Frank Crowley Courts Building

Want to try government cheese /​jail food? Eat here. And don’t try to pay with a credit card. Cash only.
The Mexican food and fruit stand are the only food that doesn’t look like diarrhea.
AVOID THIS PLACE AT ALL COSTS. PAY TO PARK 2x, IT’S WORTH IT

On Feb 25^th, I was summoned via official first class U.S. postal Murica mail to serve my civic duty as an Merkin citizen, so I strapped on my Justice boots N leapt into action in my 4×4 Black Hawk, penetratin’ the Texas Thundersnow (also my horse’s name) N blastin through ice lightning (also my drink o choice). Tweren’t no stopping me! Not even the left lane hippie Prius drivin court blockers slowd me down! I gunned from East frozen tundra Dallas county, Texas, Murica, to wild lawfull West Dallas Frank Crowley Courtroom of Justice N Bureaucratic Prosecutin’ on Justice Drive, Dallas proper, Texas, Murica. Never has justice beckoned so loud. ‘Twas like the Angels horns blowin rapture’s arrival. My tiny life and job happenins were dropped like deer ticks from a tree, so as I could serve my duties. Mr. Crowley was in need of my unbias judgement of guilty peers and I came a judgin’ all the way! Till then never have I judged so hard than I did there. Maybe once standin in line behind a leopard print legging obese woman paying for a bill with pennies N pocket lint at Walmart, but now I was judging for a higher purpose. A $ 6 paycheck, $ 3 of which go to the «Freedom Isn’t Free, $ 3 Parking» parking lot for jurors, on Justice Drive, Dallas Texas, Murica. I pulled in, makin only left turns. Spiralatin upwards 5 levels, closer to the good lord, like A Dale Earnhardt Sr. of Justice, lookin to find my finish line in justice heaven, Murica. After parkin’, I got out my ve-​hickle and physically spiralated downwards again 5 levels, to stand in a windy tunnel with 2 line choices. 1 fast. 1 slow. TIP#1: When presented with 2 govment options, always choose the slowest most painful option because in the end the fast appearin’ option’s a mirage! and it’ll take you back to where your greed and impatience made you stray, faster then a game a Chutes N Ladders! At the end o the line there was a big man with a magic sound wand who blessed me and told me to adjust my bandoleer gun holster belt and shoot my guns once in the air for Justice and one for freedom while I yee-haw’d! N then spit my chewin baccy into the conveyer belt tub N proceed forward N pick it up yander after passin through a door frame with light bulbs and no door. So I passed and picked up my chewin wad, and went in crop circles till I found a dotmatrix printpaper sign with dangly unpunched chads hangin’ from it. It read JURORS with a arrow made of rows N columns of X’s, pointin. So I went up the excaliburator o Justice N standin at the door, an officer o the law complimented my pistols and asked for my juror badge N let me in. I sat down ready for Justicin’. But instead I waited and waited in deep thinkin’. As I sat and pondered which o these cough N hackin sick yahoos would sneeze and give me the herps, suddenlike the lady with the microphone called upon us to stand N raise our right pistol and swear to uphold justice amen. The wheels o justice are a rollin! She called a few jurors, herded em to wait in a smaller justice room, like at the doc’s office but with more waiting N more justice N less drugs. I twernt picked to Justice right then, but instead to wait s’more. Come to find out, they were all full of justice N sent me home with justice blue balls (not the best ice cream in the country). So after release, I stood in another line for a autographed exit note so as to hereby inquirers to here ye know, that we, ye have honorabully served, and are of good body N sound mind to go back to our dumb lives N produce’em more taxable revenue for justicing to continue. I finally got to the signin room. The man stood N saluted me for my jury service, and asked why I didn’t stay home in this weather? and I said sir, I can’t stay at home, its JUST.ICE. And we both shared a long eye stare N pun laugh, N shot s’more air bullets in celebratin of puns N guns day, Murica! Then I retraced my steps back past the wind tunnel o contemplation, N lined up for a elevator o torture N confinement of personal space invasion. I got to my 4X4 half n hour later and spiralated back down through Dante’s 5 rings of parkatory, feeling rejected from paralegaldise. where I then waited in a v-​hickular waitin line, itchin towards toll booths so as to pay my «Freedom Isn’t Free, $ 3 Parking» parking for jurors fee while I rocked to a Kid Rock marathon on 97.1 the Eagle, Murica! Overall, wait time N parking tweren’t great, N The Freedom Fries I brought were cold N soggy, N the server never came by to refresh my coffee. I would not recommend coming here if you are on a schedule of some sorts or running from the law or want pancakes. Here, only Justice is served! Some or most of this review may not be guaranteed to be accurate or without exaggeratin, since I typed it while I was hellishly bored. Don’t bring weapons, foreign accents, or threatenin postures. I, a fellow Merkin, approve this message.

The only times I have been in the same building with criminals, besides Walmart, is at the Frank Crowley Courts Building. You have a bunch of people inside that actually work there. Then there’s that bunch of jury duty goers that don’t want to be there. Finally, there’s the bunch of people you know committed some kind of crime. Why else would this be a court building?!
Anyway, the first time I paid for the $ 5 uncovered parking lot across the street that is NOT validated for jury duty. The garage that is actually across Riverfront is where you are gifted with the amazing $ 3 validated parking.
There will be someone directing everyone there for jury duty on the first floor. You all get filed into a large room to watch a video and get assigned a court room. Come early or else you may be left standing against the wall or awkwardly excusing yourself across a row to get to an empty seat right in the middle of everybody. Also, fill out your dang questionnaire online! It is 2015, know how to use the Internet! Nobody wants to wait around in the putrid common jurors room and wait for you to fill it out on the spot.
Keep cash on you because the convenience store on the first floor and cafeteria on the bottom floor is cash only. There are ATMs on-​site though if you forget, but most likely they will be out of order.
Besides completing your fulfilling service of jury duty, seriously, watch your back. There are some shady people roaming around and it’s best to stay with your jury pack. Have fun!

So here’s what you need to do. Make sure you fill out your questionnaire online. Seriously, it’s very easy. Make sure you show up on time. They say 8:30, but you could get here at 8:45 and you’ll be fine. There’s quite a bit of leeway. Traffic will be the determining factor on whether you’ll be tardy or not.
I got picked. I considered making a t-​shirt that said, «I hate voir dire» and trying to sell it at the courthouse even. I couldn’t disqualify myself. I was too unbiased that not selecting me would indicate a problem.
This time, our jury selection DA was really kinda terrible. He stumbled over his words, he phrased things in the most confusing ways or just asked questions that didn’t lead you to the answer he wanted. The question he asked me was, «Right after a robbery, who is in control of the evidence?»
I answered, «The store that got robbed.»
Him: «No… who would have that evidence?»
Me: «I guess it’d be the police.»
Him: «Don’t you think it would be the perpetrator?»
Me: «OBJECTION! LEADING QUESTION!» Oh, I wish I had said this. But I kinda just gave up and said, «uh… sure.»
Although I wasn’t very happy about being selected, I was interested in seeing how our legal system works. Our case was an aggravated robbery. In a criminal case like this, the state has to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that everything in the charge happened. The time, the person, the crime and in this case, that there was a weapon. We heard witness testimonies and the defendant did not take the stand. With all the evidence at our disposal, we were to make a decision — guilty or not guilty? If the state proves its case, then it’s guilty, if there’s a reasonable doubt that one part of the prosecution didn’t prove it’s case, it’s not guilty. Just use the facts and the law. In our case, it was quite clear but many people muddied the case with their own feelings and the «what if’s.» You must purge your mind of the questions you have and only use the evidence presented to you. We had two decisions to be made and once we could agree upon the same two answers, the defendant was guilty. It was easier than I thought.
Then came the punishment phase. The defendant had already plead guilty to one charge so we were to assign punishment for that and for aggravated robbery. This was the defendant’s first felony conviction so probation was on the table. You can send notes to the judge but you will get a note back from the judge that essentially says, «You’re on your own.» He/​She is not supposed to help you in any way even if it seems the most neutral question ever. In our case, both charges would be served concurrently, meaning that if we assigned 10 years of jail for each of the charges, the defendant would be on the hook for 10 years, not 20 years. What we also didn’t know was that you can assign any combination of those charges. 2 years jail on one charge and 10 years probation on the other meaning the defendant would be in jail for up to 2 years and then 8 years of probation afterwards. Also, it’s not up to you to decide what happens when/​if the defendant breaks probation. You only decide the probation period. That’s it, don’t consider anything else.
Our final decision was to be merciful and we assigned a sentence of 10 years probation and a $ 10,000 fine to be paid on one count and 10 years probation and a $ 10,000 fine to be probated/​suspended on the other count. Probated or suspended means if he/​she doesn’t break probation, they are not subject to that fine. Best case scenario is that our defendant would be on probation for 10 years and owe $ 10k in fines. Worst case is 10 years in jail and $ 20k in fines plus whatever else the judge decides to throw in.
It was difficult because none of us were lawyers and none of us knew the terminology and needed clarification without someone there to help us clarify.
The judge came in afterwards and talked to us about our decision. He told us that whatever we decided, that’s the right answer. We’re the jury and we are to decide. He had an idea before the trial what he thought was fair and he had something along the lines as us. That at least validated our decision and it makes you feel better in the end, even if he’s feeding us a line.
You do get paid $ 40 per day if you’re chosen. Think twice before checking the box to donate your jury duty money.
Lastly, it’s cold in there. Bring a jacket or sweater. Wear jeans or long pants. There is a dress code. Bring cash, everything is cash. $ 3 to get out of the parking lot, if you validate your ticket in the Bailiff’s office. And yes, the Bailiff in that office will minimize whatever he’s looking at on his computer the second you open that door. Look quickly or you’ll miss it.

Jury Duty… SCORE! Like all American citizen who are not complete assholes that take their freedom for granted, I was obviously thrilled to find a jury summons waiting for me in the mail one day when I arrived home from work. Sure, jury duty can be inconvenient, dull, and even difficult – but it beats the hell of wild west justice.
The Frank Crowley building has a great view of downtown Dallas from the higher floors. You can almost see the exact spot where JFK got gunned down. But that view is really the only remarkable thing about the Frank Crowley building. Other than that, there are about 100 things they could do to make this a more pleasant experience, such as:
a) Getting park in the morning is a beast. The lines for the garage are long and block the streets. Also, is the only parking garage in America that doesn’t have some kind of system where you can pay by credit card? It’s cash only. And even as a juror, you have to pay $ 3 after validation. So if you leave during lunch, you’re paying 3 bucks. Then again at the end of the day. This is completely ridiculous.
b) Getting in the front door is also a beast. They have one metal detector and a long queue you have to wait in. You have to take off your belt and put all your metal belongings into dirty, broken bins that look like they were salvaged from a dumpster. The airport can service a billion people a year and get clean bins, but the courthouse can’t upgrade to two metal detectors? Really?
c) Getting upstairs: also a beast. There are 6 elevators. Maybe 8. I can’t remember. They may have been programmed by prisoners. They definitely seem highly inefficient. You’ll wait for 10 minutes at busy times. Maybe longer. You can take the stairs – if you’re up for smelling like B.O. in the summer after huffing and puffing your way up 11 floors.
d) If you’re there for jury duty, you end up in a central jury room with about 8000 other citizens that reinforces every instinct you’ve ever had to question whether humanity even deserves to survive. Almost everyone is grumpy, half-​awake, and acting like they’re the ones going to jail instead of the people above them in the courts. In the room they show a video that looks like it was produced in the 1980s and which informs you of how awesome your life now is because you get to be a juror. #AmericaRules! Like an hour later they start calling out groups of people by assigned number on your jury summons and you are sent to a court or dismissed.
e) After dealing with the ten minute delay to get an elevator, you go to a court and generally wait outside for an eternity until you are eventually filed into a courtroom (I had to wait until close to 2 pm before this happened) so the attorneys can pick a jury. In my case, the attorneys were two women who barely looked old enough to be out of law school for the prosecution (making you wonder about the sad state of public service) and a defense attorney who looked like he would rather be anywhere else, but this could have been part of some elaborate ruse on his part to seem like a «normal guy» who then surprises you with the way he handles a witness.
f) Eventually after shuffling in and out of court you are either picked to be on a jury or dismissed. If you end up on the jury, you get to sit in a cold court room that doesn’t look nearly as cool as anything on Law & Order, you get to listen to attorneys who come off like bad actors trying to give Hollywood courtroom style monologues, and you get to spend your spare time (and there is a lot of it) in a jury room with a bathroom so small and poorly designed that you will become overly familiar with the sound of your fellow jurors urinating.
g) Again, if you want anything decent to eat you either have to fork over 3 bucks to leave the garage or pack a lunch (the jury room has a fridge), because your only options are a snack bar and a cafeteria that is straight out of the 70s with greasy food and – again – no option to pay with credit card.
h) On the plus side, in my experience the bailiff and the judge seemed like great people who went out of their way to show that they genuinely appreciated your time and effort and they wanted the experience to be as painless as possible for the jurors.

Come on… who doesn’t like to be dragged downtown for jury duty, forced to stand in line for like and hour, yelled at by security people, forced to associate with people you really don’t want to and pay for parking? Oh yeah… me, that’s who. Bargain basement price of 3 bucks to park because you’re doing your part… it was cold, then it was freaking hot with over 200 bodies packed in lines waiting to be let the hell in the room.
It was really entertaining watching people check the boards for which room they were due in… not. Goodness I really don’t want to go back here!

Being in the Frank Crowley courthouse always brings back memories of the good old days during law school when I used to intern for the DA’s office.
The skybridge over Riverfront Blvd. makes parking fairly convenient. Although, the skybridge tends to be a bit of a wind tunnel, so button your coat.
Frank Crowley serves its purpose just fine, but the courthouse is in definite need of a major upgrade. The courtrooms are so run down that you’d think you were here for a traffic ticket. I took a seat outside the courtroom on one of the benches. When I stood up, my shoes were almost glued to the floor. It doesn’t look like they clean too often, and I’m guessing they don’t clean very well when they do. There are water stains on the walls and ceilings.
They’re either fixing or replacing most of the escalators, so there was a persistent odor of grease and construction materials throughout the building. You’re also greeted with an ear-​piercing whirl of buzzsaws and cordless drills.
The court reporter must have had a long weekend, because during a particularly long recess she put her head down for a quick cat nap. I don’t blame her, I was feeling pretty drowsy myself. Of course, sitting on an uncomfortable wooden bench for nearly 3 hours didn’t help things either.
I didn’t eat there today, but their cafeteria food is actually halfway decent (all things considered).

Jury Duty plus a stupid, pompous, arrogant Judge plus idiot Attorneys make for an awesome fun filled day at this crap-​hole of a place. A day at this place felt like jail. Wasn’t brave enough to eat anything from the cafeteria– the food looked almost as hideous as the workers there. I would advise all to steer clear of the Frank Crowley Courts Building but, just like me, you won’t have a choice.

So yeah, a review for this place isn’t really that great. I doubt you’re going to choose to come here for any specific reason, so no amount of stars will improve your probably mandatory visit here.
The building itself is clearly an older building of Dallas, so there’s not too much that can be said about it. It’s relatively clean, and there are signs to tell you where to go (if people aren’t already telling you). Could it be cleaner and generally less dingy/​sketchy feeling? Yes, of course.
Parking does suck. You can park outside in the public lot that does NOT have validated parking, or you can park in either of connecting garages. Note that the other reviewers are correct. Validated parking in these garages is $ 3. (If you’re here for jury duty, note that your validated parking thing is included in the mail with badge now.)
ProTip: Try parking on the 3^rd floor so you can take the sky bridge to the courts building.

Eff the man. Sure I deserved a speeding ticket, but at least I got my ticket handled through my lawyer so that it doesn’t go on my record. Next time I think I’m gonna mail my stuff in so I don’t have to feel like a guilty by actually coming here.
$ 3 parking is across the street from here and make sure you don’t have too much metal on you or you might be fondled/​raped at the metal detectors at the entrances.

How did this place ever get more than one star? I’m here everyday and believe me Unilocalers, stay away if you can! And now the Skybridge garage is falling down so there’s nowhere to park unless you get there at 7 in the morning, before the building is even open! If I weren’t a lawyer I’d never come here, and if I got a jury summons I’d adopt a small child just to get out of it! Having said all that, the people that work here all get 5 stars, save a few!

Customer Assistance for Jury Room — I have dealt with many public entities in my day, but this is the most inconsistent, rude, and generally frustrating department I have ever had to deal with. The form is ridiculous, USE BLUE OR BLACK INK — ERASE ANY CHANGES COMPLETELY! IF they bother to answer the phone I get contradictory advice and unbelievable attitude. No interest in helping anyone navigate the system.

$ 3 validated parking? Really? So, let me get this straight. I’m being asked to leave work for a day (at a minimum), navigate my way to an intimidating part of town, figure out which parking garage has the skywalk and you’re still going to make me pay for parking? City of Dallas, you’re something else.
I don’t hate jury duty as much as some folks but I hate having to serve at Frank Crowley. Just being that close to Hotel Sterrett gives me the willies. Luckily, I figured out to park in the D garage and managed to find a spot directly across from the elevators. This is the best parking scenario I’ve found yet. Your validated parking stub is on the jury summons sheet you received in the mail, so make sure you hang onto that paper once you check-​in.
If you’re serving during the summer and looking for the coolest spot in the jury room, head for the seats near the long wall of windows on the far side of the room. The vents blow pretty well over there even though the air doesn’t seem to make it to the other side of the room.
There aren’t many decent, quick food options nearby so bring change for the vending machines (they don’t always take dollars even though they look like they should). There’s a cafeteria on site if you’re feeling brave, so bring cash for that as I didn’t notice whether or not they take plastic.
Be sure to bring a book or iPod as you’ll do more sitting around and waiting than anything. And if you need to leave the building after 5 to smoke, take a buddy to stand inside the door and open it back up. They lockdown the building at straight up 5:00.
They’ve upped jury pay if you get picked for a jury ($ 40/​day) and the first day is still $ 6. I used to donate my jury money but I served on a jury for a few days and learned quickly to take the compensation.

Solid cafeteria food, but it bumps up to a 3 star joint when they have the stir fry line set up. This, I believe, happens on Tuesdays (or at least it did when I worked there). Your belly will be full of asian-​inspired goodness when they give you your styrofoam full of wok-​seared ingredients to eat.
For breakfast, I found the biscuits and sausage gravy to be the only way to go. Sometimes the gravy is too thin, and if so, you just skip it that morning. Otherwise, get 2 and live happy.