Satellite Room

This place is tucked away behind the 9:30 club and a little hidden unless you’re looking for it. They have good space inside and an outdoor patio as well. I ordered the steak and eggs as well as a bloody mary except I sub in Gin for vodka. My food was good, nothing exciting but nothing bad. They had some pretty good sweet potato tots. The bloody mary was spicy and tomatoey which really wasn’t my cup of tea, I realized I’m not really a bloody mary fan. They also serve bottomless Wu-«Tang» mimosas, think a cup of tang to 5 bottles of champagne ratio. My only problem was the service on the patio was super slow. They also seemed to be very understaffed. There was one bartender and one barback. It took forever to get a drink order and a food order. It was almost as long a wait for the check to get printed. The bartender was working really hard and did his best but it was very understaffed. I believe he was also training someone else, not great planning by management. Overall it wasn’t a horrible experience, I’d go back if someone invited me and hopefully the speed of service would be a little better.

Disclaimer: If you’re not a wutang fan, this review will probably annoy you. Here it is anyway:
I’ve been here twice now and I must say I am liking it more and more every time. It has a different, young, but also kind of warehouse-​y vibe — especially the outside patio/​bar, but I appreciate it.
Come for brunch and have the unlimited wu-​tangmosas. If you love wutang, then you’ll love that it’s named after them and then you’ll love that it’s only $ 15 for a never-​ending amount of them and then you will LOVE that you didn’t expect them to be as strong as they actually are. It took me a while to realize these are actually tang and champagne. Brilliant.
The food here is not amazing, because of this I can’t give it 5 stars. But it has never disappointed me either. The poutine tots and old bay tots were very good. My croquet madame plus egg was also pretty good. I have yet to try their boozy shakes with the fun names, but I have high hopes for these.
I gave it an extra star because on the first Wednesday of each month, they have Wutang Wednesdays. Wutang themed drink menu and of course, wutang played all night. My calendar is already set for the first Wed in February.
Satellite Room is my boyfriend and I’s little secret and we can’t wait to go back.

Came here for brunch earlier. Cute little place inside and out. I even found out that they have Wu-​Tang Wednesdays lol.
Anyway, decided to go with the Steak and Eggs: Medium Rare, Eggs over Medium. The entrée unfortunately didn’t come with tater tots or breakfast potatoes, but 4 pieces of bread.
The meat was nice in juicey, but full of fat and fibrous :-(I did order a side of tots and did get a hefty portion for $ 3. The eggs were cooked nicely, so can’t complain about those and the bread was really good texas toast, but overall not sure if I would go back for brunch– more for bar fare and late night.

This place is an amazing mixture of hipster, preppy, and gay customers with «old standards» playing in the background from Weezer, Michael Jackson, and other 90s tunes. The customer service is great and laid back like the vibe. This place has incredible food and the fact that they have Radler doesn’t hurt. Tater tots of 7 varieties make this the fat girl heaven that it was intended to be. Highly recommended if you like a good time with a great vibe.

I’m a gen-x’er so maybe I missed the charm, but this place was just as formulaic as any other «dive-​bar-​cum-​yupster» haunt in DC as any. I’ll give them this, we got a table right away even though the bar was crowded.
Long story short… My husband and I both got the fried salt, eeeer I mean the fried chicken. We had the identical meal including tots and green beans. I travel to China regularly and am VERY used to salty food.
I don’t think I’ve had a saltier meal yet. At first I thought it was just my fried chicken but my husband’s was just as bad and he felt that it was even saltier than I did.
I’m not trying to be melodramatic. It’s just that my mouth feels like cotton and I can’t drink enough water at the moment. Surprisingly, the tater tots were the least saltiest item compared to the green beans and the fried chicken.
I was so hungry but now I regret it. I don’t see a next time in my future. Too bad, because the location is great.

This place is quirky and unlike anything else in DC; it reminds me so much of dives in southern VA and for that I love it. Not only does this place have good drinks, but even better it has good eats, especially snacks, which is crucial when you need a stop during the night.
The tater tots menu here is particularly good and a must. The tots pair perfectly with the alcoholic milkshakes– the perfect mix of salty and sweet. Personally I’m a huge fan of the peanut butter milkshake here.
The booths at the back a great and what’s also nice is earlier in the night at least it’s quite enough here to speak and enjoy each other’s company.

Had some time to kill before a show at the 9:30 club. This place is literally around the corner. Great food — came out fast! Was able to grab two beers and some dinner in the 40 min I had before the show started. Would definitely come here again!

I came here to meet up with some friends on Halloween after a house party ended early. This spot is nice. It wasn’t crowded at all. I loved the warehouse feel… like an old loft made into a party place. Pop music playing. Low lights. If it wasn’t so chilly, we would have hung out at the outside bar. (Well, actually, I didn’t realize is there until it was almost time to leave, but it was still chilly out.) The drinks were good. The food was awesome. My friend ordered a bunch of appetizers from the bar menu. (The perks of having a foodie for a best friend,) Definitely a good idea to try them all. The servers could be a little more friendly… not sure if it was due to Halloween or if they’re always cranky. But I’d come back. Nice place to bring a group of friends just wanting to lowkey hang out in DC for the night.

Stopped by for a late night snack and a drink. Highly recommend the boozy milkshake!

This is a great spot to hit up before a show at the 9:30 club. It wasn’t packed and had a cool vibe too. They had alcoholic milkshakes which were great and a nice beer selection as well. The food selection was pretty typical bar fare but everything was executed above and beyond what we expected. Waiter was kind of clueless but we enjoyed our experience overall. We will definitely be back.

Went here after having several rounds of drinks on an empty stomach at one of my favorite places to go year around, Brixton. After 2 margaritas, hookah from another spot and a glass of wine. Food was my next mission, Satellite’s kitchen stays open until 2am and french toast, tater tots and fries was just what I needed. Bartender was efficient and the food was out fast. Satellite serves a good purpose. Perfect.

The Satellite room has potential, but does not execute on it. Not worth a visit unless you are waiting on a show at 9:30 club.
Food:
Reality – Meh. Everything is a bit overcooked or undercooked. All dishes are so simple I feel I could make them better in my apartment.
The potential – Well executed, greasy american diner food. The tots and the boozy milkshakes could be known city-​wide if there was a little more focus on fine-​tuning them
Drink:
Reality – Meh. Decent if slightly overpriced but nothing special at all. Tries to have a grab bag of everything so its impossible to do any drink or
Potential – Get a focus. Are you going to be a dive bar? whiskey bar? Have great beers on tap?
Environment:
The quirky décor is the best part of the bar. No real complaints here. However, the eating area is seldom used and could be cleared out a bit to accommodate the bar crowd if you are not going to focus on making quality food.

Above average restaurant!
The service was good. Prices are reasonable (between 9 and 16 doll for the meals).
The place is nice and has nice decoration. I didn’t go on the terrace but it also looks pretty nice.
Food was a bit of a disappointment though (meals were not fresh and not tasty).
I would maybe go back but only for drinks.

I read a lot of negative reviews before I went to this place. Let me just say to the haters, expecting to be doted on in a bar is never a good mindset to be in. I liked this place, went in in a ‘drinks and totts’ kind of mood and couldn’t have left happier. I had the poutine totts (I feel like they should call them «tottine» but hey, I didn’t write the menu) and even drenched in gravy and cheese curds, those little mouth-​plugs were the crispiest golden brown totts I ever did have. They have tall cans, and beers on tap, and quick shout-​out to the bartenders working that night for the shots! I definitely felt those in the morning amidst my tott-​layer. Sure, they have boozy-​milkshakes too, but that is always a dairy disaster-​stay away.
The retro mid-​century feel of this place really did it for me, and I noticed that they show movies occasionally on their screen in the patio. Lovely! Beats the gop that was showing on the screen when I was there. Donald debating really facilitates excessive libations.
I’m coming back here some Sunday very soon for the Wu-​tang brunch… it’s bottomless champagne with tang. Because why would you want anything else. Wednesday night is also Wu-​tang night. Great way to break up your boring work week. Thank you Satellite Room.

Great bar and bar food. They pour heavy glasses of wine which is awesome. Love the setting and going to 9:30 club so this place is one of my favorites.

Even though I have been going to shows at the 930 Club for years, I surprisingly had never been to Satellite Room until this past weekend. I will be rectifying that situation hopefully for years to come.
A few Saturday nights ago I braved the blustery snowfall, avoided Über surcharges that would have made my trip the cost of a fancy night out, and trekked my way over to meet a friend at Satellite Room. She wanted a place that we could grab a meal, a few drinks, and be close to other U Street action. This hit the nail on the head. Because of the aforementioned extreme conditions outside, the place was only about half full.
My friend was craving something homecooked, and I had eaten a few hours previously, so she went with the meatloaf and I stuck with some tater tots. A word about the tots: they are seriously delicious and seriously big. Tots are my favorite potato preparation so I was in heaven, but just know this is not for the faint of heart. Be prepared for that tot coma. My friend enjoyed her meatloaf, and having a choice of 2 sides was much appreciated. We didn’t try the boozy shakes, but all around us they were being devoured and we were mighty jealous.
Overall, Satellite Room is a chill place to have some drinks and line your stomach with tasty food before a night of music bopping or bar hopping. I would love to come back for brunch and boozy shakes.

Went here with a friend the other night. Apparently this place gets a lot of its clientele because of its proximity to the 9.30 club.
The ambiance is much like any other american bar, if a little more old. However, service was nice and they have one of my favorite beer brands, Carlsberg, on tap (hence i might be a bit biased). The burgers we ordered were pretty good, and the tots that came with the burgers were awesome.
Overall, pretty good place to eat/​drink if you’re at the 9.30 club for a show, but not something I’d drive all the way for.

A hidden gem with the perfect menu.
If you are a breakfast aficionado you will hands-​down love the Satellite Room. Not only do they serve breakfast all day they also have boozy milkshakes! To me, the Satellite Room is the hipster version of Ted’s Bulletin.
If you love Ted’s but don’t want to wait in line for hours on end, head over to Satellite Room. The staff is chill and down to earth, the food gets the job done and the atmosphere is unlike any other. Personally, the exposed bricks, the outdoor «patio» and the artwork gets me.
Keep in mind this place is good for a casual happy hour, breakfast and even a late night adventure. I will mention the food isn’t awful, but there are certainly better options around the corner.
Sometimes you need that dive-​bar feel when you are in the U street area, and The Satellite Room will fulfill that craving.

We took some out of town friends to Satellite Room for brunch on a Sunday morning. We were on a quest for bottomless mimosas and the famous Wu-​Tang Mosas fit the bill. We were promptly seated at a corner table and the chaos then ensued. We had a group of 4 and we all decided to partake in the bottomless special. The waitress was very nice and kept our glasses full throughout the morning. The food was also delicious and we ordered a mix of brunch items and lunch items. All the food was delicious but I remember the tatter tots especially standing out.
Now, the rest of this review is through NO fault of the restaurant itself. I am a huge fan of this place, I am just not a fan of myself for my thirst! If I were to go again, I would avoid the bottomless wu tang Mosas. They left me in a world of hurt by 4pm Sunday evening. However, this was my own fault as I should have stopped after having just a few! The sugar from the tang and the champagne led to the worst headache I have had EVER! And this was at 4pm. If I were to return I think I would stick to the boozy shakes which I have heard are really good as would probably force me to limit the amount I consume!
All in all, Satellite room is lovely for brunch. The food, the service, and the ambiance are all great.

We had brunch here and it was fine. The big perk is that it’s not crowded unlike basically everything else in the area. So, not a bad place but nothing fancy or special.
The girls with me thought the waiter was hot… So there’s that.