Hmp Gartree

I have never stayed here myself but I’m told there are a lot of criminals in the area, but it’s a secure place to stay and very cheap, has its own security guards, rooms are all inclusive and has a decent free library and gym. I would not choose to stay here, but to be fare I have stayed in worse places and paid for them.

a great place to visit with the kids! but you need to apply for tickets before hand as they wont let you in on the gate.
security is tight here, unless you are extremely rich and own your own helicopter, then access is free. they have a landing pad within it grounds.
don’t fear that your kids will get lost here, the whole complex is walled around and they will be found in the perimeter, if not some lovely man will surely help them out.
i have never stayed here but once in there i believe there is plenty to keep you occupied, free education, counselling, sport, food, etc etc.

Everyone is welcome at this fine establishment. It offers fine food, state of the art mod-​cons, a bedroom all to yourself, a butler service and even someone to open doors for you. Would you believe it… you don’t have to pay a penny and you can stay there for as long as you like… or until you’re asked to leave. Gartree belongs to a large chain of hotels, all well known to certain individuals, of a certain way of life.
All you have to do to be accepted is not to conform with society’s laws and break as many as you can to be noticed by our boys in blue (or girls). Then, having had a brief chat with a chap wearing a funny wig, your transport will be arranged (no charge) and off you pop.
Word of warning… watch the showers… don’t drop the soap… never promise to make friends unless you really want to ! !