Pho Miam

I wanted to love this place — around the corner from my AirBnB, not on Unilocal yet, cute, funky Thai place with a fun name, really appealing tiny storefront. The staff were lovely, efficient and friendly (although they forgot to give me a take-​out menu with my take-​out, even after asking me if I wanted a menu), and I could hear my food being made downstairs in what I can only imagine is the hottest kitchen possible.
The disappointment only started when I got back to my 25m2 pad and up the requisite five flights of stairs. (a) The food was already cold (how is that possible?) (b) No basil in my little baggie of add-​ons (standard in most Thai places I’ve found), just lettuce (?) and some mint. © The chicken vermicelli was bland at best, and really odd at worst. Maybe five pieces of tip-​of-​my-​thumb-​sized chicken in hoisin sauce, and then some veggies and really, really odd rice noodles (they tasted like paper?) (d) The dressing/​sauce was flavorless and not sweet, spicy, anything. It just tasted like oil. (e) The spring rolls were the most bizarre of the bunch. and I’ll digress here a bit.
I live in Vancouver, Canada, home to the most varied of food opportunities. Literally within a few blocks of my (suburban) home, I can eat all manner of Asian food. Korean, Thai, Chinese, Asian Fusion, Sushi, Vietnamese. you name it. Thai is, and will always be my favorite, next to Vietnamese. I’ve been known to eat Vietnamese food for every meal of every day, when I can find a place near me that makes it cheap and fresh. So I’ve had my fair share of Vietnamese food, and I think I know what I’m talking about, what I like, what works and what doesn’t. For me.
These spring rolls were by far the most odd of all spring rolls I’ve had (and I had some a few days after eating here in Paris, that were similarly made yet oh-​so-​much-​more-​tasty). So, they were spring rolls, with what seemed to be panko bread crumbs on the top layer. Sure, I’ll try it. I’m expecting crunchy with a soft center, and all I get is mush. Goop. I try again, and it’s still mush. I can’t tell what the ingredients are (normally I see meat/​tof, grated carrots, maybe some veg) — this was just brown mush. Inside and out. Panko and all. The sauce was just oily-​tasting so… oily-​tasting mush.
I’m hoping it was just a bad night for these guys, because they were relatively busy with a stream of take out customers… yet with so many options in the area, I doubt I’ll try again to find out.