FarmVille

#293−2016:
Since we are prohibited from endorsing negative stars in our reviews, the lowest I can assign is a mere 1-​star– review.
I am one of the few lucky ones who never got addicted to this farming (and rather annoying) game. However, in one of my past lives I owned a FB account, notably before I promptly removed said account in order to prevent an abusive X to stalk my social life.
Whilst I was still benefiting from my FB account, I was always pestered by fellow users to help with their crops.
I literally would get bombared on an hourly basis. What was the fuss all about is still a mystery to me. Crops taking forever to get ready, task impossible to achieve without seeking major support from fellow gamers (hence why I would be pestered).
Those who argued that it was a «way to keep in contact with relatives and friends» are surely in need of a prompt intervention.
Luckily this game has worn off even on those heavily addicted and there is a light at the end of their tunnel towards recovery.
As for this lame game, the day you shall be taken our of the Internet will still be a day to 1 million too late.

It was on Facebook, so I know nothing about it. I have never seen it or anyone playing it.
How can I write a review on something I have never experienced? I don’t know, ask the millions of users who do this, including ones who have a title and a badge.
^It is amazing what you read when you have time. See my previous review.
This review made me think of some gangster game that was on MySpace. I can’t remember the name of it without looking it up. For the few months or so I actually had a MySpace page, I remember getting a lot of requests to join someone’s gang or whatever. Never played this either. I hope mentioning this strikes up some nostalgia. Remember clicking on someone’s page and listening to their music list or seeing who was in their «top four.»
^Think of all the people who got pissed or excited to be (or not) in someone’s top four. Oh the pettiness of it all…
Farmville for me goes in the category of «whatever floats your boat.»

I was so hooked on this game back in the day on Facebook.
I used to play this with all my friends and family. It was fun to grow fruit and veggies. Building your own farm was a blast.
Sincerely VD

Great to know that the main criteria for one buy a new laptop from me is to run this dumb ass game.

*** FIVE STARS ***
No, not really…
I wish I could send a virtual nuclear missle to all Farmville farms.
The few times I do look at Facebook, it’s completely full of such useless information such as:
— (insert name) has found a red donkey.
— (insert name) has built a new barn.
— (insert name) has found a golden cock… rooster that is.
— (insert name) has made mad monkey love to her horse.
Okay, maybe not that last one… but they are pretty friggin’ annoying.
Finally turned off all Farmville notifications so my FB and email aren’t clogged up with this useless info…
F you Farmville, F you in the goat a**…

Thank you for helping 70+ million people waste their time with your stupid app on Facebook and contributing to a less productive society.
Wanna give me a job Zynga?!

FarmVille!!!
I am Walter P.
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Jedi Knight.
Defender of the free world.
And last hope for humanity.
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I demand that you release all my family and friends from your mind controlling game.
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* lights up lightsaber *