Get Drunk With the Gimp UYE

Oh boy…
I’ve been trying to keep my Unilocal reviews clean. Really, I have. Unfortunately, these crazy UYEs that you crazy Unilocalers keep organizing make it impossible to do so. Sadly, I could not get drunk with the gimp due to my time constraint there. However, during my short time there, I did get to witness some pretty wild things that my virgin eyes cannot unsee.
During my short stay, I took some crazy pictures that turned me into an inadvertent pornographer. Pictures that, by the way, will never make it onto the internet (would violate many TOS and tarnish too many reputations!). Literally within 30 seconds of my having found the group, I had already seen two sets of breastesus. A second later, there was a big, black strap-​on involved. Then something about the birthday girl putting on a strap-​on and having that strap-​on blown. Something about flashing boobies on top of the bar. And scorpion bowls, of course. Lots and lots of scorpion bowls.
Must I remind you that I was only there for about 15 minutes? I’m so glad that I didn’t bring my frog, Ferdinand, as some other Unilocalers had suggested to go with the tropical theme of Trad’r Sam’s. His little froggy mind would’ve been blown, and not in the same way as that big, black strap-​on may or may not have.
Happy birthday again, Chase S, my crazy/​sexy Unilocal GF! I hope this is your most memorable birthday to date, because if it isn’t, well, then, I’m afraid to hear about it: x

Umm, hopefully the video speaks for itself. Enjoy Unilocalers!

boobs. strap-​on fellatio & copious amounts of alcohol = typical good times with Chase & company…
Chase & Trad’r Sam took my Unilocal cherry in meeting this crowd of debauchery. Little did I know that Sasha (note* Alexandra’s preferred pseudonym vs. «Alex») could bend in those ways while seducing the masses on Geary Street.
That Richmond District fog? It was really the steam lifting off this hot party. As crowded as the bar was, I think it was only the crowd that contained this fiesta from getting totally out of control.
Rock and roll has a birthday. It turned 32 at Trad’r Sam’s

Its was fun. Alexandra almost fell on the table and I grab her arms. Dru looks really cool. Megan flash her boobs to much that other Chinese dudes started to stare even the guy t the door checking ID started to peek over the shoulder. Justin looks sexy too, Umesh, and Chris are cool. Pilar and Angelo are great had fun.

Awesome night. Things I remember
1. Packed enough that my fat ass could only shove my way to the bar at last call.
2. Unilocalers have nice titties.
3. John F is real and sexy
4. Somone came on my shoes.

As always, mad shit went down at Trad’r Sam. I ponder if there’s ever been a night there that could be called mellow? Doubt it, but last night with this crew it certainly wasn’t going to be low key.
I knew what the night held as soon as I showed up. There was a line, it was packed, and I was chatting with bouncer. I was like «wow, lots of people tonight. And I’m here for a birthday thing with lots too, uh oh». His response was «Yea, 4 birthdays tonight actually. One of ‘em has two chicks who informed me they were gonna show their boobs all night». I said «Lemme guess, one brunette and one blond». Yep, I knew it.
Nudity, strap-​ons, worn strap-​on getting blown while up on the bar, people drinking from scorpion bowls like cats (yes you Alexandra). That’s just a few highlights, try not to be too jealous if you weren’t there.
I love a chance to meet people in person I’ve only chatted with through that Unilocal website thing, and this event did just that. If I rattled off all the names from last night it’d be ridiculous, y’all know who you are and I was pleased to meet every single one of you.
Special shout out to the crew that rolled to Cairo Nights afterwards, I love it when people say «screw you» to the idea that fun nights need to wrap up at 2am.
Happy birfday Chase, I hope you enjoyed your night! All I know is if Chase is putting together a party, no matter the occasion, I gots to be there. This is fact.

Why the hell are Dru and Justin the main pic for this event?
Bring out the gimp!!! Oh wait — here I am:
This was seriously the best birthday I have ever had so far in my life. Thanks to everyone who made it such a debaucherous night. Here are a few special shout outs:
*Alexandra who gave me a CD of jams since I will miss Playerz ball
*Sean who offered to be my DD
*Megan who provided entertainment
*Debbie and Jenny for bringing a care pack from Happy Donuts
*The staff at Trad’r Sam’s who let me get naked and put on an impromptu show on the bar.
*Umesh who brought me a strap-​on. I needed a new one and I can’t wait to put this to good use. Best present EVER.
*Justin and Umesh for forcing me to drink more scorpion bowls
*all the East Bay peeps who came across the bridge
The only down side was I have no one to thank for a walk of shame this morning. I did not get a birthday borking. I’m a tad disappointed in you Unilocalers. wtf yo?
It was awesome to meet so many new people — I look forward to more crazy nights with you all fo sho.
peace, love, and good booze ~ chase