Pastries Not Potatoes

Does this place really even exist? I walked to the corner of Hollywood and Ridge and through the neighborhood and not (1) person who I ran into even heard of this place. Very shady — please post your «TRUE» address if you are a real company
:/​ (my digital angry face)

Melissa is incredibly nice! She really loves what she does!
If I was putting together an event (bridal shower, wedding, birthday, business-​related party, retirement, graduation, etc., etc., etc.) I would definitely hire Melissa and her company to create something extra special. She’s easy to talk to and SO creative. And of course, her pastries are SWEET! :)

Melissa makes the most moist delicious cupcakes I’ve ever eaten! She was very easy to work with, helpful and willing to customize to my liking. She gave great ideas as well. The flavors offered are absolutely amazing.
Melissa came to our home for the tasting and brought a very generous array of cupcakes. We were sold pretty instantly.
I highly recommend Pastries Not Potatoes for any event that calls for something sweet.
Thank you, Melissa for making our wedding so special. To this day, our guests still mention how amazing our cake was.

Melissa is an absolute sweetheart! I’ve ordered 2 birthday cakes from her in the last couple months and they both turned out beautifully! The first cake was one of her signatures… chunky monkey (chocolate, peanut butter, and banana)…delicious and surprisingly light. The other cake was a special request, flavored with southern comfort (my friend’s drink of choice) and chocolate buttercream. Both were personally delivered to my house beautifully decorated. She’s very accomodating too, despite her naturally busy schedule and increasing popularity. I’ll definitely be giving her a call for the next special occasion :)

Ok, I really wanted to love this place.
I began calling 2 weeks in advance of an event where I wanted to purchase a dozen assorted cupcakes. Actually, it was to begin a monthly order of a dozen cupcakes as a birthday gift. I left four (4) voice mails and one (1) email, and never, ever heard back from them. Ever!
Apparently, they don’t need my business. It’s a good thing because they will never get it now.

We had Melissa make Red Velvet, Black & White and Strawberry Shortcake cupcakes for my daughter’s birthday. They were fabulous! Since we live all the way out in the suburban wastelands, she also delivered to my husband’s office for him to bring them home.
We will be repeat customers for years!

Lovely. Delicious. Amazing.
I can’t say enough about Melissa Humphrey’s brainchild, Pastries Not Potatoes.
Honestly, I’ve tried everything from hands down the best brownies I’ve ever eaten in my life to cupcakes to cookies (hellooooo snickerdoodles) to chocolate covered cheesecake to shortbreads from Melissa’s arsenal of treats and I’ve never once been let down. She’s amazing.
Some people simply have a way with food. Melissa is one of them.

I ordered my boyfriend’s 30 birthday cake from Pastries not Potatoes. It was a great experience from start to finish. Melissa talked me through some different cake options and sizes until we decided on a double layer 9″ Chocolate Peanut butter Banana cake. (Yes, it was as amazing as it sounds!) I was a bit concerned that such a boutique bakery would be out of my price range, but was pleasantly surprised at the quote which included free delivery. The cake was both beautiful and tasty. Surprisingly, the leftovers kept quite well in the fridge for days afterward. With its professionally, baking talent and reasonable prices I will be remembering Pastries not Potatoes for future!
(And now I wish I had a slice of that cake right now!)

I have had my fair share of testing a number of Pastries not Potatoes birthday cake creations over the years, all of which have blown me away time and time again. Mel, the owner, has never been short on creativity, and there is such precision in her decorations. I mean, seriously, just take a look at the photos posted on here and you’ll start to fathom what PnP is all about.
Last year, Mel served me up a gorgeous — and unbelievably tasty (!) — red velvet cake for my birthday. It was so absolutely delectable that I wound up surprising my boyfriend with one of his own for his birthday this year. Oh yeah, and both came personally delivered to my front door, with the sweet smile that only a seductress of the sweets could put on ;)
Seriously, next time you need to satisfy your sweet tooth, just reach out Mel at PnP and let the woman take care of you. I assure you, you will not be disappointed!

So I was first introduced to Pastries Not Potatoes when I went to an ( Unilocal Unofficial Event) Iron Cupcake Challenge.
It was love at first bite!
It was October, I tried the «Apple Cider» and the «Chocolate-​Chip Pumpkin Cheesecake» cupcakes.
Who thinks of these combos?! Only a pastry genius… AKA Melissa H.
Then came November’s Iron Cupcake Challenge… I couldn’t miss it!
This time I brought some of the family along… they too were in love!
«Red Velvet» and «Boston Crème Pie» cupcakes… oh sweet lordy!
It was then and there I KNEW that I wanted to try her cakes… and darn the luck… my stepson’s birthday was right around the corner.
Melissa made the most heavenly delicious «Peanut Butter-​Banana-​Chocolate» Birthday cake for him (picture posted)
Complete hit of the party!
She even set aside time for my special order to be picked-​up the day before Thanksgiving. And of course, being Thanksgiving, I had to order a dozen of those Choco-​Chip Pumpkin cupcakes for my dessert table.
The husband already told me he wants the SAME cake for his birthday and that’s not until next September!
I can’t wait until it’s time for December’s Iron Cupcake Challenge… check the events page folks!

I may be an addict. I happened upon these delightful baked goods and thought, «These look interesting. I’ll have one. Mmm. That was good. I’ll have another.» Twenty minutes pass and I am gobbling up the cookies, cheesecakes and brownies like I am a neon ghost and these things are pac-​people. I couldn’t help myself. They look as good as they taste and you really *can’t* eat just one. You can’t. An addiction was born.
Since then, I just *happen* to be where these baked goods are — you know, stalking outside Melissa’s trash cans… Happenstance. A friend of mine had a fun birthday party at a local gastropubby/​watering hole/​thingamabob. I came to celebrate the birthday girl’s big day, see some folks and have a couple of drinks. It may have been her birthday, but I was the one who got the presents. Why? Because the goodies were from PnP! There were a couple of items up for grabs but all I saw were strawberry shortcake cupcakes. Strawberry shortcake cupcakes. I tried. I really tried *not* to eat them all. It wasn’t my birthday, I didn’t know everyone there and it’s sorta rude to bury my face in cake whilst ignoring all around. Oops. At least I said «Happy Birthday» to the bday girl.
Don’t judge me. I have a problem. Anyone, eh, have a birthday coming up? Wanna invite me to the shin dig?

These pastries are a verifiable substitute for sex. In fact, I dare you to bring them into the bedroom.
I rarely eat a desert if it doesn’t have chocolate in it, and yet her Blue Moon Beer inspired pastry at the Unilocal Summerfest was amazing. Delicious, balanced, sweet, with just the right tang of orange. Of course, I could have sat down and eaten every last one of her Car Bomb Cupcakes. Just saying.

PnP saves the day!
Sooooooo, I was in need of some special order cupcakes for one of my bestie’s bachelorette parties. I mean, let’s eat dessert in style, right? Her fav is lemon poppyseed cake with buttercream frosting… not exactly a common flavor at Molly’s, Sweet Mandy B’s, et al.
Two weeks prior, I put in my order with Miss Mel… and never had to worry about a thing. She quoted me a fair price (very, compared to some cupcake shops), and discussed design, etc. She checked in a few days before, and all was set. Her cheery attitude and eagerness to make it as smooth (pun intended) as possible was evident, and much appreciated.
She even delivered them personally to the restaurant we were dining at that evening, so that we’d have them for after. Now THAT is service! It took such a load off, and I hadn’t even seen the little cakes yet…
And, they were perfect. A dozen lemon poppyseed cupcakes with rich buttercream frosting and the most adorable fondant (edible!) wedding cakes perched atop each of them.
My friend loved them, I loved them, and Melissa is the best… oh, and of course, the treats are knock-​down, drag-​out fantastic. Of course!
The perfect call to make for your private order baked goodies… plus, how can you not love that name?!

I wanted to start out this next year of my life sweetly, so I hired Melissa to whip up some of her bite-​sized miracles for my bday party. After a few discussions, we decided on strawberry shortcake mini cupcakes and Kissing Bandit Cheesecake (vanilla mini-​cheesecakes with candy hearts put together to look like lips). Everything was so delicious and was very reasonably priced.
When the need arises again, I hope she will be the answer to my sugar prayers!

I got to sample some of the goodies that Melissa whipped up for the Unilocal Elite Game Night event at Noble Tree. I even got to chitchat with Melissa for a bit and told her my place of business was looking for someone to do monthly birthday and anniversary treats. I warned Melissa we didn’t have much of a budget but she was willing to take on the task.
Last Thursday Melissa showed up with some of the most amazing array of cookies and brownies. Everything was so tasty and well presented. My coworkers flipped over the goodies. Everyone told me they tasted just like homemade, just out of the oven treats. They were especially excited to know we have begun to support a local vendor.
Melissa and her magic treats certainly did not disappoint. She arrived promptly and even had cards labeled with what each cookie or brownie was called. We had two different cookies and two different brownies. Some had nuts and others did not so there was something for everyone.
I’m glad I got to talk to Melissa at the event and even more excited that she helped me hit a home run at my office with her treats!

Nooooooooow here’s a little story I gots to tell about this fab lady I don’t know well.
It started inside of Noble Tree
With sugar, my boo, and me: Rach-​E
She had these trays that drew me near
I waited for a neat lil path to clear
Running past my man, eating with my hand
Shankin’ other kids cause the sweets are in demand
One hungry bitch-​e I be
All by myself with an O cookie
The Unilocalers stare me down saying «dont do that»
I had tried all the sugar before I ever sat
Eating up the cheesecakes, Mel caught my eye
I said «NOM NOM GOOD NOM NOM» She said Hi
SHE made all these snackies with an energy burst
With a mini cupcake in my hand, crumbs on my lip
I continued on my awesome sugar trip…
That was really hard to write. I have to just continue in plain English, not «Beastie».
Super fast bullet points about why you should go here
–Melissa. She’s a cute genius. Rarely do these qualities exist together.
–Sugar.
–Pretty things you can eat
–Edible creativity
–PERFECT cookies. Really really perfect cookies.
–I might be there, so you can meet the whackjob that wrote this review.
PNP 4 LYFE

What more could you ask for in a sweet treat… super creative, aesthetically pleasing, amazingly delectable and 100% custom tailored exactly to your needs. All things you can count on from Pastries Not Potatoes, the cheeky brain child of adorable owner, Melissa Humphrey.
Not only do all of the creations taste phenomenal, but take a look at the photos and they speak for themselves… each item is handcrafted and totally custom. No ‘cookie cutter’ goodies here (bah dum dum!). Let Melissa’s creativity wander a bit and I bet she could capture a sweet fit for any occasion that would not skimp on flavor or wow factor… want cookies in the initials of the birthday guest? You got it… imagine what great favors those would make!
PNP does mini cheesecake a one-​up with adorable shapes and colors (Pac Man, anyone?) and classic cupcakes with edgy, stylish twists — these delicious puppies are not to be missed! Bookmark now for your next soirée or just your next loud and proud sugar craving… I’m already planning a Black & White party solely for the gorgeous cookies alone, but really, when it comes to sweets we know I don’t try too hard to rationalize.

The thing about Melissa and her company is that she gives you options when you have no clue as to what you’re looking for. I needed some desserts made for my bosses (all 6 of them!) for the holidays. I had a budget of $ 25 a piece and didn’t know what I wanted. After talking with Melissa, I decided on 3 flourless chocolate cakes and 3 chocolate peppermint cheesecakes, all 9″ (insert size joke here). Everyone loved their cakes, so much so that they weren’t even willing to share. :(One boss came up to me the next day and said that he thought he tasted heaven — the chocolate peppermint cheesecake was that good.
I also ordered cheesecake filled chocolate cupcakes with white chocolate (see a theme?) on top for Christmas Day. Holy hell, those were awesome!
Melissa is more than willing to work with you and figure out what you would like and how much you need. You will not go wrong with Pastries Not Potatoes! Now, who would like to get me my own taste of heaven?

Its PNP
Her cookies are dyno-​mite!
Its PNP
Her cakes are out of sight!
Its PNP
Her cupcakes are tight!
Its PNP
After all these treats, my pants don’t fit right!
I take my sweets seriously, because I seriously love them. Melissa knows how to make a dessert — its her passion and it shines through everything she makes. From cookies to cakes to cupcakes she is consistently creative — and everything tastes fantastic.
I use PNP for all of the birthday celebrations I do at work — every time she creates a fun dessert based off a few creative ingredients. Then the entire time we are eating the dessert people are oohing and ahhing, oh this is so good… One time she made key lime cupcakes — unreal people, so good. Last year for our holiday party we ordered sugar cookie cutouts, and to this day people are still talking about them.
If you need any sort of dessert — be it birthday, bringing dessert to a holiday party, you suck at baking or need to drown your sorrows in a dozen cookies — get in touch with Melissa — she will make you a dessert to remember.

Some of you lucky Unilocalers may have had a chance to sample some delectable goodies from Pastries Not Potatoes at the fabulous Unilocal Holiday Bash 2008. Ginger cookies with passion fruit butter cream, chai tea latte cookies and chocolate peppermint canoli’s were the choices of the night.
Ok, I have to admit that the owner of Pastries Not Potatoes, Melissa H, is one of my dearest friends. But at some point, long long ago, before the birth of PNP, she was just a girl that made really good cookies. And before long people would request her cookies at any event she attended. If she didn’t have them, some people might have become very very upset. After awhile of this vicious cycle she smartened up and decided she could make some serious money off this because she is good. Like, really really good (which could be partially due to the whole culinary school thing and the years of practice in various kitchens)!
So PNP was born. Since this time I have never and will never order another dessert from anywhere else. She can customize any desert to just the way you like it. From logo’s on cookies to special birthday cake flavors to cupcakes of any flavor you can imagine. I get raving compliments every time I take something from PNP to parties or family functions. For my last birthday my blueberry lemon cake was talked about for weeks after. I threw a Mardi Gras themed party and she made a king cake from scratch that everyone loved.
So yeah, I think you get the point. Aaaaaaaaany ting you want! That’s what you will get here. The business is still a baby but I can guarantee you this… You will be hearing much more about PNP real soon!