Review of Things That Aren’t Businesses Thread

Abstract Unilocaling makes my soul glow.
Break up the tedium, review the world.

I like this one.
It gives power and energy to those of us who pound out perfectly typed reviews of aspects of our lives which matter. Not everything is a business!
Rain, snow, friends, drivers, attitudes, topics of social conern. those matter.
When a reader reads my or anyone else’s reviews and want to know more about the background of the Unilocal reviewer or desires to understand, «why 5?» Or «why 3?»
These reviews can provide context for answering those questions.

The thread was actually pretty good, back in the day.
It had star power and it had staying power and it had the support and enthusiasm of (what felt like) an entire community.
It felt fun, mean, and at times a childhood glee would come over me with the excitement of not knowing what was coming next or who would make me laughsnort out loud. Again. LSOL. Again. Classic.
It helped define an era. Pre-​Things That Aren’t Businesses Thread and Post-​Things That Aren’t Businesses Thread… It became the jeweled chest on the mantle, the thread that all others are measured against.
Still, I miss Melissa.

Why, hello there. Have you ever FUC’ed an Update before?
(Wait a beat)
Do you want to?

Anyone who writes non business reviews is a douche. Not sure what I mean?

This thread review has a strong sense of community… for that…5 STARS BITCHES!

This review thread could sure use a business model.

Nothing to read here… keep moving!
…just a little crowd control!

Look, I’ve seen a lot of things that aren’t businesses in my life.
They come, they go. But they all mean something.
Something deep and special.
The Review of Things That Aren’t Businesses Thread has really changed me as a person.
It’s like I’m looking with new eyes, smelling with a new nose, filtering blood with a new kidney, flying with new wings, voting with a new party, boiling with a new boiling point
I feel like a kid again
Free of the trappings of adulthood. Free of the trappings of legal decision making authority.
The Review of Things That Aren’t Businesses Thread made me realize we don’t have to just love businesses.
We can love each other.
Intimately and often.
And in public.
And graphically.
Public Displays of Affection should be replaced by Public Displays of Passion. Deep and probing passion.
All over the place.
Right now.
Taped for YouTube where it can be tagged and cross referenced.
For this epiphany, I give the Review of Things That Aren’t Businesses Thread Five Stars. And I will give it Five Stars before a court of law, or an orgy of my peers.
Preferably the latter.

Build a raft and float in it!
I’ll sit in my own puddle… whatev.
It’s still water, whether it’s your tears or not I’ll make use of em’.
Jus go with the flow.

They sell shoelaces at Walgreens. Can’t wait till January!

What? I’m not supposed to be reviewing shrubs? (
)

Matt R., I have complimented a list.

The thread entertained me all afternoon. I started to cry when it sank further and further in the threads.
Edit: A big THANK YOU to Diana L. and the rest of the bunch who have taken it upon themselves to keep this thread high and dry.

Zipzap Zubidy Bop!

Have you seen the junk on Things That Aren’t Businesses?
SHA-​ZAM!

The upper level of Unilocal.It’s what make Unilocal Unilocal and not
Sure, you start out with Paseo and some taco truck and maybe some place that you went to on a great date with that hottie from sales and you messed around afterwards because you had a little too much to drink and that person kissed really well, so it was really the WHOLE experience that night that was 5 stars, not JUST the restaurant, but what the hey, that restaurant probably really WAS that good also.
THEN, you get bored with reviewing businesses and start thinking of Unilocal as more of a fun toy, so you start reviewing your new shoes or your cat or something stupid like that.
No harm, no foul.

Look, giving 3pm a one star Unilocal is perfectly sane in my world.
On that notion though, I do need to write a 5 star Unilocal for my favorite day of the week Friday. Goddamn, I loves me some Fridays.

What? So, like 9% of my reviews are bullshit. Wanna fight?
(I hope not because I’m not really a fighter. More a «make a snarky, sarcastic comment then run» lady.)

Okay NOT a business…
~G