Hell in the Armory

I’m late to the game on this one, but after reading so many negative reviews, I feel like I have to get my thoughts out there on this.
I’ve never been to a Hell in the Armory before, so I can’t account for past years. However, the fact that Blackout was behind this year’s show was enough to get me to take the drive up to San Fransisco and see it for myself.
As an fan of the shows Blackout puts on, I found this show to be fantastic. While very different from previous versions, it had all the staples that fans of the show have come to love: complete and utter darkness, disorientation, bags over your head, invasion of personal space, sexualized themes, and more. The fact that this year’s show was based around Dante’s Inferno was a huge plus for the literary nerd in me.
I see a lot of complaints about this year’s show, with people saying it wasn’t like past Halloween events at Hell in the Armory. Well, duh. It’s not supposed to be. Blackout is a completely different type of beast. People went into it not knowing what it was, thinking it would be the same old, same old that they were used to. Blackout hits you on a more personal, visceral level. It’s not meant to be a jump out and scare you type event. It’s a get in your head, put you in uncomfortable situations, and make you think about it for days experience.
The only downside for us was that we went ON Halloween night, quite possibly the busiest night of them all. Between the masquerade ball going on in other parts of the building, and the Armory Security not being the friendliest, it was a bit hectic. That said, we arrived on time for our time slot, waited our turn, and enjoyed the hell out of it. It was hilarious to see other people enter with costumes, and then come out very disheveled.
Again, I really enjoy Blackout’s Hell in the Armory. They did a wonderful job, and I can’t wait to see what they have in store next.

What a bummer. Was very disappointed in the Blackout production of this year’s Hell in the Armory. Production felt limited like they wanted to save money but covering our eyes with a plastic bag for an extended amount of time. They were really rough too. My friend got a nasty rope burn that’s now infected. I just expected it to be as good as last year’s and it was not. Abrupt ending too.

We had a tour window between 7:30 — 8:30. The ticket said, «Please arrive within 30 minutes of the beginning of the hour of the tour you booked to guarantee entry.» We arrived at 750, which is within a half an hour of he beginning of the tour window.
However, a woman at the door told us that it was a 15 minute window and we were too late. I pointed to the email confirmation language, and she said our best bet was to ask for a full refund. While I was waiting outside the armory, disappointed that we couldn’t attend, we saw another group of 5 also turned away for the same reason.
We attended this haunted house last year, and we had to wait around for a while until we could enter. We assumed it would be the same this year, especially after reading the email confirmation. I guess it’s okay to make us wait, but if we’re «late» we’re screwed.
They refunded my tickets without contest, but our night was still ruined. It’s hard to imagine that they didn’t know this would happen with the way the ticketing is set up. They clearly overbook the time periods and bank on people not showing up so that they can make more money.

The comments here are surprising. I usually like to know what kind of show I’m going to when I go to a theatrical event. It seems most of the people reviewing this event had no concept of the production company, Blackout, or the story the show is based on, Dante’s Inferno.
A simple google search will tell you that Blackout is one of the most interesting and unique horror experiences in the country. They specialize in making you feel uncomfortable and explore very dark subject matter, which includes physical elements that push you out of your comfort zone. You are meant to be left with questions and images to think about. If these dark places are not for you, I suggest not going through this event. Additionally, if you’re expecting vampires and clowns, this event is also not for you.
Another simple google search of Inferno will point you to an easily accessible summary of Dante’s Inferno. The complaints of the show having no story are puzzling as every aspect of the production is based on Inferno. Every character, every progression is related to, if not directly, part of the story. The event forces you to think, draw associations, and analyze how the show relates to Dante’s book. Again, this is not your usual haunted house, so this may be too much to ask of many who just want to be chased with a chainsaw. Granted that is fun too, but this is a different beast.
The complaints of the show lacking production value and not using the space to it’s full advantage are also strange. I found the lighting and sound to be startlingly effective and haunting. From the anxiety inducing first room to the haunting walk down a pitch black cavern. Sometimes lighting and set design used minimally are more effective than gaudy overblown creations. There are plenty of haunts you can go to if you want to walk into a room with fake blood sprayed everywhere and an evil doctor operating on someone or a room covered in black light paintings.
This is a long show that asks a lot of its performers and participants. It’s a great value for $ 40. In fact, I loved it so much that I went through twice in the same night. If I could have stayed in San Francisco longer, I would have even gone through again. While this event is not for everyone, if you’re willing to explore a dark area of your psyche this is a one of a kind experience that will haunt you for days afterward.

I drove from LA to experience this show, ended up going through twice in one night! The epic feel of wandering a huge space, encountering and interacting with cool, weird characters, chasing characters and having them constantly surprise you with what they expect you to do — this was a blast!!! Other reviews say there is no theme, but that confuses me since the characters are (somewhat loosely, I admit) tied to the classic tale INFERNO. It is literally the title of the show!!! The characters even quote the text of it during the show… so not sure why some people feel there is no theme or point to the rooms.
The positive influence of Blackout is clear throughout the show. They are never about the shock-​style jump-​scares. (But, hey, you get a few jolts here, for sure!!) This show is about being creeped out and being exposed to things that make you uncomfortable. If that’s claustrophobia or darkness or having your personal space invaded by a very intimidating cast of characters then you will find this an effective get-​under-​your-​skin joyride… if that is NOT what you enjoy in your Halloween haunts, you may have some issues with this particular event.
There are tons of spooky moments where your anticipation of what might be around the next corner will truly mess with your head. The dread you feel at certain points is the reward of such a weird/​creepy show. If you want an actor to jump out of nowhere and scream «BOO!» you are in the wrong place, the scares here come from the atmosphere created and your willingness to let the characters do their thing.
The price is absolutely fair for a lengthy adventure into a dark and creepy world. Go and explore, you may find out a few things about yourself in the process! I highly recommend this show!

I went last weekend to Hell in the Armory with a group of friends and was really disappointed. My girlfriend and I read all of the Unilocal reviews prior to heading to the show, which I’m glad we did because they were spot on. One of the reviews talks about the plastic bag situation — which I really didn’t believe but… they did it. Pretty sure they were actually grocery bags. Wasn’t a fan of that part at all. Basically, this show was mainly just creepy and weird — not worth the $ 40 whatsoever.

Last year was about spooky moments, and scenes that were sexy and a bit scary. This year, there were some interesting parts, but mostly it wasn’t scary or sexy. It was creepy. In the worst way.
Disgusting people will rub on you in a yucky way. I actually felt assaulted. It wasn’t fun. In line, before the show, a normally dressed person played creeper without any indication that they were part of the event. They stood 5 inches from my face and wouldn’t go away until I pushed them. During the tour, someone slapped me in the face. In pitch dark a man pretended to masturbate on the whole group for 30 seconds… A big flabby man with a leather mask and no shirt snatched my hat from my face and tried to make me eat it. When I wouldn’t, he threw my hat across the room. When it was time to leave the room, he found my hat and CHUCKED it straight at my face. I wanted to actually fight.
Another «actor» literally ground dirt into my face. Not exaggeration. Part of the show is someone grinds dirt in your face.
Not fun. Not spooky. I felt like I needed a safe word. WTF.
Last year, 4 stars. This year? Awful.

So we went to this year’s Hell in the Armory, thinking maybe the reviews below were from professional haunted house go-​ers. Unfortunately, the reviews are spot on. Definitely not worth the $ 40 — it was more weird/​creepy than scary. You could definitely tell they didn’t spend much budget on the cast/​visual effects.
I’m a big baby and was dreading going to this, but even I wasn’t scared.

This year hell in the armory was absolutely awful!!! I wasted $ 80 on tickets for my boyfriend and me and the event was not scary or fun. The event was poorly put together and wish this other company has not put this event on. I went to hell in the armory last year in 2014 and I loved it… hope that next year the armory won’t have another company putting on a show.

This review is for the 2015 Hell.
I hate to write a negative review, especially after last year’s Hell was so amazing. But, my friend said it well, «it’s not so much scary as just stressful.»
First, there were safety concerns. Putting plastic bags over someone’s head is a bad idea. Period. Last year they had burlap sacks-​same effects, no danger. At one point, I opened the base of the bag and a performer pushed it back around my neck. Seemed questionable to me. Afterwards, I heard a female attendee say she had been choked twice. I don’t have the context, or know her personally, but heading it grabbed my attention.
Also, there was no safe word this year. The performers were far more touchy than last year, including nipple twisting of attendees. The tripping hazards I can forgive, but running people blind over uneven ground might not be the best idea. Bottom line:. There were a couple places I felt I was in actual physical danger. And not in a good way.
Second, it felt poorly planned. Last year’s Hell went from vignette to vignette, with each having its own little story. This year had no story I could make out, with one exception (no spoiler for those yet to go). Last year had high production values, this year had 3 – 4 sets, and even those had a pretty low production value, again, with two exceptions.
Third, like other commentators noted, there were no lobby, displays, or such as last year.
Overall, if I knew then what I know now, I wouldn’t have spent the time to go let alone the cost. Even if I had free tickets, I wouldn’t go again to this year’s Hell.
The upside was the women at the cost check and store. They were great.
I hope next year’s is better and safe. I might go next year, but probably won’t.

Was very stoked after hearing people who went last year. I read reviews here about this year and thought that people were possibly overreacting… Boy was I wrong.
My expectations were set pretty low but wow. First off you have to wait an hour later than your designated time to actually walk through the haunted house, we were pretty bored by the time we started the experience. The dude that was our first point of contact was a complete douche and made an uncalled for comment to my friend that upset him for the rest of the night. Note he wasn’t an actor, just an asshole with a flashlight.
On to the haunted house that we paid 45 dollars for… Not scary or disturbing at the least bit, no cohesive theme, no creativity, couldn’t see any cool makeup, barely any gore, no surprises, the actors were boring, I was laughing or bored the entire time, and the scenes made no sense at all. Literally when it was over my group of friends was like… Seriously that was it???
SAVE your money, this is lame and they had maybe 15 actors for a GIANT creepy space. It felt so half assed, anyone could have made this up and put this on within a day, this had the potential to be amazing and super scary, but this felt like it was put on by high schoolers or maybe just people who want to take your money.
Go find another haunted house. Skip this one.

After hearing the amazing rave reviews of a few of my friends last year I was so excited to attend this years event.. First thing to note: Vau De Vire did not produce this year’s haunted house and that is possibly the beginning of the most boring hell I have ever been through.
Tons of waiting and standing and waiting and more waiting to basically have your head covered and go through various rooms without any real themes. Yeah a little nudity here and there. My biggest fear was to trip on some uneven surface. There was absolutely nothing frightening about this event, and honestly the Armony is such a PERFECT place for such things I think just walking through the building in the dark would have been more frightening.
I don’t want to ruin it for anyone who already bought tickets, but if you haven’t bought tickets yet… DON’T. The best thing was the soda vending machine for 25 cents a can and the Armony gift store where the hot young lady was demoing some knotting techniques.
A hot mess. Hell should be way more interesting than that.

Okay so last year 2014 was AWESOME! We were so excited and looking forward to this year and to making it a tradition… BUT this year was absolutly horrible and not worth the $ 45! Reading the reviewes saying how much scarier and new production people from LA and New York… seriously NO you guys suck! We will not be taking a 2 hour drive and returning to a this sham you guys call a hunted house. Just alot of standing and walking. Ive been to serveral haunted houses and the low budget $ 10 admissions were better then this… Ugh SO DISAPPOINTED! I feel like my halloween hasent even started

WARNING: The «Inferno» Halloween haunted happening (whatever-​you-​want-​to-​call-​it) at the Armory is absolute rubbish. We were really excited to check it out after our friends told us how much fun they had had last year. Unfortunately this is NOT the same production team behind last year’s Hell in the Armory event which my friends had previously all raved about.
Overall it was dumb, dumb, dumb. Truly worse than a bad horror movie (and I’ll pretty much watch ANY crappy horror movie). Yes, it was worse than «Poltergeist III” – or at least «Exorcist II: The Heretic». Just bad, bad, bad. Worse than bad – a complete bore! When it was over everyone was like «Huh? That’s it?» We felt robbed. It was 30 minutes we will never get back.
Seriously, save your money and stay home and watch «Hellraiser» instead. You can thank me later.

TL;DR Please be advised: This year’s event has nothing to do with the 2014 Hell in the Armory experience. This year it is a very poorly run and produced experience by Blackout. There is nothing enjoyable about this event. Do not waste your money. If you have already purchased tickets, my best advice would be to look into getting a refund.
Last year, I went with a large group of friends, and was greeted by fantastic décor and friendly staff. The staff led us to a place to check our bags and clothing, and ensured that this was a safe, body-​positive establishment, and it would be hot and messy once the tour began. For fun, she had kept a tally of people who had chosen to go in their underwear and/​or completely naked, and encouraged us to strip down to whatever we felt comfortable getting soaked in fake blood. We jumped at the opportunity, and promptly got naked. The production was a combination of sexy and scary, with special effects and actors that were nothing short of amazing. Upon finishing the tour, covered in blood and filled with joy and adrenaline, we were handed a drink ticket for the Armory Bar across the street, and given a rather elaborate photo shoot full of props and excellent photographers, free of charge. I still look at those photos and am reminded of just how wonderful that night was.
This year, we entered the Armory to a completely dark and empty room, with a girl working coat check charging $ 2 per person. Our large group was beyond excited to have another great experience like last year. We undressed quickly, checked our clothes with the coat check girl, and lined up. We waited, and waited, and waited, until a man wearing a headset approached us and proceeded to body shame us and yell at us for our lack of clothing. He asked us just who we thought we were to walk into his show without clothes. We were confused and taken aback, but nicely explained that nudity was encouraged last year. He shouted at us, «Well this isn’t last year! You’re NOT going on this tour. Go put some clothes on. NOW!» This man was not an actor, and this was not part of the show. He did not provide any explanation, he was just 100% mean and degrading to us. He easily could have explained that last year was a different production company altogether, and apologized for any confusion. Our group had paid over $ 400 total for tickets, after all. Words cannot explain how domineering this man was. We were honestly shaken up by the whole experience, and if getting a refund were an option at that point, we absolutely would have gotten one.
Once we left the line, we began walking down the stairs, only to find another line. The mean man in the headset was there, glaring at us yet again. He split us into smaller groups, so we could not enjoy the experience together as we did last year. Then he lined us up against a wall, shined flashlights directly in our eyes and very angrily asked us if we had epilepsy, allergies, etc. Once again, he was not an actor and the show had not yet begun. He was not playing the role of a drill sergeant, he was just a genuinely mean and domineering individual put in charge of managing this event. Once a scene begins, dominate me all you want, but there is no need for that type of attitude before a scene. The show lasted 30 minutes, but didn’t end up starting until 11:30, one hour after the time on our tickets. There was literally nothing sexy about it, and nothing scary. There were no real sets, other than the rooms that Kink already had set up for shoots. We were led down dark hallways and into room after disappointing room. We had plastic grocery bags put over our heads for a moment, and then had them taken off. In several rooms, we were told to get on our knees, and then told to stand up and go to the next room. There were quite a few gross-​out moments, but absolutely zero scary and/​or sexy moments. Had I known this event had nothing to do with last year’s, I would maybe have expected as much, but as it shared the same name, I was looking for sexy + scary, and I received neither. I would give this event zero stars if I could. Bring back the crew who put the show on last year, and I’ll be back. Do not waste your money on this event unless you want to pay $ 40+ just to walk down some dark hallways while being degraded and grossed out.

The scariest part of the night was parking on mission st…
This was a waste of time/​money. Friends of mine who went last year raved about how good it was, so I had high expectations when I bought the tickets. To say the least I was extremely disappointed with my experience. The Armory is such a cool venue alone, i feel like there was so many missed opportunities. All the acts were half brained ideas, with no props, no good acting or any kind of story. They just ruddily drug you from one boring room the the next, most the time trying to blind you from their lack of production with either a shopping bag over your face or thick fog. I am no faint of heart, i wanted the dirty, terrifying, raunchy evening… but all i got was a boring, unimaginative production. If I could, Id ask for my money back.
This is my first review, I don’t usually feel strongly enough to write review on places. But the fact they charged $ 80 for two people and didn’t feel the need to put any effort into their production, I feel the need to pop my review cherry and warn others from making the same mistake i did.

A few things– –apparently last year there was a free drink at the Armory Bar afterwards– there was no free drink in 2015– and the whole event was not an hour– as implied – but about 25 minutes long! I almost thought that our group ran up the stairs to the outside early– and we missed a few rooms, or better yet that the security guards waiting at the entrance at the end was going to be PART of the haunted house, but we really were truly at the end after about 25 minutes.
The event was scary in the sense that there are lots of dark rooms and hallways and you can’t see very well and stuff jumps out at you, but the overall «scenes» were not scary or sexy at all. In some ways it felt like we were in a maze with lots of dirty naked mentally disturbed people that were screaming and ranting and making us get on our knees– but I just felt that it could have been so much better if they relied less on cheap «jumping out at you from the dark» thrills and more creation of creative scenes that we could «watch» and be horrified over, or at least have visions that could not be «unseen» remaining in our minds. There were very few props– and lots of weird religious comments from nuns and hand cleansing.
The armory is such a SCARY place with so many cool rooms like a bar and bedrooms and locker rooms, they could have created much better scenes with more imagination and creativity– think PSYCHO didn’t need gore and even that horrific Centipede movie was not that gross to watch, but the horrors remain in our mind forever– mind messing –we needed more of that!
Overall my friends and I had a cheap thrill that was $ 100 bucks for the three of us. We talked about it so much beforehand and then critiqued and analyzed it so much AFTER, I guess it did give us food for thought but i doubt I will have nightmares or think much about it after tonight.

Awesome! An Adult version of a Haunted House with all the fixings of Zombies, torture, screaming… not to mention Eye’s Wide Shut…
If your into getting your freaky on and having a good time (of course… still have the kid in you is a must) (must be open minded)…this is a must see…
Bring a fun person along for more fun and enjoyment.
This is a limit time production… but I’m sure there will be others
If you’ve never experienced the wild side… this is a good fun event… evening sessions are usually best… prepare to party afterwards.
Caution: After the show… I was covered in blood… face, hand and clothes… but makes it all better for the next Halloween Party!
Enjoy, and Happy Halloween!
Event is for 18+,
ID is checked before entering the establishment.
Oh…Kudo’s to Lanie L.‘s review and tips… Much appreciate it!
Some nudity… If your not comfortable with that…

A one of a kind production, the masters of Kink have turned their enormous haunted castle into an actual haunted attraction you can walk through and enjoy all your Halloween Haunted ghouls in an erotic and sensual kind of way.
Without spoiling the adventure, it is important to note that this isn’t your usual average Haunted House. Instead of walking through darkness and having monsters popping out at you, it’s more of a viewing tour, and it goes with appreciated notice that the creators dived deep in the Halloween bag, playing out every morbid curiosity a human mind has ever thought of.
Morbid Curiosity.
That’s the key phrase here.
You see, Halloween isn’t just about being «scary.» And Kink isn’t just about being «sexy.»
The genre, «Horror,» encompasses every human emotion. From scared, to mortified, to disgusted, to delighted, to confused, to celebratory! Hell in the Armory hit every note. They played with your emotions as one room made you disgusted, the next room made you frozen in curiosity, and the next joyfully dancing around!
One must keep an open mind when taking this tour. That means get rid of any pre-​conceived notions about what this tour is going to be like. Just follow the guide and have fun!
A few tips:
–Arrive early! They are serious about their rules, which they will go over twice-​including their ‘safe word’ they use.
–Buy tickets in advance as they are selling out quick.
–Wear comfortable shoes-​they may get wet. And you’ll get stepped on.
–Wear whatever clothes-​YOU may get wet.
–Don’t be the stupid asshole who laughs because YOU don’t find it ‘scary’ or ‘creative’ or whatever. This is not the time to flex your ego. If you don’t like it, just stay back, stfu, and let others enjoy it!
–Don’t go if naked people offend you.
–Don’t go if you’re not okay with being touched, grabbed, pushed, shoved, yelled at, or slightly insulted. My wrist hurt after the tour…
–Make sure you collect your free drink ticket for The Armory Club after the tour is finished!
Hell in the Armory is proven to be successful, deciphering and tackling Halloween themes in a short 1 hour tour. Amazing actors, scenery, and top-​notch production sets. Obviously, it won’t please everyone or impress everyone, but I believe that it is a breath of fresh air to the stale haunted attractions that pop up every year.

Kink dot com has turned the SF Armory into a HELLoween production. This is NOT really like a typical haunted house, where you walk through and gruesome monsters and other night creatures scare the crap out of you. I can say there wasn’t much «fear» factor involved here. It does have some aspects of a haunted house at the end, but not much and not enough to really scare you.
So what is this? Without giving too much away. This is a tour that leads you in a large group of about 20 people through different production sets that have small productions of sexual, dark, and some what gruesome sets. Typically you enter a room, watch the production, and are told to run out, thought it is hard to run when you have 20 people trying to fit through one single door way.
What did I like about it? Even thought it wasn’t really «scary», this isn’t your tacky cardboard haunted house. The sets are very well produced and the actors are very good. No tacky teenagers chasing you with a chainsaw type acting.
Please note the following: no photos allowed, you may be touched, grabbed, and pushed, and you may get wet.
They do have a small community area prior and after your entrance to hang out, have drinks, and take photos.
It’s around $ 45 a person, a bit pricy for the 60 min tour, but if you are looking for something a little different, then it is worth checking out.