The Woodpecker

Yuk, yuk, yuk.
This has got to be the dirtiest pub in the whole of Birmingham and the most revolting aspect about it is the staff simply do not care!
I used to go in here when I was a kid because they have never really cared about age laws as long as they’re getting the money, but hadn’t visited for years when me and my fella popped in for a quick drink the other day as we were early for an appointment.
The first thing that hit me as I walked in was the smell of dirty toilets, not as an overwhelming smell but as an undercurrent to the very stale air in The Woodpecker. It was enough to make me want to turn and leave if I’m honest, but we decided to have one drink and take it outside into the fresh air.
This is where the problems began. My partner ordered a pint and I had a Malibu and Coke, the sullen woman behind the bar looked a bit peeved that we’d disturbed her from reading The Sun and banged her way around getting our drinks. As soon as I went outside I noticed my glass was filthy and I don’t mean they’d missed a smear of lipstick, it looked like it hadn’t been washed for a week and was almost opaque with grime. Straight back in to complain, the woman huffed and puffed and then grabbed another glass and instead of pouring me a fresh drink simply dumped the Malibu from my dirty glass into the ‘clean’ one.
Outside I noticed this one was equally dirty so this time sent my fella in with the instructions to ask her to pour me a fresh one this time. I was outside having a cigarette but he came back out absolutely fuming and said the woman had taken one look at the glass and said it was perfectly clean. Oh yes, but he’d then showed her the film of grease which was forming on the top of my drink — she still thought this was fine but as a ‘goodwill gesture’ poured me a fresh one into a marginally cleaner glass. Goodwill gesture, it’s hardly a goodwill gesture to actually get your job right in the first place is it???
Anyway, the thought of the lack of hygiene in the pub totally put me off my drink so I poured in down the drain outside (poured it away as I didn’t want the grubby staff to attempt passing it off to someone else!). My fella said his pint was ‘alright’ but didn’t go in for anothe which kind of says it all really!
While walking through the pub to the (revoltingly filthy) ladies toilet I noticed The Woodpecker serves food. Personally I’d rather pull out my own fingernails than eat in a dirty pub like this so didn’t spend much time looking at the menu other than a cursory glance while waiting at the bar to get my drink changed.
If dysentry is your cup of tea then you can get a meal in here for around £3.99, or sandwiches and crisps are available cheaper.
Never again!