David Clulow

I’d been putting it off for some time the big event of finding the perfect pair of new glasses. It was no good, the time had come, I had to be brave and venture forth into the wide world of spec-​tacular exploration and vast expense, or do I just mean extortion? (Please note I’m not referring to one unique supplier/​provider, as far as that factor is concerned!)
Fortunately, I don’t have to wear specs all the time — I alternate them with lenses — but when I do wear them I like them to be ‘on the nose’ and as alluring as possible.
After trying several, I found a pair I fell in love with until it came to the price tag. They were stunners — a pair of Prada’s latest and finest — mostly black, with a hint of orange trim and some subtle crystal detail on the sides. I didn’t realise I’d need a mortgage consultation before I signed on the dotted line. The frames were a mere £345 (and that’s before the lenses went in)
I had a very helpful assistant who confirmed how well they suited me and told me he was sure they had been wrongly priced. He went to his colleague to check and she confirmed that was indeed the price — they were Swarovski crystals, after all! Sadly I had to decline the prospect of paying close to £500 for a beautiful new pair of specs, however gorgeous and tantalising. My quest continues