Shalimar

Nailed with plywood? Check. Any slight gap of a window covered with wire mesh to protect it? Check. Suspicious-​looking Indian shopkeepers raising one eyebrow at you disapprovingly as you walk in? Check. Same shopkeepers becoming disgruntled at your presence as they try and get past you with an enormous sack of potatoes in the newsagent’s with the narrowest aisles on record? Check.
This is Shalimar, my nearest shop. Yes, I normally trundle all the way to Sainsbury’s, which actually in effect takes little more than five minutes, but for those last minute little bits that you might have forgotten, this is a perfect little stop. It’s just ever so slightly intimidating.
I remember my first visit here well. I was spending the day with the blonde at my place, as the day before she’d had a rotten thing happen to her. Let’s just say boy trouble came to an abrupt end. She’s a little toughie, my blonde. Crying eludes her and she idolises Tank Girl. So to hear her upset made my heart melt, but the following day she arrived at my apartment for drinking, DVDs, X Factor-​watching and what would become an incredibly long YouTube session searching for old music videos and various hilarious moments in television with gusto and pride restored. ‘Let’s stock up on chocolate and crisps,’ she said, leading me to this very shop.
There was the slight apprehension that greets you whenever you walk towards one of these crime-​fearing newsagent’s, but our Mancunian Tank Girl makes you feel protected enough and once inside I realised that bargains soon make short work of fear. With a huge array of large sharing chocolate bars at a quid each alongside cinema-​style bags of sweets for the same price, you couldn’t really go wrong. And proper McCoys? Man crisps? Get in. We came out armed with a bucketful of snacks and lemonade and proceeded to go about our very fun day.
Generally I only go in there with other people, as it’s on that questionable part of Chapel Street near Islington Park, the council estates and the cadaverous-​looking hoodies. However that’s simply because of how well protected the shop looks, not because of the shopkeepers. I mean, come on. There’s a reason they’ve boarded it up like that. They must get some mischief in there. So all in all, bargain junk food for the win, scary wire mesh not so much. Exercise caution.