Utilikilts

Pants are evil. Consider the facts:
1. Pants are time-​consuming. One leg in, pull up, second leg in, pull up, bring around butt, carefully zip and button. Don’t you have better things to do with your mornings? You could be hitting the snooze button, making out with your significant other, or eating an egg sandwich. Let alone when «opportunity rises» if you get my drift. Efficiency matters, boys — and that’s one advantage of the Utilikilt.
2. Pants are unnatural. Did our ancestors wear pants? Oh, sure, our shmucky great-​great-​grandparents might have, but there’s no way a prehistoric man could run down his meals in the hot Middle Earth sun for 26+ miles at a time plus wearing pants. Utilkilts, however, are much less constraining. And less hot… in the literal sense only.
3. Pants are uncomfortable. Guys are always wearing belts to keep them up, or unbuttoning the top button after a big meal. And men are hairy and sweaty, as a general rule (from what I’ve heard, anyway). Keeping all of that hair and sweat trapped in fabric all day is a recipe for a stinky man by evening — the prime mating time. The Utilikilt bypasses that ick-​factor — and is one step closer to the Utilidress, which surely will fix all belt/​button issues, and be sure to help attract all objects of desire. (That’s what dresses do for me, in any event!)
4. Pants are a cruel construct of the matriarchy, designed to keep men subservient, while women freely move around, far more comfortable and efficient in dresses. This is obviously why females are dominating in grade point averages at high schools and universities across the country, landing more teaching and cocktail waitress positions, and are being laid off less frequently than their male counterparts in this recession. (I’m sure that last one isn’t related AT ALL to women making 75 cents to the dollar to their male counterparts in most industries.) The Utilikilt is one step closer to equality. UNITE, MEN, AND BURN YOUR PANTS!
I’ve made my point. Now, convincing my argyle-​wearing corporate boyfriend to trade his khakis in? That’s a bigger job. I’ll try to get it done before the next Unilocal event, but I’m not making any promises.
Or bets.

I have a natural tendency to visualize what is under a skirt when I see one. Utilikilts really freak my stuff out. For the love of god, please, stop.

No.
Utilikilts are dumb. And all the reasons you list for why you love your Utilikilt are you lying to yourself.
Because deep down you know they’re dumb, too.

Am I lame because I *kinda* think Utilikilts are hot?
You are all probably answering yes, and laughing at me.
But, here is when I think they are hot.
1. Shaved head muscle man would look hot in one.
2. Man in shape.
3. A Scotsman.
Not hot.
1. A man too overweight.
2. A man too skinny.
3 A man who must wear a UK all the time.
So, if you hear me say TYUK… that means, «there’s your Utilikilt» and it’s usually a man in the NOT hot category.
There is something about a man that is comfortable enough to wear a UK that is endearing. Just be hot, that’s all I ask.

I want me a man-​skirt.
That holds how many beer bottles? Pockets that detach?! Fabric that folds in particular manner so you don’t have to cross you legs when you sit? Any designers taking notes for women’s clothes???
My guy purchased one of these bad boys and let me tell you I might have the urge to cross dress one of thes days!

DON’T*!!!
*Oh yeah, all caps, take that Unilocal

Oh my, do I love men in kilts. Specifically, Utilikilts. It’s nice wondering what’s under there!
The staff of Utilikilts are super helpful. We have bought from them twice and both experiences were great. Fast response for email enquiries too.
Guys, don’t be scared to be kilted. Hardbodies and beerguts look great in them if you have the personality to carry it off!
Keep on kiltin’
(just wish I could get one for my three year old son)

Yea… sorry…utilikilts freak the crap out of me and the fact that they have a storefront is just bone chilling.
Men in utility looking kilts marching around raise some serious questions in my mind… it ain’t manly. Its just lame as all hell. Please put some pants on!

I don’t have anything against Utilikilts per se; my problem is more with the hairy, out of shape men that buy these things. There used to be a posse of programmers at work that’d wear these things every day and by the looks of it, or rather smell of it, probably the same one. To compound this, they’d always hang out in the cafeteria… come’ on people… I eat there… I don’t need to see your disgusting, hairy legs while I’m eating!
Utilikilts are the one thing I don’t like about working in a causal work environment.

Utilikilts?
Hairy legs in a skirt?
«Humilikilts» sounds like a much more appropriate name if you ask me.
I give them 2 stars on account of being in support of someone doing there own thing — regardless of the fact that I think it’s down right hideous.

Factoid 1: Men in skirts = hotness
Add a mohwak for extra points. Add some ink and metal and that’s just really sexy.
Factoid 2: Utilikits sells 15 000 kilts per year.
I managed to see one very attractive well dressed man on the street wearing a t-​shirt, a kilt and loafers.
Factoid 3: Kilts can hold eight bottles of beer.
I think I have a school girl crush on men in skirts.
Factoid 4: J Geils is coming out with a modern twist on their old video centerfold with hot hs boys sporting plaid kilts and wripped t’s. It’s not true but it should be and yes that makes me a total perv.

I’d rather sleep on top of a cactus than wear a Utilikilt. In the Top 5 Dumbest Trends I’ve ever seen. Actually, Top 3.
And why is it that every single guy I see wearing one of these looks like The Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons?

Every time the guy I married sees a Utilikilt wearing person he mutters «Dirty Fig McHaggis» just loudly enough to be heard by the offender.
And I can remember what made me marry him in the first place.

I still contend that a Utilikilt looks best when worn by that hanger in your closet.
But if wearing one is an absolute necessity, please consult the Utilikilt owner’s manual on proper accessorizing. Tennis shoes and Utilikilts do not qualify as a match made in Heaven (or anywhere else).
p. s. And all male customers should attend mandatory «How to Sit» lessons. I do not want to have to dig up g.g.‘s «When do you lose your liquid» thread!

Guys. If you want to wear a dress, it’s alright with me. Go ahead and do it. You’re not going to worry or disturb me.
If you want to wear a kilt, wear a kilt. It’s formalwear. You can wear it in place of black tie.
These things though are just pretty retarded. That they’re catching on at all is completely hilarious.
So if you’re gaelic, figure out your tartan, some of those silly assed kneesocks, your baldric and whatever else you’re supposed to have and rock it.
Remember that people in the know don’t mess with men in kilts.
Examples:
They’ll mess you up.
Don’t cop out and wear a pleated sunday man-​dress though. Go oldschool.

Don’t be haters. Coming from points east, I was delighted to see this manifestation of the free spirit of the west coast.
It’s not «what’s wrong with pants,» but rather, «What’s wrong with something new that challenges your highly-​structured system of beliefs?» Live and let kilt.

File under ‘W’ for Whaaaaa?
I am ALL for people expressing their individualistic nature and even more for going commando.
However, I am really against people dressing poorly.
I’ve seen some Celts/​Celt-​like people totally rock the traditional kilt. I have yet to see anyone pull off a Utilikilt with any level of success. But good on them for trying, I guess.

At my last job we had a cafeteria.
At my last job men (yes plural) wore utilikilts.
These two things should never mix.
From anecdotal evidence the correct utilikilt ensemble seems to be:
Hair:
Should either be in a ponytail or shaved. No inbetweens.
Plus plenty of leg, and arm hair showing.
T-​shirt:
White, worn down to what fashionistas call «tissue weight»
Gut:
Protruding through t-​shirt and over utilikilt.
Socks:
White tube (colored bands optional)
Shoes:
Black lace-​up combat boots — cause you gotta be ready to kick some ass if you’re wearing a canvas kilt

New version of slug bug…
Slug utilikilt.
Everytime you see a utilikilt, you punch the nearest person in the arm and shout «UTILIKILT!
You should not have to internalize that shit.

Hang free in the breeze;
But the kilt will hold your tool.
Chafes like hell, I’ll bet.
Minus three stars for being ugly, and one more for that goddamn movie that comes on when you visit their site. Good thing I had my headphones on at work rather than blasting it across the office over a set of speakers.