Lazos Pool Parlor

I was lucky enough to spend the Christmas weekend in Bakersfield with my boyfriend and his family this year.
The train ride was long and the weather was cold but nothing could compare to the time we had at Lazos. It was the eve of Christmas eve and after seeing an Elton John cover band and waiting 15 minutes for a drink at Narducci’s my boyfriend and I decided to go to Lazos.
Neither of us had been there before but we remembered our friends talking about going to the place earlier in the night (to our knowledge they were being serious but upon further investigation we realized they were just kidding around). We were already in the wrong side of town and when we approached the plain square one tiny windowed building we realized we were making a complete mistake. We tried peeking in the window but the metal shutters were closed so all we could see was the bright lights inside. After convincing ourselves that we weren’t little girls we walked in.
It was a no frills kinda place. Two out of the eight or so pool tables were occupied with the type of guys that would hang out with their buddies on the eve of Christmas eve because they had no families because they had just finished killing them. Granny’s probably tied to the radiator right this moment. Who’s going to feed her cats?
We sat down at the bar came to terms with our imminent death. At $ 2 dollars a beer we decided right then and there that if we were to get raped that night it wouldn’t be from alcohol prices. We were happy campers. We loosened up and I ordered a burrito and a bag of chips. The burrito was $ 1 and the chips were $.50. They’re prices were insanely cheap. After a few more beers we left to meet our friends back at the other bar. We made it out alive. Now I know how the guy that got away from Dahmer felt.
I loved the place but I couldn’t give it more than 3 stars because of the ladies room. It was through these metal gates and downstairs in the basement. There aren’t any locks on any of the doors and the stall was missing the door entirely. I expect not too many ladies come into the joint and make it out safely. But other than that the place is awesome. $ 2 beers, $ 1 burritos, seedy characters and asbestos. All winners in my book.