The Portland Mercury

I liked the Mercury fairly well when it first came out. Funny and a different tone then I was used to. It was good for concert and movie listings. It still has those things but after all these years the joke is getting old and I find my movie listings online.
Tip: It still has the best listings of concerts.

It is one of Portland’s version of a free newspaper you find around town. Probably the most I get out of it is what films are in theaters and concert announcements. Sometimes I get drawn into the local stories but not lately.

This is one of the first things I make sure to grab when I’m in town. It helps me get a lay of the land, let’s me know what’s going on in town, and gets me a few chuckles as well.

If you’re reading your local alternative weekly for hard-​hitting national news stories or muckraking journalism, you’re doing it wrong. You know that this is a free paper and actual journalism costs money, right? This is a newspaper for people who get their news online, but want a piece of paper to physically flip through while sitting at a coffee shop ogling the hot tattooed denizens of Portland and figuring out what bands to see next. As far as I’m concerned, the Mercury is mainly arts, entertainment, events, and a bit of local political coverage, and if you expect anything much more substantial you’re going to be disappointed.
I read the Mercury for movie reviews, One Day at a Time (HILARIOUS), Savage Love, I, Anonymous, show listings, restaurant reviews, and the event calendars. It was one of the first alternative weeklies I read, and it almost always made me laugh. When I lived in San Francisco and Boston I was quite disappointed in the local weeklies because they took themselves way too seriously and were rarely funny or relevant. I know what’s going on in the world because I read about it in my news feeds online, and oftentimes it’s fucking depressing as hell. I don’t really need my local weekly to remind me of that; I just want it to entertain me and educate me about how best to enjoy this lovely town we live in.
If you want more muckraking local journalism, you probably should have subscribed (yeah, paid money) to a local paper like The Oregonian about 10 years ago, so they didn’t have to cut their staff and content down to virtually nil. If you want serious reporting on world affairs, subscribe to a large newspaper like the New York Times. Just don’t read this newspaper you got for free and then whine about how much of your time you wasted reading it.
P. S. I should probably disclose that in possibly his last official act on Twitter, Frank Cassano propositioned me through the Mercury’s Twitter feed. And I married the guy who wrote (and originated) the video game column, «Geek Out,» so maybe I have a conflict of interest.

the mercury drops the ball consistently.
it does not play well with others.
other than the column «savage love» it has very little reason for being. it is a popularity/​pissing contest for those concerned with cool worship.
of course, this is my opinion and much like assholes everyone has one. this aphorism applies to the mercury for sure and with the exception of event listings this «newspaper» is pure opinion.
everyone is entitled to their opinion and the staffs entitlement is directly reflected in the amount of uninformed accusations and poorly formed humor in it’s pages. a town like portland deserves a much better liberal rag where journalism matters. this slapdash, haphazard mutt-​bitch of a paper is either underfunded or unaware that it’s intended audience is laughing at it.

I don’t know what that dude Andrew C. is talking about. The Mercury covers nearly no national news at all. It’s all local.
And yes it is not the brother of the WW. Not even close. Apples and oranges.
It is what it is. It is our cities young arts and entertainment paper. Covering local news stories that major newspapers won’t cover. Snark, sass, in depth coverage of local music and art.

The Mercury is not the little brother of Willamette Week. More accurately, it is the little brother of «The Stranger», which is a rag in Seattle. I would describe the Mercury’s family relationship with the WW as «not even remotely related».
Caveat: I’m a suburbanite. Once upon a time, long ago, I had my finger on the pulse of urban activity in downtown Seattle. The Stranger was my bible. I could *not* go a week without reading it. Fast forward 15 years and I’m pushing middle-​aged, don’t need to know exactly which band is playing what venue and have no need to indulge any rubber mask/​ball gag scenarios.
Regardless, I read the Mercury every time I run across one. Which, ordinarily, is at Hopworks, for what that’s worth. If I were to read it solely for the fact that it reminds me of being young and living in a giant city where grunge was still fresh, that’d be enough. However, it’s not. Here’s why I love the Mercury:
I Love Television (by Wm. Steven Humphrey)
Savage Love
I, Anonymous
One Day at a Time
Maakies
Oh, and it’s free. All of this combines to a 5 star rating from Mr. Brian I.

I can’t think of enough negatives to describe this rag. The tone usually manages to be both immature and puerile. The point-​of-​view panders to a semi-​literate hipster doofus clientele who wants to think of itself as sort of dangerous and edgy. I’m sure the writers get paid about $ 35 a week and all the food they can cadge at press events. The whole thing is an embarrassment.

Like the rest of puddletown’s population, I spend every Thursday morning scouring the I Saw U ads hoping this will be the week my bearded prince charming looks up from his laptop at Stumptown and, being in awe of my glory, he proclaims to all of the land: «Hey redheaded girl with the boots; you are pretty,» and beckons, «Let’s make out.»
So far this has not happened. But a girl can dream.
Dejected, but reading on, Savage Love always makes me realize that it’s probably better being single these days. Lest I be subjected to saddlebacking, diaper fetishists or Ted Haggard.
All in all, a sturdy and reliable source for finding out where to get drunk, dance or engage in various acts of anonymous Portlandery. True. Sometimes the writing reeks of a complete lack of self awareness. But I’ll take the smug hipster half-​assed journalism of the Mercury over the sensationalist smug yuppie gotcha journalism of the Willamette Week any day. («Señor Smith» and «Trail by Facebook» win the Pulitzer Prize of FAIL.)
All of this aside, the Mercury earns the FVSTR for one reason only: Blogtown. Genuine news reporting sandwiched between video game reviews and beard trimmer infomercials. AND, Lovelab hooked it up for my first PDX date. Unfortunately he possessed the libido, emotional development and grooming habits of an abused kitten.
Le Sigh.

There’s no shortage of free weekly tabloids in this area, but I can’t resist flipping through this one. They’re as opinionated as anybody, and the
political satire cartoon is always a knee slapper.

The «One Day at a Time» is usually enjoyable, and the two pages of news are good. However, the rest of the paper is rather empty and vulgar, and very self-​centered and self-​promotional. It’s something to read when you didn’t remember to bring something with you.

Great weekly, but sometimes it tries too hard to keep it’s hipster cred. That does get a little old. I usually try to pick it up Thursday or Friday to find out what’s happening over the weekend. The «One Day at the Time» column from Ann Romano is completely wrong, but so funny I can’t stop the habit. Same with Savage Love.
I always crack the Mercury before the WW. For some reason, neither is as good as they once were. I’m not sure what that’s about.

A piece of shit

Thursdays are not just the day before Friday. It’s the day of the week when you can pick up the latest edition of the Mercury. I like to pick mine up while I’m getting my daily caffeine fix at Stumptown (see my review). I start on the inside back page with I, Anonymous. everyone starts in a different place.
While I’m a disappointed they got rid of the Jesus Blog section, I still refer to the Mercury when decided what I’m going to get into over the weekend, what concerts are coming up, and just browsing which escort has moved up in the world… from black and white to COLOR! Go Cindy! I’m never in the I Saw You section of the personals and the Letters to the Editor are always a fun read.
My point is that the Mercury is THE independent newspaper of Portland. It’s worth reading cover to cover.

Oh dear, I’m so tired of the Mercury’s smarmy sarcasm and worn-​out humor. The content of this free weekly is virtually nill.
And yet I admit that I still pick it up on a regular basis, as it is does include a comprehensive listing of the week’s upcoming shows, events, and movies.
Oh, and you can pick it up on Thursdays!

The Mercury is an ugly mole on the side of Portland’s face with a long, disgusting hair growing out of it.
This «newspaper» is 5% content, 10% T&A, and 85% sassy, more-​ironic-​than-​you hipster babble. Well, at least they’re literate.
Upsides: perry bible fellowship, has decently comprehensive listings of shows

I’d say the Merc is the younger and hipper of the two big weeklies, and also that it’s a little more entertainment-​oriented and a little less newsy than the WW. Still, has several must-​read columns: I usually get my Savage Love on the Internet before the paper comes out each week, but I’m a pretty devoted reader of Wm. Steven Humphries’ «I Love Television» and Ann Romano’s «One Day at a Time,» which save me the chores of having to, you know, watch television and pay attention to the tabloids. This frees me up for more important activities, like eight hours of drinking a day.
Sometimes, uh, I wish the Merc represented a slightly greater diversity in perspectives, and didn’t try so hard to be bleeding edge, or apologize so profusely when it isn’t. A recent piece, for instance, had one writer going on and on about how he loves Tenacious D even though he knows they aren’t cool anymore, injecting a «No, REALLY, STOP SNEERING,» every other sentence. Man. You like Tenacious D! I like Tenacious D! Get over it, dude! This isn’t high school!

I’m going to give WW and the Mercury four stars each… I like em both A LOT, but I still can’t figure out what the diff is between them!!!
Of the two news weeklies, I’d say that the Mercury is more alternative. But that’s not really sayin much, since the WW is pretty alt itself.
The website is extensive which is sweet — they’ve even got podcasts to download. yeah!
I love the fact that F bombs, and other four letter explatives that your average paper would never use, are common throughout the Mercury.
I love that the Mercury reports and lists local events — not just music, not just art, not just social or sports activities, but ALL of it. They make an entire weekly paper outta whats happening right here within city limits.