S & M Tools

Damn you Kevin for getting in there first, for what must be the easiest Pun on a business name!
Anyway, this is a very basic neighbourhood hardware shop. It has nothing fancy, it has lots of Bits ‘n Bobs, tons of useless things that have no use whatsoever until your underside flange leaks or your eccentric ball-​cock blows and you need a fix, urgently.
It is more for those quick-​fixes, don’t come here looking for quality tools or any top branded equipment. Actually, not even the mid-​range brands, it is all very much no-​brand and Rolson.
They probably have a basic version of whatever you need though, or a temporary fix alternative.

The name of this business just –begs– to be abused. And seeing as I’m the first to review it, it wouldn’t –quite– be beating a dead horse, I just can’t bring myself to strap on high heels and break out the riding crop for some cheap giggles.
Upon recently discovering that one of the lights in my flat’s toilet had burned out, I rummaged around in the utility drawer to see if the landlord had left any spares. Of –course– it wouldn’t be that easy. Off to S & M Tools I went, fingers crossed that they’d be able to provide me a replacement.
I thought it was quite clever of me to bring in the useless bulb to use as an example of what I was looking for. Even with the dud in tow, there was still some question of what wattage it was. I call it poor design that it wasn’t labelled on the bulb. How am I supposed to know these things? Does it look like I’m an engineer or something?
Fortunately, the oriental matron of the shop had the answer.
Cashier son: Mum, what wattage is this? It doesn’t say.
Her to son: No problem. It’s 50 watts.
Her to me: You want it bright?
Me: No, it doesn’t need to be bright.
Her to son: 35 watts.
A few pounds poorer, but a 35 watt bulb richer, I departed S & M Tools. I kind of considered mumbling on my way out of the shop, ‘Thank you ma’am, may I have another?’ But that would’ve been absurd…

A nice, down to earth tool/​hardware shop. Its proximity to hatton gardens means that it stocks a range of jewellery/​micro tools other shops don’t, also unlike many of the shops in hatton gardens, it caters to the cheaper end of the market.
This is a great place to pick up generic ‘dremel’ bits (amongst other things!)