Beach Blanket Babylon

Way too loud to eat: Don’t go there to eat after 9 p. m as music is way too loud. We were a group of 8 and I could barely talk to the person in front of me.
Food was good
Service was OK

Yeahhhh I’m super mixed about this place. On one hand, the atmosphere and vibe is awesome, and the drinks are pretty good, but the prices are pretty egregious, the food is average, and it might actually be faster to fly to Paris than to take the tube all the way to Shoreditch from Westminster.
If you’re coming to the area anyway, I’d recommend coming here for one drink to take in the atmosphere and «be seen» (I’m so LA right now…), but then get out and head to somewhere else for the rest of the night so you can afford your rent. Danger of Death is so close!
Food: ³⁄₅
Value: ²⁄₅
Service: ⁴⁄₅
Atmosphere: ⁵⁄₅

Such bad ratings… and mine isnt going to be much better!
Guy on the door was nice, let us in despite not having a bevy of beauties with us.
But, service was pretty slow, cocktail despite a lovely £10(!!!) wasn’t very good and then there was some silliness about not letting people downstairs.
When I eventually got downstairs, service was just as bad, though i will say that the lady who did serve us, did actually stay and chat to me while I drank my £10 drink.
On the plus side (there is a plus side — hence the 2 stars!) I did find the music was great and sufficiently old school meaning I found myself being dragged back to the dancefloor a couple of times.
Multitude of Essex girls aside, I dinna see myself coming back here.

Pretty rubbish bar… I turned up one time, not being drunk at all, they weren’t busy, I was with one other (male) friend, and they said they wouldn’t let us in because I was dressed appropriately: shoes, jeans, shirt, jacket. Hmmmm. I showed them that the people they already had in there were wearing worse than me. They then changed their answer to «you don’t have girls with you»… Sigh.

This was my second visit here and I have to see both my experience and the company I was keeping were a vast improvement.
During my first visit I thought the service was pretty slow and also the drinks were ridiculously priced for what it was. Luckily this time when I arrived it was during happy hour which was a pleasant surprise. The bartender explained what the deal was and we decided on 2 cocktails and a snack from the bar menu for the princely sum of £15.
The tempura jumbo prawns were good and there were 5 good sized prawns in the portion although the accompanying sauces were a little bit uninspiring. The 2 cocktails we got were pretty much a hit and an almost. We both went for a rum option and they packed a punch. The Walk in Shoreditch is the one I would recommend. The only reason we didn’t work our way through the menu was because we had a dinner reservation we had to get to otherwise my memory of the drinks may have been a little bit more hazy!
The service was absolutely fantastic with our bartender chatty and knowledgeable even though she was a little bit rushed. The whole establishment is maybe a little pretentious however nothing that hindered my night either time.
Overall I’d say it was well worth a trip during happy hour however maybe best avoided outside of those times.

My first ever one star review, I have been saving it for an exceptionally terrible experience. I once discussed this with someone and I explained that for me somewhere would need to be a number of things wrong with a place and also bad service that was clearly not limited to only one staff member for it to merit my one star review. And in this respect beach blanket Babylon sure delivered. Some of the lovely Unilocalers I was with have already reviewed the place and outlined the poor service from the outset, the unappetising and unsatisfying food which was overpriced — I have never had whitebait before and this may have put me off trying it again but it was the mash that was most upsetting! For me there is usually good mash or great mash, I have never come across the bad type before! I am still amazed at how it was possible to make such a simple dish so badly, it was watery! The portions were extremely stingy also (although somehow we still left food I think and we were all sharing– and hungry-​I think that says something right there).
The drinks for me were the only non terrible part of the experience (other than the exceptional company but that has no bearing on the review!) but they were only ok not great and overpriced.
The service however surpassed my expectations of what is needed for a one star review. Not only was every staff member we came across equally as unhelpful as the next, they also came across as disdainful towards us from the moment we arrived (was it my Christmas jumper do you think?) and very, very slow considering that they were not full and that they wanted us to leave as soon as we sat down. I do understand that more and more places are offering time limited places and am happy to be made aware of this, but not this many times! They would come over just to tell us that we needed to leave but when we used that opportunity to order something they would disappear. I was even wearing a watch and can remember things like my own name and so I feel that being told this many times that we only had 2 hours at the table is unnecessary. It didn’t help that 3 separate staff members were all coming over to tell us just this (and rarely with anything that we had ordered in their hands).
The cherry on the cake of this experience was the fact that when we saw the 15% service charge on the bill some of us felt that not paying it may be an opportunity to let them know that the service had been substandard, the staff member taking payment didn’t seem to understand the optional element of this and so it became awkward and I don’t remember if everyone did but I ended up paying mine to make it easier. I know I could have probably stood my ground but not only did it become awkward I also reasoned that it was a small price to pay to be able to leave.
I am glad that we came here, I now know that I never want to come again. I now appreciate the great places that we went before and afterwards that much more. And I realised that it is possible for me– the type of person who is always looking for the positives to actually have a true one star review worthy experience.

This is probably one of the worst places I’ve been to in London. If it was possible to give it a zero star review, I would!
The service is offensive. Within a few moments of our arriving we were told when we had to leave — we hadn’t even ordered yet! They proceeded to remind us when we were leaving 2 more times over the following hour and a half — we left early we were so disgusted by the attitude of the serving staff.
The place is tacky and pretentious and the staff are condescending and uncouth!
They pitch themselves as a high-​end venue. It most certainly is not!
They seated us a a ridiculously large table and didn’t bother to pull it out to ensure we were comfortably seated. My legs were wedged up against the table leg — very uncomfortable.
The cocktails are overpriced and mediocre, the risotto I had was undercooked and the waiter had the audacity and rudeness to take out his iphone when we were paying the bill, deducting each persons payment from the total amount — in front of us!!! It was at this point we refused to pay the service charge.
I will never go here again and I would not recommend it to anyone.

Came along for a quick drink before dinner as was pleasantly surprised. We sat at the bar and service was friendly and prompt. BBB host a varied cocktail list, as well as the classics and have a £15 happy hour where you can get 2 x £11 cocktails as well as a bar snack. We opted for the shrimp which came fresh from the fryer — crispy on the outside juicy on the inside — a real treat and absolute bargain! Cocktails were rather sweet for my liking but boozy enough and we intend to visit again. Worth a go if you out and about in Shoreditch/​Bricklane.

Amateur hour on new years. Over booked clearly and seating was delayed over an hour… when asked for some sort of compensation (a free drink would help) considering the restaurants incompetence ruined our new years, we were given nothing. I understand special events can be stressful and booking mistakes can be made, but having management that doesn’t try to improve the situation is inexcusable.

This is probably one of the worst places in London. We came in with a six pm reservation on a Saturday night. The guy at the desk took off for awhile. Not sure why. But we were shown our seats.
Where we were told that we only had the table for two hours. We were like, it won’t be a problem, thanks. We ordered drinks. I asked for the least sweet cocktail on the menu. The waiter then proceeds to point out every cocktail that has sugar as an added ingredient. Moron.
So we weren’t dressed like we were some sort of TOWIE rejects with matching hair, orange skin and clothes. And that means we’re horrible people who deserve bad service at a place like this. The food was also mediocre at best. We only ordered snacks, but we had some oily fried whitebait, some pretty boring chips and truffle mash. It was probably the worst mash I ever had. It was like someone just mashed potatoes with a little bit of truffle oil. No cream. No butter. And they were grainy. Who thinks grainy mash should leave the kitchen?
Then to top it all off, we were reminded we only had an hour left of our table. At this point I wanted to tell the waiter to F-​off. But instead we just decided to leave. And then had a 15% service charge added to the bill. Yep they add 15% here. For some of the worst service in London.
Oh, and apparently they feel the need to feel posh by putting an attendant in the bathroom that I’m supposed to pay to get my paper hand towel? When the guy is just sitting in there reading a book? I don’t think so. On top of it all, it seemed like the guy in toilet was the only black employee they had. Hooray for racism!

This place is actually vile. It’s as if Shoreditch recognized that all these Essex people were pouring onto its streets on a Saturday night and they had no place to house them for dinner. POOF! Beach Blanket Babylon was cloned out of a place in west London and plonked down here. Why do I say cloned? Because it is such a try hard ‘fancy’ place which is completely out of sync with its surroundings. It’s straight out of an episode of TOWIE. Imagine high ceilings with gilt and oversized mirrors everywhere. ‘Glamorous’ soft furnishings and people in the toilets to hand you paper towels and expect a quid in return.
We were sat next to a table of identically overly made up blondes in all the same dresses and hair. It was laughably absurd. The whole place is. So so trying to be west London in east London down to the pornstar martinis on the menu. The reason I say trying to be fancy is because it just isn’t, the drinks are bad and if you wanted to throw £100 down somewhere in this part of town, there are places with real bartenders making amazing cocktails.
The menu is exactly what someone sat down and dreamed up as ‘fancy’ but got it all wrong. A tumblr of prawns for £13, which turned out to only have 3 prawns. Shoestring fries which they told us actually were just chips. Chateaubriand and lobster for £95. For the love of god, who would come here for a steak?
We ordered a bunch of sides and they were just dire. Overcooked chips, undercooked truffle mash and whitebait which I am still tasting in my mouth. Bleagh! They give you bread with that, which is why I’ve given them one star.
The cocktail menu was fine, very uninspired but not too overpriced at £9.50 a pop. I had a mango and gin slim, but was basically just mango. Andrew had what he called the worst old fashioned of his life.
The worst part of this whole place is the rude, entitled service staff. Our waiter was incredibly rude and kept reminding us we only had the place for two hours, that we were already late, not enough of our party was there and then came by later to tell us we had an hour left. The waitresses serving the table were also extremely rude, slamming down plates and dragging them away from us. All this and they automatically charge 15% service.
Do not go here.

During our stroll through Shoreditch we stopped in to BBB. This place used to be alright but something has happened here which has lowered it. I think I know what that might be…
–Hipsters
–Overpriced, weak drinks
–Worn furniture, yeah, some of the upholstery and backings are ripping from the chairs
–Patrons rocking up in their gruppiest attire
What a shame, used to be a glam place and seems they are struggling to maintain that.

After a few months of silence, we are finally able to speak out (online) that this has been our worst London-​experience. Probably our worst life-​experience.
You can read the review below this one (Joy L.) for the details, but basically my girlfriend got glassed in her eye here in December. Besides the fact that no CCTV was available on the basement floor (with such a crowded dark place, I might understand why this would be quite useless), it was the complete lack of professionalism, competence and help you would expect from a place like this. The bouncers and manager did not question anybody, did not take any details from the people who saw the person who did this (although in all the panic we requested that from them), did not call the police, did not file this case … They even just put us in the cold stairway while awaiting the ambulance without any aid.
My girlfriend’s sight and eye is damaged for the rest of her life and although they could not have prevented that, they were completely inadequate to handle this situation in any professional and helpful way. Because of them, we’ll never know who did this and can never ask for any compensation.

I had a very serious incident here last December (right before the holidays) where a girl slammed glass into my left eye for no reason whatsoever. After two major operations, I was hospitalised for several days and was forced to take a month off work. This injury is life-​long permanent damage. I will never fully recover my eyesight and will need more operations in the future.
This place deserves no stars because they was grossly negligent and completely incompetent for reasons we can only assume to protect their own license: they did not report the injury to the police, let the perpetrator and witness go, asked my friend that night to sign a waiver of responsibility, and claimed that I perpetrated an ‘attack’ that led to ‘my own injury.‘
Thank you for ruining my sight and for dismissing all responsibility. I will now never find justice because of you. You are terrible, terrible people.
(And finally to the girl who did this to me, thank you so much for running away. Good luck to your moraless life and I hope everyday karma will hit you back)

While I liked the décor and the amazing happy hour cocktails –it’s the incredibly slow and negligent service that dominates my negative view.
We came in on a late saturday or sunday afternoon for some drinks and sat in the cocktail area at the hostesses recommendation. 100% ignored, 100% neglected. = 100% annoyed. We had to chase down servers for a drink every round (as the bartenders directed us to the servers but no servers to be found!). Probably 20 minutes of waiting to receive each round of drinks. The place wasn’t packed but wasn’t dead either — at lease 30 other patrons in the cocktail/​bar area. Needless to say I could only tolerate two rounds. Paying the bill was then also an issue. Finally I went to the host stand to try and pay after waiting more than 20 minutes after asking for the tab from a server. I was not far from just walking out without paying considering they clearly couldn’t have cared to help me get the bill paid!
Sour taste in my mouth — on principal i’ll never go back.

Beach Blanket Babylon is such a beautiful place. It has a touch of fancyness and it is cool and young at the sam time. It is also a good place to spot handsome managers, barmen and waiters, I should also mention.
During the week, you will find a calm, fancy and relaxing restaurant, with a good range of wines and delicious options of cocktails, try their speciality, «Porn Star Martini» or be more adventurous and try the «Lychee and Chilli Martini».
Friday and Saturday you will probably get tangled with someone trying to reach the cocktail bar upstairs, as it gets packed. But you also have the option to go downstairs and grab your «Porn Star Martini» from the bar and go straight to the dance floor!

We had an office dinner here on a recent Friday night. I arrived about 30 minutes late, but it was ok because I didn’t have to wait as long as everyone else did for their starter and first drinks.
My colleagues ordered drinks upon being seated and it took 45 minutes before anyone received a single drop. Let me say that a little louder for the kids in the back.
FORTY-​FIVE MINUTES FOR A COCKTAIL TO ARRIVE AT THE TABLE.
I was blown away. Dumbfounded. Shocked. Puzzled. Bemused, betrayed, bewildered. All of the above.
My food was ok, but a 30 – 40 minute interval between each course left me wanting more. I specifically ordered my salmon cooked rare and received cat food. Overall, I just had this immense feeling of «meh». Had I been the one paying for it, I would have been angry. Additionally, they separated our group of 20 into two tables and luckily my table wasn’t the one that didn’t get any food for another hour after receiving cocktails. :/​
Then, around 11pm, the lights dimmed and they turned on these awful club-​esque strobe lights and started playing really bad pop music. And then I left.
Because there’s so many cool places to check out in this area, I won’t be back. But I would like to leave on one positive note: the décor (strobe lights not included) is pretty damn cute.

With an impressive décor, this seemed like the perfect spot for a recovery brunch. I loved the antique decorations, like the massive clock, or the street lamp on the inside of the building.
It’s a good thing that the food was good and the prices weren’t extortionate, because the service failed utterly.
It was only the positives in regards to atmosphere and food that saved me from marking less than 3 stars. I could understand if it was busy, but there were more staff than there were customers.
The one nice thing I can say about the staff is that they were dressed very smartly.

Brunch is not really a «thing» here. So, whenever I see it advertised on a blackboard outside a restaurant… I get a little excited.
Plus, no one else really goes to «brunch» so it’s not ever really too crowded (unless you are trying to go have an American brunch at Breakfast Club, where it is really crowded… some things just go together!) — which always satisfies me as I detest waiting, and love coffee immediately.
We popped into BBB for B on a Sunday morning before lolling about Shoreditch. It’s a big space, and surely has quite a vibrant night scene… but during the day they flip the lights on and grab a juicer and we’ve got some brunch going on. And it’s a pretty suitable one, at that. A lot of elbow room at a banquette probably usually reserved for small girls in small skirts and overpriced bottle service… but hey hey, I’m getting jiggy with an Americano and some eggs over here.
Ah, the eggs. I had them with smoked salmon on english muffins. It was exactly as described, no more… no less. Two english muffins, side by side on a plate, scrambled eggs carefully perched and then piled with a few pieces of smoked salmon. It was tasty — though not inventive, but surely did the trick. A garnish or something to set it apart might do wonders. Perhaps butter? I’m not sure, needs a little sumpin’. My dining partner had the Full English breakfast and commented that he «could definitely come back and have it again, especially if hungover» because the place didn’t annoy him. Because it was silent and pretty empty… but again, it’s a club trying to do some breakfast so it makes sense. His fare was standard but both served quickly.
Our service was great. Got off to a slow start, as I saw many men scurrying around… but around us. Not to us. So we waited awhile for coffee, but then it was well made and so I was happy again. Steamed milk with an Americano, always a winner.
So for under 30 quid we were caffeinated, fed, not annoyed with any ques and had some friendly service. Would I hurry back? Probably not, but it’ll remain on my roster as a good place to bring my husband when I want to go out for breakfast and not deal with a bad attitude. Just give him a Full English and he’s a new man!

Don’t go here to eat, go here to drink.
Easy enough to find between Ginas and Les Trois and a short walk from Shoreditch HS tube is what initially appears to be a West End crew bar that got accidentally transported due East to Brick Lane?
On entering you are hit by a muxed ip combination of kewl Brit meets fin-​de-​siecle Paris. Not sure what the interior designers were smoking when they put together this concept but it worked for me. Wot i can say is, you will love it or hate it.
What you may not realise whilst here is that there is a Restaurant, Bar, Mezzanine, 2 Cocktail bars & a Gallery where the East End Film Festival has made an appearance. All this contained within three floors including a basement with the obligatory DJ slotspot and a VIP area. Quelle surprise! Rumour has it their New Years bash is something else so if you haven’t made plans yet then maybe… but …as with any place of this genre how you feel about it ultimately depends on the service you will receive and I have had two visits which were vividly contrasting as a result of how busy it was and where we chose to park up. Go early in the evening on a weekday if you want to get the best experience.
They get a big thumbs up for the Allan Gage inspired cocktails but a massive thumbs down for the food, it is bleh at best!

Nie wieder! lächerlich übertriebene Inneneinrichtung, überteuertes Essen/​Getränke, schlechte Service — what was I thinking?!