Amphibian King

My steadfast dedication to all-​round boy scoutlyness led me to doing a ridiculous amount of research into buying running shoes last week.
I had been having knee pain after upping my average running distance over the last few weeks. It was a niggle, then a twinge, and then my knee mysteriously kind-​of seized up in a weird way, like someone had poured poly-​filler into it. Thusly forced to limp home, outwardly in a seething rage and inwardly quivering with fear, I vowed to sort the problem out.
As expected, I uncovered lots of marketing-​based science (read: quackery) and opinion-​led forum articles (read: loonies) on the interweb.
After a days research, I had that familiar feeling that, at some point, the internet had once again snuck up on me, lashed a chloroform soaked hood over my head, tumbled me into the boot and led me round the houses until I was dizzy and disoriented. Then, ransom received, I get dumped unceremoniously out onto into the gutter.
However, I did manage to sneak a glimpse through a leaky seal in the trunk, when I roused intermittently from my drug-​coma, and, like a bad metaphorical detective, I extrapolated these key landmarks of information.
Clue #1 — If you’re going to run you need not just good shoes, but the right shoes for you. (And, two pairs, but I don’t really know why)
Clue #2 — If you’re going to get the right shoes you’ll need to find out what sort of runner you are.
Clue #3 — You’re either an underpronator, a normal pronator or an overpronator in one way, and a fore footed runner or rear footed (heel striking) runner in another way.
Clue #4 — You’ll need some snazzy technical shoe shop to figure it out for you.
Clue #5 — There aren’t really any in Dublin.
One step forward, two kicks in the face, as they say.
Enter, Amphibian King (what a name!). Just outside Dublin, this shop proclaims itself as a ‘Technical Running Shoe Specialist’ and boy-​oh-​boy they don’t disappoint.
I had come across this store on the web in a few places but had largely discounted it because of its location.
This would have been a pretty grave error because despite there being a few decent running oriented shops (including Elvery’s of Suffolk Street and Runways on Parnell Street) Amphibian King is by-​far-​and-​a-​way the best of the bunch.
When you get there, the process is as follows: A sales-​assistant/​marathon runner measures your feet (no socks, for accuracy) for length and width, then you stand in memory foam for a few minutes to see how your arches are, then you run, barefooted, down a track monitored by cameras, which is better that a treadmill like in the other places, because you run more naturally.
Footage reviewed and problems defined, they make sure you are wearing your preferred thickness and material of sock, before bringing down a rich selection of shoes from all the top running brands, including a few American ones I hadn’t heard of, like Brooks and Saucony, designed to eliminate your particular inadequacy.
Once you’ve narrowed down the selection to a manageable amount, they suggest you take the shoes out for a spin around the neighbourhod. Yep, a shop in Bray said to me, ‘take over € 100 of stock and just run away’, this is unsettling to say the least. Having run, glancing to my rear intermittently, around the block, I returned and made my purchase.
All of this, and the prices are no different from your local lifestyle sports. Jeepers-​creepers, that just blows me away.
If you plan on running a 5k, 10k, or a marathon, or even if you run a little just for fun, even if you go walking for fitness, do yourself and your knees/​shins/​feet a big, big favour and go down to Amphibian King.