The Funky Monkey

Pictures that you see there are hella old lol ever since the owner made the dj change the style of music its been wack.

The bartenders had me waiting 30 minutes to close out my tab. Unacceptable! When I closed my tab, they were charging me for a total of 11 drinks when I ordered 6.

If you want to RUN out due to fighting, then this is the place to be!
It was a girls night out (last weekend ¹⁰⁄₁₇) celebrating our friends birthday. We were there long enough to get a drink (the bartender Lisa, I think that was her name, she seemed confused and maybe a little tipsy) a guy was yelling at her. She got mad and threw some ice which hit a totally different guy! We we there for a total of 20 – 30 minutes. We saw some people pushing and shoving each other on the dance floor. Luckily we were seating next to the door at a table and RAN out! Such a waste of time and we didn’t get to finish our drinks! The police were outside maybe 5 or 6 HPD cars were there.
I only gave it ONE star because Unilocal made me.

Really enjoy their karaōke here on Mon and Tues nights when «Red» is hosting. She’s fun
and makes the occasion lively. I like the downtown vibe too. You get all types in here but
the overall vibe is mellow. It’s a large place also so you don’t feel cramped. Plenty of room to spread out. The building itself where the bar is located must date from one of the original structures in Hayward so its got authentic historical charm as well .
One quibble: the Wed KJ (karaōke DJ) is kinda boring and not particularly friendly. Doesn’t really engage the crowd. Maybe that’s why the place is dead on Wed nights? Mgmt please
take notice.

The bartenders are absolutely adorable here. The prices are great, and its a cash only place. Usually has awesome music playing.
It does get packed the element of people sometimes is a bit sketchy, but I like the place. Its fun, is vibrant and people are there having a good time. What more could you ask for.

I had a great time at the Funky Monkey a few days ago. The bartenders are good and professional and make sure all their customers are well taken care of. The day that I visited the bar I was able to catch the game on! They have TV’s all around and I especially like the guy who does the Kareoke on Sunday. I really enjoyed myself there! The bar does a great job making drinks. While I there I has a great time will be back!

Lately I’ve been avoiding this bar as women tend to bring a lot of drama in here. Definitely a bar I’m keeping away from now on.

Been coming here about 5 years… strong drinks and The locals are cool, that’s y I come here I always meet a friendly neighbor. I have «met» the owner twice and she was cold and VERY rude. I’ve seen and heard her be this way to other young pretty females as well. inferiority complex perhaps… big turn off lady.. relax its still your bar.

GOD, IT’S A DUMP. BUT SINCE I REALLY LIKE DIRTY, DINGY DIVE BARS, THAT IS A COMPLIMENT. I must confess that I rarely go there, but I did go today, and was pleasantly surprised.
A good selection of craft beers & ales (which is what I drink) & a full bar if you like mixed drinks. I can’t comment on the wine list, but imagine it is probably lame. UH, YA DON’T GO THERE FOR WINE. Pints were $ 4.50, which I consider reasonable. Lots of sports on TV, & jukebox & video games to amuse you if that floats your boat. Bartender was a cute, very friendly Asian woman, and she took good care of my friend and me. The bar was hardly occupied (Sunday, and Mothers Day to boot), and those who were there were very mellow and quiet. My companion and I sat in the outdoor area all by ourselves, and enjoyed the solitude and the relaxing fountain out there.
The Funky Monkey has a reputation for containing methheads, tweakers, whores, and other antisocial, violent lowlifes. It may well deserve that reputation, but today it did not. I enjoyed myself there, and found it very mellow and relaxing. Your mileage may vary!

Came in here while walking to my car from Bijous on a cusp between some Too Short and some UGK. Place was packed and amazing. Such a mixed crowd of people. Expect some side eye. Music was on point. NEVER CHANGE!

I grew up in Hayward, moved out to the valley and always kept hearing about this place, finally went this weekend and don’t think I’ll be going back again, it’s a thug club, you will always see a cop parked out side for a reason. Fights! Wack!

I like this place its chill, I always meet a fun local. I’ve been here SEVERAL times as I have lived in this neighborhood for years. and the young girl who bartends is not friendly unless you’re a man… wtf… I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt a couple times but nope. she doesn’t like females she is almost always hella rude if ur a chick but if ur a guy she’s all giggles and service. Also I was on there last time and one of the bartenders (very nice older lady) introduced us to the owner who was SOOO rude (and she was SLOPPY DRUNK) omg she basically acted like a celebrity who was too good to say hello and welcome us to her bar it was hilarious. I still come tho because I’m not there for the staff I’m there for the atmosphere and drinks. Not all the staff is rude and stuck up just the redheaded bartender and that owner.sheesh. Still a fun local spot

My friends and I walked in on a Sunday evening. Place was dead at first. We went for the Karaōke night. The guy was late, first of all. Karaōke night was supposed to start at 9pm, didn’t start until 9:30. Then he started calling people that’s on the list. I think I mentioned we were there first. The karaōke guy walked in with about 5 – 6 people behind him (Friends). He started calling them 1 by 1 and they were doing 2 – 3 songs each. It was annoying that we had to wait for each and everyone of his friends to go first before anyone else in the bar. The right thing to do should’ve been alternating your friends with customer list. It would’ve been better that way. Mix it up a bit. Would I go back, I highly doubt it.

I came here on Saturday for a few drinks with my boyfriend and it was dead. we got here around 1030 and stayed for 2 hours due to the good hiphop they were playing. For a crown royal and coke it was 7.75 which isn’t bad. Negative it took about 10 mins to get a drink once you were standing at the bar. Bartenders are pretty slow and you can tell cater to the regulars. Also Just wish it would have gotten a little busier to get the party started but overall it was a decent night out for a few drinks. Will probably be back.

Local bar. Reminds me of the town. Yes! The bartender tonight (Tuesday) doesn’t seem personable but hey… I likes those type of people lol. Especially since I am personable, it fucks with them. Paid for with a credit card and there was no tip line so I couldn’t give a tip. Did she deserve one? No. But I still tip.
Eeeeyyyy did the jukebox just start playing some Lil Wayne? Ok I really like this joint. Spacious. Not alot of people here, so I’m good. I will fucks with this joint again

My shortest review EVER: Two words… ewwww ewww… Not ever.

Fun place friendly bartenders.
Chill patio, great karaōke and a mix of tunes.
Up beat place to have a great time in Hayward.

This bar/​lounge, whatever it is, is not a good place. First of all, the bartenders concentrate on the «usuals» and not on the walk ins. They chop it up with the people they know and forget to service the other people. Me and my friend walked in there and stood for about 15 – 20 minutes waiting for service. Why? Because the bartenders were talking, conversing, Chopin it up with their regulars. Unacceptable.
The crowd at the bar used to be diverse, now it just seems like, and excuse my language, but all ghetto. It feels like walking into downtown Oakland inside this bar.
The security is shit, they let people in who they know WITHOUT checking their ids and check everyone else’s id. I do believe at any bar an ID is required regardless if you know the person or not? Am I wrong? On top of that they are bias in their decisions, who am I kidding, they’re racist. My friend got into an altercation with another patron and we got asked to leave, my friend was right in all manner of her argument and yet we still were asked to leave. The other party? And again, excuse the language, but they were black. We tried to argue our point, but no we were not only asked, but told to leave. On top of that my friend was shoved by the security guard and knocked to the ground when she was just trying to argue her point moreover. Wtf is that? Protecting the patrons in the bar? Under no circumstances, by anyone’s standard is it cool to shove a girl hard enough to knock her over. They need to put security in check, I would understand if it was a guy, but a girl? This was the second «chance» we gave this place and this place is a definite no. Never coming back here again.
If there is anyway to give half a star please someone tell me because this place is shit. NOT A RECOMMENDED BAR TO GO TO, yes I’m a new user but look, I had such a bad time I had to make an account just to write this review. That says a lot about this place.

I was just Unilocalin some of my favorite food places and saw my bar pop on the side and thought Id come review again. Seriously, some of the reviews for the Funk are hella funny, and Im not being facetious! I literally lold. However, all the real problem instances and really trashy, stabby, fighty people were from what I refer to as the KMEL Club Funky Monkey Rick Lee Era.
This was never a club, but the most prominant hip hop radio station constantly referred to it as a club, so these ratchets came and treated it that way.
Its pretty lowkey now. You can still come Thur-​Sat and get a DJ, but the mix is ECLECTIC! Older, younger, gay, straight, rocker, hip hopper, theyve got it all, and the mix is fun. People watching and new friend making are both so awesome here. Sundays andddd Mondays? Are karaeoke night, and where there are some duds, there are some serious pipes in the building (and im no longer referring to crack pipes, ha!). Drinks are fair and I love the bartenders. Give this place a shot already!

It’s the epitome of a dive bar in Hayward. My personal favorite nights to visit are on Mondays and Tuesdays, when there’s karaōke and it’s slower. Not the «hip hop» crowd that comes out on Fridays and Saturdays. Everyone’s more relaxed, it’s not crowded at all, and you can just sit back and enjoy a beer or three with friends without having to yell over the music to hear one another.
Zephyr is super sweet and a good bartender. She talks to you (and sweet talks you if you’re nice!) and makes an effort to try to get to know you and your drink preferences so she won’t disappoint when you ask her to whip something up for you. It’s one of my regular little go-​to spots when I feel like getting out for a bit and relaxing with some friends.