IKEA

AHHHHH IKEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Ikea is great. It’s where people who don’t want to spend a ton of money go to buy big furniture like things and products for their flat. That’s what we did. We spent 6 hours here as husband and wife shopping for things for our future. Sounds like a big deal. It is. We also ate here. You should make sure to eat not by the children area because there will be a lot of children screaming. Unfortunately we didn’t realize we were in the children section until after I finished eating. Poop. The food isn’t bad though. I tried veggie balls with tomato sauce… seems like a healthy enough option.
There’s nothing wrong with Ikea, I just can’t give them 4 stars. I’m sorry!!! They’ve got a ton of amazing things, but the whole process of picking out everything for your flat is overwhelming and likely to make a person go nuts. We almost lost it and had to divorce when we were trying to pick out a throw blanket for our couch. Don’t worry, we decided to move on instead of fight. Winning couple.

I’ve been to the Croydon IKEA a couple of times, but this is my go-​to flat-​pack emporium. Personally, I think this is better than Croydon and feels bigger and more spacious. It’s got everything you could need-​you know the drill. The «restaurant» is pretty good and very good value (free refilled drinks!) and the meatballs are good. I like the fact that after queueing for ages to pay, you can stuff your face with hotdogs immediately opposite.

I visited Ikea for two reasons: First and foremost to purchase a futon, secondly to try the meatballs.
I do not think it is unreasonable to expect to go to an IKEA and leave with a futon. After all, it is described as a furniture store. If you believe that you can visit an IKEA and leave with the piece of furniture you desire, you (like me) have been fooled.
In the show room, the sales associate told me that he would not fold the futon to the seated position because it’s, «just 20 cm shorter than the one to the right.» Uhh… Isn’t the sole purpose of the show room to allow potential customers to see how the furniture actual functions and looks? Also, some of us use the STANDARD system. I know it’s not actually standard, but still, a little bit of sensitivity would be nice. (I digress)
Despite the best efforts of the sales person, we decide on a futon (cm and all). We head downstairs to collect our boxes. Of course, our boxes were behind a gate instructing us to get sales associate assistance. Do sales associates exist at this IKEA? After 10 minutes of being unable to find anyone who works at the store, I notice that the gate was unlocked and opened it. After that, it was like a scene from the Walking Dead. All of us zombie customers streamed into the area looking for our boxes. A sales associate finally appeared and seemed unperturbed by the fact that the section was now overrun with customers.
The main box (the futon frame) was nowhere to be found in the gated area. We asked the sales associate how we could order it, he said he didn’t know and it was «not his department». A response repeated several more times throughout the night before I gave up. Here is a thought — why don’t you all stay in your department that way when customers approach you with questions you can actually help them? … wait, I think I just answered my own question.
We went to the customer support area, but the machine to get a number was broken and the waiting room looked like a government office waiting room.
Objective 1 — FAILED
Objective 2 — Meatballs
We ordered meatballs and chips. Without asking first, a somewhat suspect sauce (dare I say gravy) was poured over the balls. (I think the word meat may be inaccurate)
It was salty and somewhat bland and saved by the ketchup that miraculously (miraculous given the general attentiveness of this IKEA store) appeared.
Given the price point and expectations, I would give the meal 3 stars.
Hot sauce could have made it 5.
Weighted average of the overall IKEA experience 1 star (Objective 1 had negative stars).

I’m mad cause I lost my review to the terrible cell phone reception here. Please install some boosters! No one is show-​rooming, nothing is cheaper than IKEA. Parking is a mess, too many people here. Far too many children as well. It’s a horrible experience. Come for the café, otherwise order online !

Cheap furniture that you can take home right away, yummy meatballs, great little Swedish food shop. What’s not to love?
Oh right, the queues. Open some more cash registers already!

I have only been to Ikea once for myself, and once for moral support — so I don’t feel über qualified to be writing a review.
Let’s skip over the «everything is awesome» part of Ikea. Let’s face it, it is. I thought the staff really make it. Otherwise, it’s an overcrowded rat race. My experience with the staff at this store was great. Very easy to approach and very knowledgable about the products. They made the entire process from custom ordering to payment pretty painless, in a very confusing environment. It was a great experience– albeit, exhausting and bank busting, but a lovely adventure at Ikea Wembley!

I do love IKEA. And I don’t care they had Horse meat in the meatballs, I would have eaten them anyway! Unfortunately they don’t sell it at the moment :(
They are actually refurbishing the store at the moment and therefore you can’t really enjoy the usual «I walk around and want to buy everything even though I don’t need anything-​tour». That is a bit depressing.
But in the end they still sell their 65p hot dogs which are always a hit and I must admit, sometimes I go to IKEA just for the hot dogs! So no meatballs and no tour through all the different parts of a home gives one star less but I am still a fan!!!

IKEA IKEA IKEA.
This store was my first memory of IKEA all those years ago. Been to many others in 2 other continents but this was my first. You never forget your first.
IKEA is a place where you can while away some time with ease. It’s like a Swedish furniture labyrinth which you must complete to earn your badge and your exit.
IKEA furniture is sometimes cheap and cheap and sometimes expensive and cheap. Huh? What the? Let me explain.
Some items you get for a good price and the old adage you get what you pay for is apt. Those kinds of deals are fine. You are not spending a low amount for the finest wood. You know it’s one level above balsa wood! Billy Bookcases for example.
Some other items cost a lot more and are still of the same questionable quality as the cheaper items. You can’t shop here for super high quality items but MDF level is where it’s at. Their folding sofabed is a good example. Useless metal frame that isn’t durable but with the folding mattress costs an arm and a leg! And if you are not careful could literally take your arm and your leg off.
However I have fond memories so for nostalgia’s sake…4 stars.

If you don’t like crowds dont go at the weekend. A good location and easy to find, plenty of parking and a good layout to the place. But come prepared with a list or you may get side tracked. Biggest risk is as this place is busy that by the time you get downstairs to pick the stuff up its sold out and the staff are too busy to help you. So go mid week or early and if you really need something don’t delay in the restaurant!

I love every Ikea I go into, but this one for some reason was sensory overload. It was packed, even though it was a Friday afternoon, and there were just too many kids. I also hate how the top floor is really confusing and you have to go through the entire thing to get to the exit.

2 Stars for most of the staff but 4 stars overall.
Some of this wee jaunt to IKEA was pure tedium, most however, was actually a nice evening.
Yes, I said evening. A Saturday evening actually, making it a date with the missus. Some people go drinking and dancing — we go furniture shopping. And quite a savvy move it was too, the place wasn’t busy at all.
A 10 minute walk from Neasden tube station brought us to the home of Swedish furniture (more on that later). Once across the gargantuan car park, we were in, and browsing. We knew exactly what we were looking for but you just can’t help yourself can you? We browsed the hell out of this place.
Free pencils and paper tape measure!
After seeing everything IKEA has to offer, the drawn out process of locating your desired items begins and the picking up of more stuff than you had come for begins also. Sticking with the bookcase and sideboard I wanted from the start we managed to picked up an extra chest of drawers, a nest of baskets, two picture frames and a bag of Dimes (Daims?) — damn IKEA!
Negotiating our full trolly towards the checkout/​hell we, and many others, just about managed to avoid being decapitated by IKEA staff swinging some trollied flat-​packed goodies around the aisles. Some pretty reckless swinging going on there. Although the worst of the staff comes out at the tills.
A while after joining one of the few, long queues (most of the tills were closed), we kept seeing the same short IKEA lady plodding back and forth along our queue. A little while later, the queue hadn’t moved along much but the short IKEA lady was still intermittently plodding back and forth. Turns out, she should’ve been on the till. Our till. That’s why we weren’t moving much, she was frequently telling the people at the back of the queue they may not get served because she wanted to go home soon. It was late, but that’s a bit of a joke. She could’ve easily put another staff member at the back of the queue to point out they were closing soon, it’s not as if the rest were particularly busy, they weren’t on the other tills that’s for sure.
Farcical queueing (finally) over, the best was about to happen.
We needed our new acquisitions delivered — we don’t drive.
IKEA man: Delivery for these items is £45, they can be delivered in two days time or… do you have a car here?
Me: No.
IKEA man: If you like, for an extra £10 we can have a driver take you and all you items home now?
IKEA man is currently recovering well in hospital after I nearly ripped his hand off accepting the offer. A cab home and I’ll have all my purchases immediately? Yes please.
Oh, when I was putting my new furniture together they all had ‘made in Poland’ stickers on them. Home of Swedish furniture you say?
Ian.

Today I was assaulted by waaaaay too much Ikea. I was slapped in the face with a Nordic gust of nasty in all sorts of ways shapes and forms and between you and me, this might be the end of our relationship.
Please, for the sake of all things Elgâ, Grevbäck and Framstä, do not — I repeat — do NOT go on a weekend. It’s vile.

For me complaining about Ikea is akin to all those complaining tight wads who appear in those TV shows about budget airlines where people endlessly winge about the level and quality of the service. It’s cheap, some of it’s very cheap and then there is the occasional extremely cheap. To use Ikea and complain is to be a the very definition of an idiot. If you want to complain spend more and then you’ll have some semblance of a position to argue from. I love their swedish way of manipulating a few more quid out of my greedy pocket.

I really was planning to browse. After all, I had taken the Underground there. I knew I couldn’t buy anything, because I’d have to carry it around all day. And yet… there was a laptop table that was $^&#@ perfect. I must have it!
I walked from Neasden (Jubilee Line) station. Yes, the Ikea web page mentions the free shuttle bus from Stonebridge Park, but there were planned engineering works (surprise!). I looked at Google Earth and saw that Neasden was close enough. It’s a pleasant and well marked ten minute walk from Neasden, but there are a couple of alleys that could be a little unsafe after the sun sets, if you know what I mean.
Entering the store, I stopped for a late breakfast to earn back the calories from the walk. They have a fantastic special — 6 items for £1.55 make up an English breakfast. That gave me a few minutes to catch my breath and plan my attack.
There’s a difference between «cheap» and «inexpensive.» IKEA isn’t heirloom quality furniture, but it will last pretty well under normal conditions and certainly is useful for kitting out a flat or a college dorm room. The kitchenware, including the cutlery and flatware and dishes are all decent and arty. The desks and the beds and the chairs and the sofas are all excellent. Not cheap. Inexpensive. I’m a fan.
In the end, I skipped the laptop table. Maybe I can convince a vehicle’d friend to pick it up for me. Or have it delivered — the £15 table is only £22.50 with shipping. (600)

===== Before you go to IKEA ======
(Q) What items do you really need?
(A) You will leave with fifteen times as many.
(Q) How much do you think you’ll spend?
(A) You will spend ten times as much.
(Q) How long do you think you’ll be there for?
(A) You’ll be there five times longer than that.
(Q) Do you think 10 meatballs is enough?
(A) Double that at least.

I was looking for a table lamp and I tried to go to several shops. All of them had expensive price and the lamps were not so nice. I finally went to Ikea and there was a big choice of nice lamp with cheap prices.
One disadvantage, the shop is so big that you need a lot of time to find what you are looking for.

This Ikea cracks me up and here’s why: I was in line for what seemed like ages and these women in front of me kept throwing stuff out of their carts because apparently they like to grab everything then mull it over in the final checkout moments. They then caused a scene regarding some bookcase giveaway and they didn’t have some Ikea family card so they weren’t eligible, then they left half of a cart full of things that they decided they didn’t want, and then when it was finally my turn in line the cashier looks at me and was like «YOU BELIEVE THAT B – !! Why she got to be so rude!!» Keep it real Ikea Wembley!!!
Though this one was actually really easy to get to from central, I live off Farringdon, so I just take the metropolitan line to finchley road, swap to the jubilee cause you literally just run across a platform, you don’t need to go across the station, then you’re in Neasden in no time. It’s a bit of a maze to find from the tube station, but it’s not really that bad of a walk. I mean, really, it’s Ikea, you’re saving money, you should expect to walk through some mazes to get there if you don’t have a car.

This Ikea is pretty great, in that you can get to it via tube (Jubilee to Neasdon or Bakerloo to Stonebridge Park, then a free 5 min Ikea shuttle).
The place is jammed full of screaming children and irate parents, but if you’re looking for low budget flat-​packed modern design, it can’t be beat. Half dozen wine glasses for £3? Bowls for £0.75? Quirky pint glasses for under £1? Scorebags.
Plus, they have a car service that will drive you and all of your new, incredibly heavy possessions home for around £50. Obviously it’s better to have a car or whatever, but sometimes when life gives you lemons you need to pay £50 to make lemonade.

Ikea Wembley stinks. It is the most revolting store around, swarming with children and lower class type nudging.
The store seals cheap furniture of an awful quality. I never would have set foot into this damn store if I didn’t want to replace this chair I had ages ago. It was an Ikea chair from a different Ikea, abroad.
I had a low budget so I thought I’d like to replace my chair here. Everything looked and felt cheap. I could not wait to get out of this store.
The couches were atrocious, the fabric stiff and nasty. I was unimpressed by the whole store even the simulated rooms looked naff.
Leave it.

Whether you love it or hate it, you will always find something you genuinely like here. I always end up buying silly things too like 500 napkins, which are awesome, for 2 quid. Ikea makes shopping simple with the browsing of their show room, smaller accessories, then the free for all grabbing of furniture in the warehouse. You can also just browse in the store or online and shop. They deliver!
This location is great and the Ikea is bussing distance from about 4 – 5 tube stations on the Metropolitan and Bakerloo lines. The bus you want is usually the PR2 and it usually doesn’t stop even with vigorous arm waving. Ikea itself runs a shuttle from Wembley and Stonebridge Park stations often. (Note: if you accidently make the driver lock the keys in his van while it is running, he will be VERY angry with you.)
Ikea sells not only furniture. You can build yourself a new kitchen, buy matching linen and bath sets, and furnish your kitchen with cookery, full place settings and dishes, buy hardwire or free standing lighting, pillows of every size for every occasion and function, and swedish meatballs. I love the food court and mini grocery store there! Cheap!
Ikea has something to define everyones personality adding the satisfaction that you had to build it yourself. Nothing comes assembled but you can hire someone to build it for you. But, who would want that when you could wear the trophy of calloused fingers from the standard issue L or S shaped allen key (I actually have an attachment for my power drill HAH!) Or better yet, cracking the code of wordless directions which require you to study every angle of every part, and look at every detail drawn. Your pride will make you want to invite everyone over after you are done to look at a cruddy little side table YOU built. Grrr
But it is all brilliant. Instant new home. Everything always looks like what you think you are getting. One table can come in 5 colors. A couch can come in about 30 with varying fabric materials and cusion quality. With an allen key (always supplied), flat head and phillips head screw driver you can build anything. The only other items you may need to complete their products (not including adding your personal flare) are a hammer, power drill, measuring tape, scissors and an iron.
The furniture is usually good for one go, sometimes two, but not everything survives moving or being taken apart and rebuilt. Some furinture is good quality but most of it is cheap crap, which is great because you can redecorate often if you want and not spend a fortune. I don’t recommend their cookery but mostly because I like high quality, expensive, non stick stuff, but it doesn’t look bad and is functional. Their plates are awesome and last forever but their glassware is thin and often breaks easily. The linens are good but the cheaper stuff fades easily and cheap towels fall apart or get holes.
Go buy something. Prove to people you are organized. Prove you have fashion sense. Prove you are someone who can be uniquely defined by a couch cover and coordinating curtains. Remember, Ikea loves you.
Eat their meatballs too. they are wicked awesome.