Collosso

CLOSED.
Heard Colosso was closed. Just called and there was no answer on the phone.

hmpht… Went back for a quick drink and small nibble. We were the only ones there. There was a bartender and a waitress that were obviously more interested in each other’s company than having customers. She was just slow, bored and aloof. Thankfully when I got the bad vibe I decided to just order one thing and see how it went. We got the deviled eggs — too much mustard and way runny, had our drink and left. I am not likely to come back again soon.

Sat at the bar for ten minutes tonight, it was slow in the bar, very slow (virtually empty), and the bartender paid us no notice.
Finally I raised my eyebrows at her, just to get some recognition of presence and she told us that she’d be there in a moment.
Cool, I can dig. I’m patient, I understand there are things to do.
A few minutes pass and she flops her body limply on the bar and looks at us and says, «You wanted the wilted greens, right.»
**She had a sense of vacancy and disconnect from her entire environment that I have to strongly question whether she was under the influence of some heavy narcotic. (and not just herb or booze)
«No, we’ve just been sitting here ten minutes waiting to order a drink and see a food menu. Could we please have some water first?»
She said, «Yeah, sure» and then immediately walked outside to talk to someone.
With that, we left.

Yup only 3 stars. The Menu ain’t what it used to be.
On a recent return, Colosso was still dark, with no Menu reading light or sympathy provided, and nearly empty. The Menu no longer offers a good list of savory Tapas dishes. Sandwiches were the main thing offered on the menu. Nothing garlicky, savory, saucy at all.
Staff seemed indifferent to us, and I hate wondering if that is an age discrimination thing I must say I was disappointed overall, and apologized to my date for suggesting he try Colosso. The only relief was that it was quiet that evening, a huge contrast to an earlier visit — closer to Happy Hour. On that occaision people could be heard nearly shouting over vehicle noise outside.
Compared to the new Toro Bravo on Russell Street, oh so skippable.
No substitute. A wait to get in to Toro bravo would have been worth it. For Valentines Day, however, it will be 50 Plates… be aware that already it was nearly impossible to get a Reservation. We took one in the afternoon.
Reviews are mixed, so I sure hope hope we don’t regret
looking around due to line-​hesitation line to get into Toro Bravo… again.
Can’t imagine 50 Plates being as big a disappointment
of a dining experience as Colosso has become.
I vote Nada.

I have been here twice now and had a good experience both times. The food is delicious. This most recent time I had some sort of chicken goodness fried in duck fat served with perfectly sauted fresh spinach with garlic. Yum. Be prepared for a dark atmosphere at night with lots of corners to have private/​romantic conversations in. Average service, but what I would have expected for a dark bar. I went on a Weds night and it was very relaxed and not crowded. Will be back again for sure… if nothing else for that chicken again!

So far just about everyone had mentioned the lighting but I don’t think anyone has yet to mention the smell. And when I say smell, I mean stench. Maybe it’s my ex-​smoker nose but the place reeks of stale cigarette smoke. Smells like someone’s grandma’s house — but grandma has emphysema from inhaling 3 packs of Lucky Strikes for the last 60 years. Everyone in my party immediately was put off my it.
And then the lighting… my poor mom was reduced to using my BBerry as a makeshift flashlight. The server kicked my foot a couple times which wouldn’t have been a big deal except for the fact that I HAVE A BROKEN LEG. It’s pretty obvious when someone is in a hip to ankle brace and has crutches leaning next to them that their injured extremity should prob be avoided. Luckily I had percocet on board just in case.
The service — let’s see… we were told to sit anywhere — which we did. And waited, then waited some more, and started doing the looking around awkwardly thing. No menus, no drinks, no sign of a server. Finally some Mario Batali wannabe came out of the kitchen and announced to the whole room that the bartender was overwhelmed (she did, in fact, appear to be the only server) and we should go to the bar to order. So I hobbled up to get menus only to have look at me and shrug «We’re out of menus.» Ooookkkayyyyy… no plan to rectify that, no «I’ll get you some ASAP, nada. Finally Mario came out of the kitchen and started serving and got us menus. We had been there for over 30 minutes.
What followed was a couple of v. strong mixed drinks, some passable clams, the usual olives and almonds, pretty good pan con tomate, and one or two other things. When the bartender finally brought us the check it was the one for the table next to us (mom doesn’t usually slam down 8 jack and cokes and 5 makers marks at dinner). At this point we just chalked the whole night up to a comedy of errors — and the only reason we were even there was the wait at Toro Bravo was 2 hours.

The cocktails here are VERY good. Its rare that I’ll enjoy a hot alcoholic drink as I am neither a fan of coffee or of cream. They have several that use coconut milk as a base. Sweet, but tasty.
The food is pretty good. Nothing that will stand out either as too good or as too nasty.
The slogan here is «Please be patient.» No matter how many people are in the dining room, you are going to be waiting a while. A long while.
For me, its a better place when I want an after dinner drink than an actual meal, because I usually show up to a restaurant hungry. If you are the planning type and can schedule a visit about 45mins earlier than you actually want to eat, dinner would be an option for you. Be warned, even getting a drink takes a minimum 20 mins.
Sounds harsh, but I do come back because the drinks are that good, and they are open late.

One review said that the atmosphere is like walking into hell, so I was curious. I disagree because it was cold! My friend was there first and chose a seat by the window, which was dingy and scratched. The atmosphere seemed like it should be warm: dark, warm lights, cavernous nooks, candles – alas, it was not. Also, the attempted mood was killed by a basketball game broadcast on a fancy flat screen TV. Not many people can pull off dark, sultry tapas bar and sports bar at the same time. Colosso didn’t.
The food and drink, on the other hand, was great. For happy hour, we had pork butt skewers, seasonal greens (basic kale), and shrimp in this olive oil-​garlic sauce that was very satisfying. We also got lots of bread throughout the «meal».
Our goal was a hot beverage, and there were some unique options. I got a steamed cranberry drink with cardamon-​infused vodka and spices, which totally hit the spot. My friend got a Bitches Brew toddy, but she wished it were sweeter. I’d like to try some of the hot drinks that involved coconut milk, but I’m not sure if I want to endure the weird ambiance again.

So I was jonesing for a Spanish coffee to celebrate with some close friends my imminent promotion. It was a week night so we weren’t looking to get plastered and just wanted to enjoy pleasant conversation over a hot adult beverage. Remembering how cacophonous Hubers is, decided to try an alternate venue… enter Colosso.
Totally agree with Jenny C., the place looks like you are standing at the gates of Hell so it creates a bit of an odd atomosphere… not sure whether to beg for my soul or ask for a menu.
The list of spiked hot bevies was a decent list. I have to admit I was a bit impressed. Then I saw that their Spanish coffees were made with stumptown… SOLD!
So why 3 stars? It took FOREVER for the 4 of us to get our drinks and the place wasn’t even half full, the atomosphere truly lacked (although we were able to communicate using our indoor voices rather than having to use our outdoor voices as is necessary at Hubers). My Spanish coffee was delicious but I would have prefered it a little hotter than luke warm.
I’ll likely try it again as the tapas menu looked interesting but not in a huge hurry to do so.

Given the choice of taking an icy trip across the River Styx or tripping across the floor at Colosso, I’d probably have to weigh the options.
One one hand, this dark and brooding interior instills a sense of curiosity. After having a moment for the eyes to adjust to the dim interior, one can’t help but wonder if the place is a gate to somewhere. Why else on earth would it be so mysterious? It draws a bit of fear in a discombobulated first time visitor, hidden nooks and exposed tables, a menu of funky food and spirits, and a staff obviously there to do their job, but kind nonetheless.
But on the other hand, you won’t find such an angelic drink with freshly squeezed citrus, gin, and orange blossom water elsewhere.
One really does need a guide while navigating the path from bar to table. Yours truly managed to pick up a little bruise after colliding with a black table against a black wall, toppling over the few things on the tabletop. Yet some greater power was looking over us, as had the candle on the table actually been lit I’m pretty sure it would have set the drape on the wall ablaze.
At least it would have added a little more authenticity to the underworld ambiance.

I’m not sure if this is a fair review, as it’s more of a restaurant than a bar and we just drank.
But the drinks were pretty freaking good. It’s kinda swanky, very dim, even the ductwork in the restroom was painted gold.
The bartender didn’t like that we wanted to run separate tabs, but she rallied. I don’t expect servers to always like what customers do, just to deal with it. And she did, so I was okay with it.
Someone nearby was eating and whatever they had smelled really good, so if I was in the area again I’d probably drop by and try it.

I was surprised to see so many bad reviews. I haven’t been there in a year or so and have heard the place sold. I wonder??? It had always been an incredible eating experience. Great cocktails. If you went and didn’t dunk your bread in the sauce that came with the mushrooms, you’ve totally missed out.

Considering the name, I was expecting Colosso to be something utterly fantastic… dripping in Spanish awesomeness.
Unfortunately, if it weren’t for the help of the hilarious accompanying Unilocal friends, the experience would have been utterly disgraceful.
Now, the food was actually good, don’t get me wrong. I had the empanadas, which were the perfect combination of flaky and salty and yummy, and the sauteed mushrooms were also tasty. The cocktails list was also pretty expansive and innovative, with some coming with whole cloves of uncracked pepper in the actual drink.
But, man, I have to give two stars. The Sangria – c’mon! Spain’s signature drink – tasted like cheap red table wine with a bunch of random fruits thrown in. Not good.
The menu is quite short, and I was disappointed in their choices for HH… there were MAYBE two or three dishes that I found relatively appealing.
So that justifies maybe three stars. Okay. Now, here’s the doozie: The ambiance and the service.
Yes, Colosso is a candlelit joint. But it was SO DAMN DARK, it was hard to see the food in front of you. In fact, when my empanadas came, I had no idea what the filling looked like or what the heck the dipping sauce was. The chorizo filling could have been raw for all I knew. Oh, and they were playing Johnny Cash the entire time we were there. Who doesn’t like Johnny Cash, right? But at a Spanish restaurant? Really?!
Our waiter was another story. He had to have been stoned or something. It’s one thing to bump into tables and blame it on the fact that «they’re dark,» but it’s another thing to not bring clean knives when asked, to actually skip two people’s orders, and to not know how to split a check. The service was SO slow. We arrived at 5:30, and were late for a nearby movie at 7 p. m…and two people didn’t even get their orders. WTF!!!
I MIGHT go back there for drinks, but only if I have a lot of time to kill.

So I met some Unilocalers in a cave in NE Portland for some happy hour drinks last night and… oh… what? That was a restaurant? But it was so dark and cold! Was there a power outage? No, you say? Hmmm. Wow.
Anyway, I am not sure that last night’s experience was totally indicative of a normal dinner at Colosso, especially judging from some of the other positive reviews of this place by Unilocalers whose tastes I respect, but I am not at all motivated to return to this place to give it another shot.
Drinks: Inventive and delicious, the drinks at this place warrant at least 4-​stars. They are tasty, and some of the combinations are unlike others I have ever seen. I thoroughly enjoyed my «Stinky Pinky» — made with hibiscus, gin, muddled cucumber, and lime. I could throw back about 20 of those things. My cape cod (which the server initially forgot) was by the book… nothing exciting.
Food: I wouldn’t know how the food is… I never got my order. I tried the sauteed mushrooms that someone else ordered, and they were tasty, but not as good as the ones at the Farm.
Service: Clumsy and forgetful, yet nice. Total missed at our table: at least 1 drink and 2 appetizers. We only ordered drinks and appetizers. Not good. I did get a profuse apology for my missing appetizer, but the gentleman sitting next to me got no such apology (his must have been completely forgotten).
Atmosphere: DARK, cold, and… uh… did I say dark? We could barely read our menus. The music was Johnny Cash, whose music I always like, but as Danielle noted… in a Spanish restaurant? Hmm… also, it just didn’t really fit with the happy hour vibe. It was lulling and morose (his covers album)… a mood more fitting for a sad night sitting on your couch at home alone. Not for what should be a lively, upbeat happy hour time slot. It made me feel depressed, not happy.
So, my three stars is standing on the drinks alone. That’s it. Until someone drags me back here, my review will have to stand at that.

Maybe we were simply sitting at the kids table for the Thanksgiving feast… but from start to finish, it seemed like we only got the scraps.
The atmosphere was like that of some random family member’s house… who went blind 7 years ago. I mean, when the waiter is running into tables next to you because he literally can’t see them, it’s time to increase the wattage.
Standard kid’s table fare: the best stuff was gone long before we got a chance to try it. Our menu items were not only limited, two orders didn’t even arrive!
BUT — the bartender played the role of «cool older cousin Luke» who would sneak you alcohol instead of sparkling cider; you know… once the adults were all liquored up. The drinks at Colosso were creative, stiff, and delicious, and in my opinion, the only thing worth returning for. So when you and a date could use a few drinks after a movie… you know where to go, but only when you’re old enough not to be sitting on a phonebook.

WORST FOOD IN PORTLAND
I just got back from Colosso for dinner with my wife. I can honestly say it was the single worst meal I have had in this city in the last 10 years. Not kidding or exaggerating.
To start with, I order the «Bloody Myriam», their version of the Bloody Mary. I NEVER send things back, but I had to. It tasted like they threw chunks of tomato and ketchup in a glass, then added the hottest hot sauce they could find. Luckily, the waiter was very nice and swapped me for a different drink. That drink (and my wife’s drink) was lackluster, but not horrible.
For food, we ordered the empanadas, which were fine, and what wasmdescribed as a bruschetta-​like toast/​tomato/​cheese plate, and turned out to be more like garlic toast. Then came the paella /​rice dish that was supposedly so special it took longer to cook. We got it and it was absolutely disgusting. It was a rice dish and the rice wasn’t even cooked. Not «undercooked», I mean, NOT cooked. It was crunchy. And the rest of the dish tasted like a mix of refried beans with ketchup and crunchy chow mein on top.
At that point, I had already sent my drink back, so I pretended to be full and asked for the check. We left most of the food on the table. The check came to $ 50, which at that point was just an insult. On the way home, I literally had to drive through McDonalds just to get a decent meal. Not kidding.
As far as ambience, it was «spanish-​inspired», yet overly dark, hipstery, and blasting The Ramones. Didn’t make any sense or make anyone feel like there was a «theme» going on. Let’s face it, we’ve got Toro Bravo, Terroir, and Tabla in this town, so if Colosso wants to be considered a tapas bar that belongs in this city, they need to SERIOUSLY pick up their game.
I will NEVER go to Colosso again. EVER.

I came here with a few folks on a recent visit to the Portland area. The ambiance was great. I loved the red lighting, local artists’ work on the walls and the candlelit tables. They had seating for both large and small parties and let us sit and enjoy food, drinks, and conversation for quite a while. They offer up a pretty extensive drink list of wonderful concoctions, many worth trying. I personally loved the mulled wine and the Spanish coffee. The food was really affordable fairly flavorful. I love the ability to share a lot of tapas over a variety of flavors. The paella I had was definitely the highlight (olives + sausage = delicious). The staff was friendly and literally everyone in the restaurant seemed to be having a good time. Two thumbs up.

Oh how I love the Sangria! It’s a bit dangerous, because I can drink that stuff like Kool-​Aid, but I tell ya, Colosso makes the best Sangria I have ever had. Order it up in a pitcher (screw having just one glass) and suck down that fruity goodness and you will be one happy Sam!
And the ambiance… hell ya! It’s dark, it’s sexy and the tables are nice and cozy for some post-​Sangria cuddling.

I brought in the 2006 New Year at Colosso, and it was the most quirky, sexy, romantic, delicious New Year I’ve had. The text below was taken directly from my blog, because everything’s better when reviewed «in the moment.»
«So Richard and I decided to take a nap before we found a place to ring in the new year… and finally walked out the door at 11:25 pm. Oops. We strolled down Broadway and, just before midnight, found a little Spanish restaurant/​bar called Colosso. It was candle-​lit and emo/​punk staffed… perfect!
The waiter explained that a complimentary glass of cava (Spanish champagne) would be served at midnight for toasting, and that there was a New Year’s Special: an appetizer of oysters, a main course of quail stuffed with spinach (seasoned with yummy things I can’t now name), and a chocolate tort with mint cream for dessert. Now I had money to blow, so I got the dinner for us to share (with lamb skewers to substitute the oysters, as Richard and I aren’t into seafood) along with morocan chicken seasoned with taragon, more yummy spices, and kalamata olives… and two other drinks for each of us. Everything was delicious, we raved to the cook, and an extra complimentary glass of cava was served to us at no extra charge. We toasted by candlelight, laughed and smiled and… well…it was perfect. I couldn’t have asked for a better way to end last year and start this one.»
See? I’m a sucker for champagne and candle-​light, served by down-​to-​earth guys with tattoos.
Richard and I are driving back down this summer, just to get dinner at Colosso.
I’m serious. It’s that good.

Colosso is one of those quintessential PDX places. Unique, quirky, high quality and doesn’t care if anyone knows it. The kitchen is awesome. I love the mushroom in lemon/​madiera dish. The specials are really good but the regular menu works for me everytime. Varied clientele from pierced and dyed to older yuppies to Irvington Boomers. A bit noisy. Decent wine list and low corkage fee ($ 8 last time I checked). One of my total Portland favorites.