Chase Bank

walked in the other day to get some money out of the machine. there was a man sleeping on the desk that you usually write on. walked in and spoke to a woman about getting rid of him. i felt unsafe with him there. she said yes we have a problem with him. i said did you call the police, yes we do but they chase him and he comes right back. hello arrest him, the bank is private property. unlike the library one block over where all the homelesss seem to congragate. cursing and drinking and stinking up the place.

Why did this branch call me today at 9:00 AM to tell me they want a «Relationship» with me? Was that creepy or what? I asked him if there was anything wrong? He just asserted that Chase wants a «relationship» with me.
I was there the other day and I needed a replacement ATM card and all the Spanish speaking customer service people were engaged in heavy conversation with customers while the line of people needing help was getting bigger. (By the way, I’m half Colombian). I think I had to wait an hour for Chase to have relations.
This guy was given the task of calling customers and telling them that Chase wants a relationship with them. I wonder who is waiting on lines while he is making these calls.
Who had this genius idea to call random customers to say this? What was their target endgame? Did they think that I would deposit more money in their accounts for them to hold?
That was creepy.

When my mattress gets too lumpy I bring my money here and people who look miserable take it and put it under the mattresses in the vault. When I need it back I come here and tell a machine to gimme gimme gimme and it spits it out. And that’s about it all I need it for.

Si, yo puedo hablar espanol.
That’s about the only thing going for Chase. This branch definitely caters to Spanish speakers, but that’s the end of the good things.
How I hate corporate… let me count the ways. In any case, I came in to close an account and it felt so good to sever the toxic relationship.
I mean they kept charging some stupid monthly fee that I just got sick of them and just walked out on the relationship.
The break-​up is for good and good riddance!

Not even having a business account and IRA at this branch helped me get better service.
I had some clients who paid cash and when the money was brought for deposit here, several tellers viewed the hundred dollar bill as if it was counterfeit. The manager was even called who frowned the whole time and eventually declared the bill to be something that will be sent to the U.S. Treasury. They made me sign a ton of documents, deducted the amount from the account and it would just have made it less unpleasant if they were nice about it. Months later, they credited the amount back to the account because they made a mistake. It was after all, a genuine US minted hundred dollar bill. No apologies, no nothing.
Sure, now they have chairs at the lobby, a pot of coffee and someone actually approaches you to ask if you’ve been helped. And for those important documents and valuable items that you have, they do have safe deposit boxes at less than a hundred dollars a year. They still make you pay for keeping your money as the practice of free checking account is no longer existent. Maybe there’s hope for this branch. Then again, maybe not.

This is a bank.
This is one of my banks.
They hold about 42% of my money.
Sometimes they tell me about said money.
Sometimes it’s good things and sometimes it’s not so good things.
Sometimes they automatically give my money to people.
Sometimes I walk in and tap tap tap on their little screen and then get to hold my money.
Then somehow I lose my money.
and I start the cycle again…