Best Kebab & Fish Bar

Since this is the «Best Kebab & Fish Bar» I’m a little surprised that I’m the first to review it! I used to live in an apartment right above this place, enjoying the savory aroma of Kebab all day and all night, and hearing the joyful scuffles and banter of drunk hooligans while they scarfed down kebabs after the pubs closed.
I ate there almost every day. «George Bush!!» yelled the Turkish/​Kurdish cooks when I entered. They liked to call me that because I’m American. I tried to convince them to support the creation of a Kurdistan homeland independent of the Turks, but they just stared at me blankly, waiting for me to order.
The best food they have there is the Doner Kebab, sliced off of that huge tasty revolving hunk of meat. Some people might be concerned about eating meat un-​refrigerated for weeks on end, but I don’t care. The heat lamp was sure to kill most of the bacteria.
The fries are good, but like most «chips» in England a bit too soggy. I would have the guys cook my chips extra long to suit my tastes. The cooks would do anything I ask — which I like.
They tried to get me to buy their baklava, claiming it would provide me with sexual powers. I tasted it once — didn’t notice any change.
I liked this place so much that when I left England I gave them my TV.

Lovely, lovely kebabs and deliver for free too. I love them all but especially the chicken which is just delicuious. The salad is the best out of all the kebab shops around. You get so much of it and a lovely creamy coleslaw too. Well worth the money, try a large mixed — you’ll never have to eat again!!!