Kong is ostensibly a prophet anointed by Jesus Christ himself during Christ’s third coming to warn people with pocket change about the dangers of greed and frost bite.
The eastern exposure gives you a glimpse of the west bound street car you’re never going to be able to catch at this point and St Michael’s Hospital which I gather is a hospital.
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[1] Pronounced Lulu Lemon, not Lulu Le Mon. You heard it from me first and didn’t have someone bark at you you were pronouncing it wrong.