Scunthorpe United FC

Scum-​thaw is when the dirt in your sink/​basin is frozen, but then it melts. Ew. Thankfully this team is better than that. A little bit.
First-​Hand Experience: I have been to their home stadium twice but have never seen them play there. However, I’ve seen them play away from home (Blackpool and Torquay, if I recall), and both times the team were valiant but not victorious. I do appreciate them and especially their excellent 4-​star stadium, but their fan base isn’t too large so I’m going to just give them an average 3 star rating.
My enduring memory of Scunthorpe is the 80s ad/​commercial song «only 24 toasties from Scunthorpe.» Or something like that. Only 6 double beds from Torquay, and I can’t decide if I will buy a diamond ring or a drill. And so on.
I think whoever came up with that thought it was funny because these places were not at all romantic, but then again neither are the places in the original country and oldies songs, if you actually visit them, which is the double irony, or the irony of the irony if you like.
Scunthorpe were formed in 1899, they play to just 9k people, they are known as The Iron, they play in awful Villa-​West Ham type colours, and they’re not my fave team by a long way. They were in the second tier a lot back in the old old days, but since then they haven’t achieved anything. They have a women’s team, so for that fact alone I’ll give them three stars.