Oriental Buffet Restaurant

I attended the worst restaurant ever for my friends 25^th birthday. We were actually supposed to be going somewhere else but for some reason that was cancelled and this was a last minute resort.
Last resort INDEEEEEEEEEEED.
When a party of 15 calls a restaurant on a Friday night for a table the following Saturday night, and they respond, Yes, no problem, we have more than enough room. something is suspiciously wrong. When we arrived at approx 8pm the place was deserted. We were sat down and given a plate to begin our ‘all you can eat’. Honestly, i will eat anything, but when i go out i expect something a little bit special. I have lived in China, so i was surprised in the buffet area to see trays of chips, sausage rolls, sausages fried in batter, pork pies and other such delicacies bought from the adjacent M&S frozen section, It’s not bad this is it! said our birthday friend, No. we lied.
Then the worst hen party ever walked in, most of them looking like they were retired boxers and others were clearly there because they heard it was ‘all you can eat’ and the prospect of infinite eating shouted over any other thoughts running through their minds, such as ‘shower’.
Then came the best part. We had arranged a special birthday surprise in the form of a secret cake and the good old ‘Happy Birthday to you’ on the speaker system. With most people feeling ill the response wasn’t as enthusiastic as it could have been, but when the cake arrived our spirits returned. It was the funniest thing ever. It looked like someone had cut a chunk out of the old sofa in the back and painted it brown.
In conclusion this place is hilariously inadequate. But unless word spreads quickly then the words ‘all you can eat chinese buffet’ will have people coming for a while.