Bangkok Bay

We had to change our dinner reservation to order a takeaway instead (i had a back injury) for a celebratory meal and they happily obliged and were very quick even gave me an extra pot of cut chillies on the side. The food was delicious! Just so incredibly authentic and real thai food!!! The seafood rice and the pad thai were so delicious with plenty of seafood in the portion. Will definitely be ordering or going there again.

Anglo-​Thai run of the mill food in a very wackily decorated room by some entrepreneurs with some very wacky side ideas.
Never mind how many chilis appear on the menu — none will actually appear in your dish.
A sizzling beef with vegetables was the requisite beef on a hot metal platter with cut up standard vegetables and a pleasant but indistinct mild soy based sauce. It would have been better if the rice had not been delivered two minutes later, so the food could have been eaten hot … but as it was it was adequate enough.
My companion had a tofu and vegetables in another brownish indistinct sauce. To me, the tofu tasted of stale frying oil — but my companion thought it was all right.
The room and the ambience is nutso patooteys — which is kind of a plus.
They play French folk fusion accordion music in the background — which I think is fantastic.
The decoration consists of a variety of colored glass illuminated Buddha heads, an excellent full wall wallpaper illustration of a painted Thai village filled with playing children parents and farm animals all on a sea full of boats. There are large model boats. There is a massive photograph of someone diving off the high board into a very full swimming pool in Thailand ca 1965. There are ultrabright technicolor lampshades, a dragon’s head and about eighteen other very vivid very strong decorator touches.
The room does not hang together and the look does not even remotely cohere — but it is certainly something to see.
They also want to sell you wine. Make that they are desperate to sell you wine.
There are all sorts of boards on the wall asking you to buy bottles of wine. There is a cardboard offer on the table asking you to join the Battersea Bay Wine Club. There is a survey you can fill out of what kind of wine do you like? (Red white rose or sparkling?) What brand of wine would you like to see them buy? The server asks if you would like to buy some wine.
To my mind — wine and Anglo-​Thai food go together about as much as
tequila shots and chocolate ice cream — but then the French accordion music doesnt go with Thai food either but it is definitely okay.
If only the food were better …

Good food, good service. Some starter portions were much larger than others, but we compromised by sharing so that no one person was over-​full before mains arrived.
We went for dinner on Christmas Eve, and they had no lamb available (presumably to avoid food waste with being closed Christmas Day) but they readily agreed to make me a massaman curry with beef instead.
Friendly, welcoming staff — we will definitely be going back.