Schaumburg High School

Back when I went here (class of ’89) Dean Spitale used to be my worst enemy. I remember vividly the time he sat there in his mock-​denim suit with orange stitching and lectured me about the danger I created by setting off fireworks in the cafeteria, and how «it can be a volatile situation when there are girls present who may have a lot of hair spray in their hair.» OH MY GOD– talk about preaching to the choir– it was SCHAUMBURG FUCKING HIGHSCHOOL IN 1988– ground zero in all the nation for the giant suburban hair I HATED! As serious as the resulting out-​of-​school suspension and Saturday schools (2 of ‘em!) were, I had trouble holding back the laughter! At least I had a week off to practice Foosball at «the Barn» and Saturday school locker cleaning duty resulted in me getting my first «Schaumburg Saxon Pride Award…» the one I stole from some award-​winning kid’s locker who didn’t turn the dial to lock it! Haha, Schaumburg High School sucked when I went there, and I’m sure it sucks now!

This is the high school I graduated from. This is one amazing high school! Its beautifully kept with great facilities. From the football field to the computer labs — everything is top-​notch. The teachers here are great as well. The students are great here too and very friendly and motivated. All in all, this is a great high school to attend.