Colton Arms

A lovely pub tucked away in a quiet neighborhood, it felt right for my last night in London. The bartender was kind, the Guinness was delicious, and the dog was adorable. The regulars were equally kind, opting to chat with me even though I was the weird tourist coming to a pub alone. We watched Eurovision together and had a few laughs until the bartender politely stated that he was closing up soon. The interior is very cozy and with some interesting pieces of furniture, as well as a fireplace. I wish I had found it sooner; it was only a few blocks away from where I was staying. Then I might have been by every night.

The competition to find the last, genuine, honest, unreconstructed pub in West London is between the Colton Arms and the Fox & Pheasant in Billing Road, Chelsea.
The Colton is simply a legend of a pub. Dropped, apparently at random, among the red-​brick mansion blocks of Baron’s Court, this squat, white-​washed brick building looks waaaay out of place.
Inside, things get stranger still… We’re in West London, in a pub. No fruit machines. No TV. No piped music. No mobile phones. No gastro-​nosh. No wankers. Shome mishtake surely…
But no, this is how this pub is — and, frankly, a lot more pubs should be — run. The ale is immaculately kept, served in proper jugs, rather than the poncier «sleeves» we have become accustomed to. Food? Have a bag of crisps, ya big puff… The landlord is strictly old-​school, beady-​eyed, no nonsense.
And there’s a lovely little garden round the back.
One day, this will all be gone. We will weep into our pints of Doom. But for now, we must enjoy and support this most wondrous of pubs.

Last night, a colleague and I found ourselves in Hammersmith. I searched online, and found this gem of a pub (when I say ‘found’, it took some looking — the postcode given on the other listing for this pub here is incorrect — it’s much further down Greyhound Road than Googlemaps would have you believe — the actual postcode is W14 9SD).
It was worth the search. Not exciting from the outside, once you step inside you enter a lost world. You’ll see lots of intricately carved dark wood, an open fire (though gas), and a small bar with a couple of snug (ish) rooms to either side.
The welcome is unparalleled — the Landlord (Jon) is truly an old school landlord — welcoming and jovial. The ale (my companion and I had Doom Bar — expensive at £3.40 a pint, less so when aforementioned landlord buys you a pint) is well kept and served in jugs (they have both dimpled and non-​dimpled glasses). The beer tasted fresh and was served, as is right and proper, at just below room temperature.
There is, apparently, an outdoor area at the back, but probably due to the frigid conditions, this was shut during our visit. Though the pub itself was cosy and warm (the gas fire undoubtedly contributing to this — they also have another fireplace which looks to now be decorative), though the ladies’ room was rather chillsome (though very clean).
The landlord challenged us to find the television on which they apparently show major sporting events — we were flummoxed. There is, however, a flat screen above the fireplace — utterly unobstrusive, as they only turn it on for said events — you won’t find a rolling Sky Sports newsfeed here. Nor will you find loud music (in fact, there was no music playing during our visit) nor fruit machines. That is most welcome these days.
The pub is not large, and can get quite busy — when we arrived, nearly every seat was taken, and getting from one of the snug rooms to the loos can involve a bit of a slalom. But those little niggles aside, I can truly recommend this pub — it is worth seeking out. I hope to visit again when I’m in the area.

Petit pub bien sympathique et tellement anglais. On adore pour le bar authentique, pour les pilier du-​dit bar, pour la biere a la pression, pour le tenancier qui est un amour, pour l’ambiance tellement anglaise que l’on s’attend a voir arriver Sherlock Holmes, pour les pork scratchings a gogo, pour le feu dans la cheminee et les banquettes devant et pour le petit jardin a l’arriere ou il fait bon s’asseoir en ete.
Je crois que j’ai fait le tour de la question Ah si juste un petit probleme, on né sait jamais quand il sera ouvert.

From the outside, this pub looks like a ground floor flat with some big writing on the front, but go in, and I reckon you’ve got one of the best traditional pubs in West London.
It’s not huge, and there’s no massive screen showing sport, but then that’s not what this place is about. There’s a big open fire, and some beautifully authentic interiors, with benches and armchairs a-​plenty. Great selection of drinks too, and you can tell it’s good, because most people inside are regulars.
The perfect place to enjoy a cosy winter drink with your friends!

Colton Arms is very much a ‘local’. Tucked away in a fairly quiet and boring bit of Barons Court, it’s the kind of pub where you go in and the landlord is chatting to a revolving collection of elderly gentlemen. It is also extremely small. Think someone’s front room, with a bar taking up most of the space. And dogs on the floor. It fills up pretty easily, but you can generally find a spot to rest your pint. Being small, it’s also not such a mission to nip outside for a fag.
As it’s an ‘old man’ pub, it has a quietly friendly sort of atmosphere; you’re not likely to be bothered by drunken louts here. These also aren’t the kind of old men who make inappropriate comments.
Colton Arms doesn’t serve food that I’m aware of, and it has a fairly small selection of beers on tap; but I’m assured that the previous head of Fuller’s declared it to serve the finest pint of London Pride he’d ever tasted. And yes, they do top your glass up.