Hispaniola

I’m at a bit of a loss as to what to say here. A couple of years ago, we vowed never to visit the Italian restaurant, Ciao Roma, ever again, after staff gave us a bill for 4 people when there were only two us us. «Sorry — we thought the people at the next table were with you». Err… no. There ain’t nobody here but us chickens. And they brought an amended bill, which was also wrong. Two strikes and you’re out.
Anyhow, this is Hispaniola. It’s owned by the same people who have Ciao Roma, but — hey — we’re always happy to try somewhere new. And it’s a different restaurant, right? The outside of the building is very grand. It’s the old Rutherford’s Bar. It was a cold night when we visited. The waitress showed us an empty restaurant, asking us where we’d like to sit. We noticed steps to a downstairs area which looked a bit busier and warmer, and chose to sit down there, away from the draught.
The food was very pedestrian. We ate tapas-​style. The Patatas Bravas was described on the menu as spicy, though it wasn’t, but had a non-​spicy pizza-​style tomato sauce. The Chorizo was basically a bowl of soup with some little pieces of chorizo at the bottom. Pollo Funghi Crema was chicken in a fairly bland, mushroom-​soup style sauce. The Beef Meat Balls were quite tasty, so I’ll give them a plus point. And the Tortilla was a potato and onion omelette which was OK, but it too had a dollop of the ubiquitous tomato sauce again. Handy stuff, that sauce. It was almost as if there were no spices or herbs used in the cooking. If there were, they need to use much more. I don’t do bland well.
We had ourselves a wee chuckle at the hand-​written blackboard, which had haggis listed under «Fish». The staff were nice — no complaints about them at all. And the bill was absolutely spot on. As we got ready to leave, we noticed a door on this downstairs level. We asked the waitress where this mysterious exit led. «South Clerk Street», she said. That was handy for us! As we walked out, things started to look a little familiar.
…and we walked out of Ciao Roma’s front door, into the night. We’d been had.

This place is hilarious. From the outside, it looks like smeone was filming a western here a while ago and left some of the scenery behind. The fact that it used to be a really dodgy pub full of old men doesn’t do much to dispel that image either.
Now though, it’s the newest member of the Ciao Roma family. As the name suggests, there’s plenty of pirate memorabilia and fake (I hope) muskets adorning the walls. Apparently, according to my waiter it’s because the dodgy old man’s pub had been a favourite watering hole of Robert Louis Stevenson’s, so the theme is Treasure Island-​inspired.
As tacky as it sounds, and to a certain extent is, the food is really good. I tried their Set Lunch menu, which offered 2 courses for £8.90 or 3 for £11.90, although I only opted for 2 as I’m not a huge dessert person.
My starter was gorgeous. Although there were loads of things on the menu that were quite predictable and boring (Minestrone Soup, Pâté Della Casa etc) I’d never tried Olive Crostini like theirs. It came with a lovely balsamic dressing, plenty of rocket and olive paté as well as the actual fried herb/​olive mix that was already on top of the bread. Similarly, there was only one main course that I didn’t instantly recognise and so I went for that one. Whilst I’d never have thought of putting egg white, lemon and onions into a bechamel sauce and serving it over pasta, I can tell you that it is in fact a gorgeous combination. The pasta was home-​made too, which meant it was cooked for just the right amount of time.
I can imagine that if you ate here regularly you’d grow very tired of the whole themed idea, but for a one-​off it’s worth a visit.