The Commons

Before I begin in earnest, «the Commons» = «Commons,» what are we, Cambridge?
Now, this review means especially a lot to me. As a Batesie, I spent countless (literally, I can’t count that high… I was an English major) hours here, shootin all kinds of shits and eating all kinds of things that would later become shits. Bates has always been in the top tier of dining halls, even as our academic ranking dipped below *shudder* Colby’s, but this is because we have our priorities straight: tasty food means happy kiddies, and happy we were (are? that sounds so depressing otherwise).
Highlights of the dining hall will vary depending on the amount of self-​love you have and/​or your gender: a handful of my friends creamed themselves whenever it was shepherd’s pie day (yuck) while others were crazy for stir-​fry dinnah (always worth the wait, but letsbereal everyone who was my everyone was there before the clock struck 5 and didn’t wait.) Chicken Patty Saturday (yes, CPS became an oft-​used acronym in our vocabularies) is a tradition that should still exist post-​grad, although nothing will ever taste quite the same when it’s not coming from a chafing dish and you can’t chose your particular shade of gold from dozens of patties. And Italian almond cookies. And the vegan bar when it wasn’t serving the devil’s foodproduct. And the pizza station (shout out to Pablo! Will you ever age?). And the desert bar for all it’s maimed half-​deserts that the aerobicsbiddies would chop into sample sizes. I think I will miss most of all the insane spice rack, the never-​ending supply of froyo (I *swear* the cappuccino one is flavored with kahlua), and The Toaster Over Of Creativity from which I watched the most badass open-​faced ‘wiches and pita pizzas emerge. Actually, fuck that: the thing I’ll miss most is the fact that, no matter the time or day, anyone could walk in and find a cool person and a good conversation. To get saccharine on all you who stuck with me to the end of this rambling review, the food was just supplement. Commons was an entity greater than a dining hall. Commons represented all the best parts of Bates: the freedom, hell, the permission, to sit around and talk about whatever you weren’t working on in class or whatever you were working through outside of class in a place with infinite burnt coffee in janky smelling mugs. Commons is the place where we learned more than any one classroom, not about Robert Bly or biodiversity, but about how to be a person… and about how to steal a loaf of bread without getting Jean Valjean-​ed.