Dibs

a lampshade, a one wheeled stroller, a bookcase with no shelves, a dirty folding chair, a 2×4, a bucket, a broken oscillating fan and an ironing board walk into a bar and the bartender says, «oh, it must be summer.»
because, of course, in winter, said items live in the street, guarding precious parking spots that you don’t fucking dare take or else my polish neighbors will realistically, probably kill you.
chicago’s finest cultural institution. 5 stars.

As it is a tradition in the Greater Chicagoland Area; It has never benefitted me in the same way that many Unilocalers seem to have had their lives saved by them and this may go back to similar playground psychological issues and or bad luck, yet I am not a fan of dibs nor do I applaud those who call them.
This tradition should only be practiced in beaches where ample sand areas are available for towels, chairs and milk crates handed down through generations may be sprinkled to collect a reasonable amount of area for lounging. Pool hogs who steal irrational amounts of beach chairs at pools are also looked down upon, and are quite probably winter dibbers or the parents or children of such people.

Thanks to you, I now own a microwave, 4 chairs, 1 iron board, one of those old lady shopping cart AND a bicycle.

For those of you that do not own a car or are not born and bred in the Chicago area you don’t understand dibs. For the rest of us dibs is our reward for working hard and shoveling out our own car from a pile of snow. Why should I let some schmuck take away my spot I worked 2 hours to dig out? People talk that its a «public safety issue». How exactly does a broken down chair or sink in a shoveled out spot a «public safety issue»? Dangerous is getting almost run over by bicyclist or run down by some yuppie mom and her 500 dollar baby carriage.
Dibs are a Chicago tradition and they are hear to stay so DEAL with it or move back to where you came from yo.

For my 400^th review, I’ve got a major announcement.
My name is Michael G. and I’d like to declare my candidacy for the position of 35^th Ward Alderman! Now sure, the last election was just three days ago. But the people of Logan Square (and parts of Avondale and Humboldt Park) need time to gain name recognition, right? And, sure I think the current Alderman, Rey Colon, is a mother fucking pimp! I mean, the dude DJed his own campaign fund raiser. How awesome is that?
Still, there is still a scourge upon Chicago, Unilocalers and Unilocalettes. And it’s one that the current City Council (Rey included) seems too intimated to address. That scourge is four simple letters: D-​I-​B-​S!
Yes, the trash (the chairs, not the people — don’t want to alienate any potential voters out there) that lines our streets each time there’s enough snow in the city to building a slushman! When people feel it is their right to privatize the public thoroughfare (who do they think they are? Mayor Daley?) for putting in the same amount of labor while shoveling their cars out as everyone else.
Now, thankfully, most people realize that we live in a community, a neighborhood, that we’re a loving brotherhood who has to plow through the (figurative and literal) shit together. Most people realize that the person who is pulling into «their» shoveled space (if they didn’t steal a parking cone to mark it anyway) probably shoveled a space out somewhere else in our fair city. But still this anti-​community, eating babies issue exists.
Now call me a socialist! Call me lazy! Call me petty! Call me anal. Just don’t forget to call me the next day. But, *coughs* Unilocalers and Unilocalettes, this is a public safety issue. Old ladies fist fighting over parking spaces needs to be saved for Woodfield Mall at Christmas! Or pay-​per-​view events. ‘Cause who doesn’t want to see that spectacle? I mean, when it’s not over dibs at least.
Now it may be mentioned against me by my opponents that I’m moving to the Washington D.C. area in April (hint: that was the *real* major announcement). But, I always intend to move back to Chicago. Maybe. Hey, if that logic worked for Rahm Emanuel, it should work for me too, right?
Anyhow, my name is Michael G. and I’m here to recruit you (yes, I stole that from Milk, but I’ve got over three years to decide on a real slogan, right?)! Vote early, vote often!

After parking on a small, non-​metered street for 10 years, I feel Dibs are OK for 1 – 2 days after shoveling and that’s it (I never did it myself). After that, you are just being selfish and I’ll come take your crappy chairs and put them in my basement for party seating, or take your boards/​furniture and make some artwork out of them since they are legally trash once you put them on the street (thanks in advance!).
And if it took you 2 – 4 hours to shovel your car out, then you don’t know how to shovel or you are really slow — even for the 2011 blizzard.
I can’t believe people still have Dibs stuff out now, over a week after the blizzard. Lame.

Disgusting. Since you now have the right to reserve public property, maybe you should start paying a portion of my taxes. I was under the impression that we all paid for the same city streets and therefore had free reign but now that we have «reserved parking», I would like to deduct my monthly contribution. If you want a private spot, rent one. The city of Chicago is not a private parking garage.

Two words:
Trashy
(and)
Idiotic
Trashy: If you wanna have a food stamp barbecue, just put up a sign, no need to alert the world to your Hickster Shitsville mentality by throwing the contents of your attic on the street in hopes of saving ‘your’ spot which is actually public property.
You probably have a small TV that works on top of a large TV that doesn’t work inside your rat trap apartment. Amirite?
Idiotic: What a bunch of whiners. «OO-​EEE, it took me three hours to shovel that spot.» Yea… so you could drive your car. Not so you could park it. Grow up. We had «dibs» in elementary school — for the best seat on the bus or the best desk near the window. When we were KIDS.
Anyhow, have fun with your baby games. I’ll park where I want. Come near my car and the least of your worries will be «wheremagunna park muh shitbox?»

You know the Blizzard of 2011, Snowpocalypse, requires an update on the concept of dibs. So, the city proper of Chicago received approximately 19.5 inches of snow.
People still need to park their cars somewhere so they park on the street. Easy peasy, right? The problem occurs when the snow plows come by to plow the street, pushing the snow against cars that are parked on the street.
So, now you come out in the morning after the blizzard of the century only to find that the snow that was on the street is now smashed into the side of your car. And you can only see the top of your car. Not even the windows are visible. Yes, that is your car, you think. You did park it there, right? Yes, yes you did… the car is buried in a grave of snow.
Shit. is all you keep saying to yourself. But, you HAVE to dig out your car. Because the melting fairy is not coming to Chicago in February and just melt off all the snow. And you also don’t have a big hair dryer to melt it all off… that would be a cool thing though, right?
Anyway, you spend 2 – 4 hours digging out your car. You put some of the snow in the street and some of it on the sidewalk. Then you miraculously get your car out of its’ snow grave. But wait, you just spent 4 hours digging out your car. And the next person that pulls up in the next 3 minutes is going to park in that spot. Why? Because all of the other spots on the street are filled with cars still buried in their graves.
Doesn’t sound fair right? RIGHT. Enter the concept of ‘Dibs’…You put a useless object that you don’t mind losing in the space you just spent 4 hours digging out in the hopes that you MIGHT be able to park in the place you just spent 4 hours digging out.
Seems fair to me. Don’t park in my space unless you like slashed tires and broken windows and maybe even a car filled with dirty snow.

I realize this review comes extra early this year, but considering Christmas advertising starts earlier and earlier every year– I figure now is as good of a time as any to get my complaining out of the way.
One of the biggest reasons why I got rid of my car is dealing with people who litter up our streets with broken recliners and sand-​filled painting buckets. Why on earth would anyone put their garbage on the street? Because they are damn lazy.
No other explanation for it. It is prime example of one of the seven deadly sins: SLOTH.
Digging ones car in or out of a parking slot is probably about the only form of exercise many Chicagoans get through the winter. By the looks of our ever-​expanding belt lines, I think we could use a bit of movement other than the 12 oz. curls of Hamm’s we do on Sunday afternoon when our less-​than-​mediocre football team goes out and embarrasses themselves.
Keep the lawn chairs in the garage, people. They are meant to be sat in when the weather is nice.

Yea to DIBS!!! Unfortunately, people like Katy W. Will have to learn the hard way about DIBS. :(

Ah… Chicago.
Deep dish pizza.
The lakefront.
Dibs.
Even though I now live in the ‘burbs with a garage and long driveway, every once in a while I still feel the urge to plop a few buckets and plastic lawn chairs down after my husband finishes shoveling. He doesn’t even roll his eyes any more, just picks them up and puts them back in the garage.
You can take the girl out of the city…

Public street parking works in population dense areas because it is very rare that people all need a spot at the same time (ie, more cars that available spots). Blocking off spots that aren’t currently in use makes parking a pain in the ass for whoever usually uses that spot while spot-​blocker is off at work.
If you want to shovel out a spot so you can get out of it, good for you. If you think all of the sudden that you’ve paid your dues and now have a de facto private spot, f you. Pony up for a paid space or garage.
Boo to dibs.

It’s the Chicago way. If you slaved over it, it’s belongs to you. But yeah, you can’t find a cleared spot and claim it. That’s the way of the doofus.

DIBS are great– my father almost got into a fist fight in Christmas eve with someone that tried moving his little tykes car parking saver. He was out the front door and standing in the guys way from parking before the dude could get back in his car and park. Its a truly Chicagoan thing and the fact the Daley backs it up makes it all the more entertaining. I think I’m going to start an expansion review of the rude ass people that have not learned the meaning of parking dibs and acceptable punishments for them!

It’s just the Chicago way!
Is it right? Not necessarily. Is it wrong? Not necessarily.
It’s just some unwritten rule.
Stop being an ass and dig your own spot!

I’ve got a great collection of chairs, refrigerator boxes and milk crates going. Thanks, Chicagoans!
Yes, I shovel out my own spot on the street, thank you very much. And being from Wisconsin, I’m a great shoveler too!