Wienerschnitzel Wiener Nationals

87 Wiener dogs. 1 tiny starting gate. 1 gigantic racetrack. About 110 of the trashiest people you could ever make up in 7 lifetimes (including one entire lifetime spent drinking Keystone Light, eating beef jerky, and failing) mixed in with another few thousand medium trashy people, and a handful of hipsters. Tons of grilled, phallus-​shaped meat.
In case you’re wondering, the Wiener Nationals is a yearly event that benefits a local animal shelter. During the event, horseraces are interspersed with wiener dog races. There is basically no way to guarantee that a sausagey little dog will run 100 meters, so what you get if you’re lucky is a couple dogs that make a break for their owners at the finish iine, a few that trot along leisurely, and a few that wander around sniffing each other’s butts and rolling around in the dirt. BEST FIVE DOLLARS SPENT EVER.