MTA B63 Bus

The B63 bus is perennially, inevitably, notoriously late. Year after year. It NEVER improves.
Its understandable as to why: it has to trundle down one of the murkiest, most-​ethnically-​dense, most-​unfamiliar-​with-​American-​ways, jaywalking, stroller-​pushing, not-​paying-​attention, thickly-​pedestrian routes in the entire city. That’s right! This bus goes through Brooklyn Chinatown — so it is easily one of the slowest buses in the entire city. Its not just ‘slow’ for Brooklyn. It is world-​class, blue-​ribbon, award-​winning slow!
But there’s more than just this to excuse (or condemn) this slow-​as-​molasses bus line. The drivers. Some of the worst in the system. Well, let’s say some of the most conscience-​less. They shirk their duty big-​time. Like, when they get to the end of the route – they are so harried, irate, jangled – that they deliberately park their bus for a while and take a break. I’ve seen ‘em do so!
Next. I am going to single out this bus for being one of the loudest buses in the entire city –again, because it is the most ethnically diverse and there is simply no sense of ‘quiet’ when riding with residents of Sunset Park down the sprawling mob-​scene which is 3 Avenue. They are in their own world, they have no idea that someone sitting next to them might not dig hearing their screaming cell conversation with their relatives.
But it’s more than that, and right here I am going to take time to harangue the MTA in general for their noise levels. These insane buses… why must they always drill the most-​childish, most-​obvious, most-​commonsense, most made-​for-​idiots loudspeaker bulletins into our ears… at the same rate and same frequency every 1.5 minutes?!
Regardless of the fact that New Yorkers (they actually live in New York) have already heard these recordings ten million times over. we know them by heart. We hear them in our dreams and nightmares. We have them spilling out of our skulls. Yet every few hundred feet, a loudspeaker blares some stupidity over our heads. Why?
I’ll tell you why. Because country bumpkins, hicks, rubes… clueless loincloth-​clad villagers from Botswana or Bangalore are always entering New York for the first time, and maybe some of them have never set foot on a bus before, so ‘safety announcements’ must be dispensed to them so as to prevent the city’s liability should they commit some bozo blunder and get themselves killed.
Example: you’re on a crowded B-​63 bus –people seated, people standing in the aisle – and the bus stops every few blocks to let people off. Stop, start… stop, start. Wait for light. Stop, start. Stop, start. Wait for light. Horns honking. Inching across town at a snail’s pace. Totally frustrating, uncomfortable, lurching and swaying. Kids won’t stay seated, babbling, shrieking, racing up and down the aisle.
So there’s this button or cord on a bus which you press or pull when your block is coming up –it lets the driver know you want to exit – but the thing is, every time – and I mean every single time – this cord is pulled, there’s an automated announcement it triggers.
«Please exit from the… REAR OF THE BUS!!!»
The same flat, evenly-​modulated tone-​of-​voice, 1000 x per day. Every few minutes as the cord is pulled, ‘she’ crackles into action. Its enough to drive men mad. Why are there berserk shooting sprees all over the nation? This kind of thing, is why.
Could this message ever be done away with? No, because sure enough – against all incredulity – there’s always a few nitwits who inevitably rise from their seat and try to make their way to the front of the vehicle to exit!!! Regardless of the warning they have just heard fifty times, to NOT do this very thing! Oh, my god. How is this even possible? No one knows.
This simply is: New Yorkers. This simply is: human nature. And you will see it on the B​-63​.in spades!

Yup. It can move like a turtle at times when going through the heart of Sunset park, but the BusTime convenience for arrival times, really makes this a winner. (why is BusTime not on every single route already?) Also, if you’re navigating between Park Slope and Bay Ridge (or other stops) you can grab the R train one way, and then use this line for a free transfer on your way back, cutting your total trip cost in half, if you can do it in under 2 hours.

Hmm. It serves its purpose (getting me from most parts of Park Slope to Atlantic-​Pacific where I can catch the B/​D) but can be horribly slow, especially on weekends where everyone is out. It didn’t help that BusTime does not necessarily tell you the number of minutes left until the bus appears at your stop, but only the distance it is from your stop. My naïve ass saw «oh, it’s 1.2 miles away. It should be here really quick.» So I waited. And waited. And waited. It was probably about a 15 minute wait — that’s about 0.1 miles per minute or 6 miles per hour for the bus, yikes.
So, still useful, but think carefully about the BusTime results and what they mean in light of dense NYC neighborhoods!

Ever since this bus line became part of the MTA Bustime pilot, I’ve really taken advantage of it. Bustime is pretty accurate, and I can leave my apartment and arrive at the stop just as the bus approaches. (Plus one star for having a stop right around the corner from me.) I love how this can take me up and down 5^th Ave and along Atlantic, all the way to the water. Tons of great businesses along this route, and most of the time the drivers are cordial. Perfect reasons to be a fan.

B63 my love for you is conflicted…
Going toward my job in Bay Ridge in the morning, the ride is long but I get a seat and the sites and sounds are fun.
The return trip is horrible. It is a chorus of chattering teens on cels, wailing babies, shuffling feet, and passengers hollering «move back» !! The most infuriating part of this is that there is usually an almost empty bus that almost always catches up to it. I have had more body parts shoved in my face on that bus than I care to think about after 5 pm.

From Bay Ridge you can take this via 5^th Ave all the way to Cobble Hill. It’s great!!! Since your riding along 5^th Ave you are going through all the shops in Park Slope. Getting there is really easy and fast. Instead of waiting for the train. You can also take this to Atlantic Center and even Trader Joe’s.
I like taking this all the way to Columbia St. There you can take the Ferry to Governors Island (Did I just tell a secret!?)