Namco Funscape

Namco Funscape sits within the Yellow Mall of intu Metrocentre — it’s brilliant! Takes you back to those awkward teen years when you still couldn’t quite go into the pub without it being bloomin’ obvious you were nowhere near old enough (kids, just don’t do it) and needed somewhere to entertain you and your mates.
There’s loads to do to while away some time, it’s got penny arcades, dodgems, those funny machines where you dance on the floorpads in (or out) time to some god-​awful Europop tune, air-​hockey, pool tables, a bar and (my personal fave) ten-​pin bowling. Which is where this review now ventures.
Now, I like bowling and Newcastle has a few bowling alleys dotted around, sadly the XS up at Longbenton is no more and there’s still one in Fenham which looks like it has seen better days. Lane7 is good if you’re after swish U-​S-​of-​A style atmosphere, but it’s string bowling (pins dangle on strings) which just ain’t quite the same.
So, if you’re after that authentic bowling experience, I’d recommend you head over to Namco. 18 lanes of proper bowling fun, 8 of which are partitioned off into ‘The Lounge’, you can now bowl in your own shoes (flat soled only, sorry ladies) which is a slightly bizarre experience, but one you get used to. They still have a stock of actual bowling shoes, just in case.
It’s always very well maintained here, the balls are returned to the racks in size order so you’re not taking ages hunting for the right weight, the lanes are in great condition and (so far) I’ve never had the pin-​setter go wonky and breakdown. You also get lane service for drinks, keeps you nicely refreshed as you chalk up another strike.
Some great offers to be had, such as on Wednesday and Sunday evenings when you can get 3 games for £6 (after 6pm). So pull on those retro shirts and pants, get yourself down and prove that you’re ‘The Dude’ or ‘Kingpin’ after all.