Loco Express

Loco is a large takeaway/​fast food place that you will find all the usual — kebabs, burgers, chips etc. They even do milkshakes. I have been to Loco a few times — more often than not at the end of a night out and in need for food!
Every time I have been I have gone for the same thing — a lamb shish kebab. Its what I usually get from kebab places — and think its reasonably ‘healthy’ as its actual chunks of meat rather than something like a doner kebab AKA the elephant leg.
I have had a doner kebab once before just you I can say whats it like and had it — and its not the worse thing in the world — but rather have something else!
Back to Loco and the kebab, its served in tortilla wrap and its generous size. As with all kebabs, you can get whatever salad you want in it and then a sauce. Not that I go to many different kebab places but Loco is the only one I have been too which has mango chutney to put on the kebab — I personally much prefer that to some hot sauce.
As well as the kebab, I have actually had some chips from here before and to be honest they are not that great — just your typical chips from a fast food/​takeaway/​kebab place.

If you need a kebab at 4am, Loco Express is your man. The kebabs were impressively massive and two accompanied with chips with gravy came to £11.10 which seemed pretty reasonable although didn’t everything at that time of the morning.
Staff were really friendly and on the ball and there’s actually quite a lot of space to sit in and eat here which is good although it’s not cleaned very regularly so expect a lot of crumbs and sauce — fitting with the atmosphere really.
Also…there is a milkshake bar. I greatly approve.

When everything is closing, Loco is open and waits you to eat! For these times of the day (or should I say of the night?), its a safe and decent choise for all the city centre clubbers! You will find pizzas, burgers, kebabs, and I recently realised that they make shakes as well! Try everything! Big portions for what you pay! Dont forget to have cash with you! They dont accept cards and the closest cash machine charges you for the transaction and I am sure you dont want that!!(Its better to add fries at your burger with that money!!!)

I have to say that I have been going to Loco’s for over 4 years now, and know it to be a saviour on many occasions. Firstly I have to say that the staff there are wonderful! Now, it could be that they take pity on me (based on me working the doors) but they always treat me like royalty, be it q jumping me, remembering what I always order, or simply driving a chicken burger to me at work to ease the pain of the cold wet nights! Now, onto the food… I honestly can say that I have never had a better chicken burger anywhere, nor a bad burger from them! The chicken is halal and fresh and is deep fried (oops) to be made beautiful for the accompanying bun laced with cheese, that is lovingly served for your pleasure. The chips are always crispy, slim, perfectly salted, and served with standard vinegar, or a variety of sauces… oh and of course the cheese that I cannot have late night chips without!!!
Now, to write this review without mentioning my friend Sam… she comes up to Manchester once in a blue moon… if I don’t let her come to Loco’s — she would no longer be my best friend!!!
So…come one come all, but please don’t just walk past as it looks a bit scummy — looks can be deceiving!!!

Loco, crazy in Spanish I believe. If you wander inside this dubious looking take away you will get some crazy things glaring back at you. What’s with all the worldy paper notes on the counter? And the boxing machine game? Something doesn’t seem quite healthy about that in a café come late night take away.
So onto the food, does it live up to its name, are we going crazy for the installments from the Loco express? Well it’s packed out with the late night wanderers from Oxford Road bars and clubs and Brickhouse next door. Why not, cheap pizzas, samosas, chips, burgers, kebabs. Loco has alot of offer for the typical takeaway menu and a lot of tables and chairs if you can’t wait for the taxi ride home to munch on your cravings.
I must admit I’ve had a portion of cheesy chips on my walk home from the library one time and they weren’t the nicest chips or most generous of portions but they sufficed I guess. Loco is one of the few take aways you’ll find on the top end of Oxford Road, so stick with it for now. Deliveries and halal meat come with your Loco package also.

The pizza here is delicious, especially so after a night on the beer! It is deep pan pizza with tasty toppings that seems to melt in your mouth. I think my boyfriend would eat the pizza from here every night for tea if I let him.
The only thing that puts me off is the big Halal sign in the window, before I saw this I happily ordered chicken and pineapple pizzas and enjoyed every bite of them but now unfortunately I have to stick to none meat pizza because I can’t stop thinking about it, funny how your mind rules the things you like and don’t like to eat.
The staff in here could be friendlier and I wouldn’t recommend ever eating in, the place is dirty, the seating ripped and one glance at the toilets and you’ll be unable to finish your tea. However nonw of that matters if you’re taking out which the majority of people do.

This is not just any old takeaway, no! This is Loco’s…the pizza here rocks my world — especially chicken and pineapple. If you are a burger type get onto the lunatic burger, its packed with everything you could think of plus more. The chips and cheese is nothing short of brilliant. If you are lucky enough to frequent this tasty fast food joint, be sure to do so late at night to get a good laugh or funny chat with folks en-​route home from an evening at the Ritz. To top it all off the dudes who work there seem to be the friendliest dudes in Manchester. Tasy, cheap and fun (ny) FANTASTIC!