Cabin Five

This place is wretched.
I went to Cabin Five last night for my girlfriends birthday… Guest List did not do anything as we still had to pay cover. The bartenders were extremely rude and unprofessional and took over 20 minutes to serve us. They had no concept of how to make drinks (she spilled more alcohol onto the bar top than in the actual drinks.) They didn’t know how to handle multiple customers at once, were terrible at math as they messed up my change twice…
Randomly half way through the night, they hopped up on the bar top and had a pillow fight. (WTF?!) Feathers everywhere, in our drinks, in our hair, not really sure what they were trying to accomplish with that.
Men and women have to share a bathroom…
I will never return to that place. It’s laughable how gross this place is.

Yes, it looks like a log cabin. There are moose heads (with pearl necklaces and bikini tops hanging from their antlers) and large watering cans behind the bar (for decoration?). You should come here if you want to feel 18 again. Get your fake id, put your trashy sequins dress on and ask the half-​naked bartender for a round of tequila.
They will try to charge you a $ 10 cover. For what? No live music, no special performance, nothing. Just regular club music and a below-​average drink selection.
Women & men must share a bathroom. That was the last straw for me.

Maybe it was the low expectations that I had, or maybe it was the many many drinks I had at the bar before coming, but I was pleasantly surprised by Cabin 5. Came here at around 11:45 on a Saturday night, and was not excited about waiting in line to be shoved onto a dancefloor with a bunch of douchebags and pretend to like the house remix of the latest top 40 song. There was no line to get in (though there WAS a $ 10 cover), the drinks were cheap and accessible, the music was great, and it was NOT annoyingly packed.

I went to this place on a Friday night and it was really great. Crowd was really relaxed and it fit the atmosphere really well. Didn’t fit that many people inside but it was nice and cozy regardless. Music was really good seemed to be a mix of house/​dance/​pop but nothing too crazy.
Cover was $ 15 which I would consider a little bit pricey and I believe I had an $ 8 mixed drink which again is pricy, but all the bouncers/​bartenders were quite friendly so made me feel alright about it.
I believe this place has undergone a few renovations/​name changes (although that could be Easy on the 5^th that I’m thinking of), but regardless this is somewhere I would recommend going if you’re looking for something that isn’t too intense but still a good time in the heart of downtown.

I remember when this place was called Black Betty (and therefore served to always thrust that G.D. Ram Jam tune into my head). It has seen a dramatic renovation since then, and with it an equally dramatic improvement. It is now Cabin Five: the rustic, creek-​fording, elk-​skin-​wearing little sister of The Fifth. Plenty of natural wood, animal hides and a deer head above the bar that I swear winked at me.
Cabin Five is right in the heart of Toronto’s club district but it is decidedly different from most of their competitors in the ‘hood. You won’t find jacked-​up bouncers outside, and rather than red carpet you have to make your way up a narrow fire-​escapesque flight of metal stairs. They are less treacherous than may sound, but ladies may want to lead their consorts in case of any «spillage».
I came here for a special event (so no cover) and this place was packed to the gills. Even slammed, the bartenders were speedy and polite. The long bar never seemed to get too crowded. There are small seating areas throughout the space as well. If you hate clubs but need to take someone clubbing, meet your compromise.
Obligatory Title Pun: This CABIN’ll give you a FEVER.
Menu Readability: None that I could see.
Need to mention: They have a coatcheck.
What this place teaches me about myself: I don’t always club, but when I do, I make it a bar that doesn’t resemble as club whatsoever.

I went to Cabin Five on a Friday, and had a surprisingly good time!
I’m not super in to the whole «clubbing» thing, so when my roommates friends visited, and they changed the plans to «dancing» I can’t say I was thrilled. However, we decided to try out Cabin Five and had a great time!
Though I do agree that the stairs going in are completely ridiculous for any establishment with alcohol, they were kind of hilarious and fun. We paid $ 10 cover (annoying, since guest list apparently doesn’t get you anything), and even when I tried to play the «It’s my birthday» card (ok, it wasn’t my birthday), I still had to pay the full $ 10.
When we got into the bar, I was immediately HORRIFIED that I had paid $ 10, as there were ACTUALLY only four other people in the entire place! We were trying to think of an escape plan, but decided to stick it out, and I’m happy I did! It got packed around 12:30, and a ton of Canuks fans celebrating a win came in which really added to the fun, casual atmosphere. We ended up dancing until around 2:30, and the place was still packed.
The main drawback of this place was that the DJ was switching songs all over the place, which is sooooo annoying. I see that tons of others have commented on the same thing (I now hope the DJ reads this and fixes it!).
I love a place where I can go, dance, have cheap drinks, AND wear flats the whole time without feeling like a fool.
Bonus: drinks were only $ 3.50, which made the $ 10 cover seem much more legitimate.

I’m in full agreement that this place has some flaws like higher cover, spindly stairs and epicly small bathrooms for the ladies, etc.
But I think a real testament to the club is that you can have an amazingly fun time anyways! You know what? Maybe the small bathroom just adds to experience. Like when a couple friends need to talk, squishing into a broom closet of a washroom is hilarious.
The music was a upbeat mix of old and new. My only problem was sometimes I just wanted to hear the full song but sometimes it was gone before the chorus even kicked in! The DJ was nice though. He let my hide my coat in his booth.
Also, I like the entrance! It’s a bit confusing to get to considering there’s no sign on the street but once you’re guided in the right direction, you feel pretty cool strutting up that alley. It feels like a secret! And then you walk up and see a rustic but hip room that’s open yet intimate. The décor is definitely a new take on what a club is supposed to look like and I appreciate the risk taken.
The crowd was really fun and friendly. What more can we ask for? I would definitely come back.

Frat House feel
DJ spinning an awkward hodge podge of music –Shania Twaine — cut — now britney spears — cut — now some random rapper — cut — now Miley Cyrus. yes, bad ALL bad
WORST DJ on the PLANET. WORST = I’m still unsure why I told him his music made no sense (he must know this). His response: People come here for this type of mix. REALLY? Who are these people — are they def?
Bartenders — fine, they’re friendly
Metal Staircase — seems like a fire hazard and when does this type of staircase make sense when there’s alcohol involved.
$ 10 cover — should be free
THIS PLACE SUX! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

It’s funny because I agree with each and every statement Katrina L. has made about this place…
— Back alley potholes and metal staircases are a stupid idea for a club
— The bathroom setup is a bit stupid and awkward with the woman’s bathroom consisting of two (SMALL AS HELL) stalls
— Cover was $ 10 which I guess is normal for most clubs but I typically go to dive bars with little or no cover
–There is also no bank machine in the club
Despite all of this I chose to give it 3 stars because:
— I was expecting the worse of the worse for a bar in clubland and I had a blast here
— There was no lineups and no attitude at the door
— The atmosphere was cozy and didn’t feel pretentious
— I thoroughly enjoyed the décor
— They didn’t have coat check but the bartender let us put our stuff behind her bar for the entire night
— Although some of the transitions were a bit awkward I felt the music was a good mix of new music and old school classics (I actually screamed out to a friend «didn’t this song play at our grade 8 graduation?!»
In the end clubland is not my cup of tea but it’s nice to know that if I must venture there I have a few options that won’t make me want to kill myself!

The newly opened club is part of the Fifth Social Club building with its entrance in the same alleyway off of Duncan. First of all, the alley is littered with what I call «potholes» for pedestrians. How can someone walk through here with heels on? Very carefully, so after almost killing myself walking to the door I get to this nondescript entrance with a bouncer and some velvet rope. We had guestlist so no line up and just flashed an ID and we were in.
If you think the pedestrian potholes were bad, well going up 2 flights of metal GRATED stairs, IN HEELS no less will change your mind. It’s very rustic to have that grated stair and walkway but you’re opening a nightclub where girls (inebriated) are walking in heels… they may kill themselves on these stairs… And on top of that, it is really narrow and it’s the only entrance and exit.
Upon entering the actual club, it is a tiny hallway which leads to the cash register where you must pay a $ 10 cover to get through the Anthony Michael Hall security guard. Everyone crowds here and it gets very chaotic and disorganized. There’s a bar located not 30 feet across from the cash register and is rammed with people. Do they know there’s another bar further into the club?
Inside the club, is a whole other story. There are cowhides lining the wall and floors are made of rough timber, moose antlers and even a wagon serves as a «keg bar». Ok no problem, I just paid $ 10 to go to Montana’s Cookhouse, great. Not only that but to get to the main bar and «dance area» you must descend 3 steps, ok again, girls, heels, inebriated, not good. There you reach the main bar, to get to the dance floor, another step down. Who designed this?! This is the kicker, the most dangerous thing I saw in this club or any club for that matter, in the corner of the dance floor where the upper floor looks down on it, the «fence» random ends with 2 horizontal poles sticking out… can anyone say possible head injury?
On Saturday nights, there are drink specials: $ 3 Jacks, $ 4 drafts and $ 5.50 bar rail. Decent. The music is… awkward. It’s rock music that has a dance remix. While I was there I heard Red Hot Chili Peppers, some other band I didn’t recognize and just in general crappy rock remixes. On the screen, they played a cowboy movie… or something to that effect. It was Gene Wilder playing a racist cowboy that hangs out with the KKK and then all of a sudden there are men in top hats and suits doing a tap dance number. I have no idea what I was watching and was getting quite confused.
The bathrooms are a gem. I reached them to see a line up of girls, of course. But the clincher, the men’s washroom has a swinging door that opens to sinks and 2 stalls PLUS a separate room with a curtain door for urinals, this is just asking for impatient girls to come in and use their facilities. And they did, since the «ladies room» consisted of 2 separate washrooms, that’s it. WHY are the men’s washrooms bigger than the ladies!!! This infuriates me.
Leaving the club was going down the same metal grated walkway and stairs, this is super safe for people who have been drinking. And if someone happens to be walking up at the same time, well one of you has got to step aside because this lane is not made for 2.
I came for a friend’s birthday and I would have probably never came here on my own but now I know what it’s like and I’ll never have to come back. The crowd was decent, lots of people with short fuses though as many people almost got into potential fist throwing situations. I wasn’t feeling the vibe that got from this club which rarely ever happens with me, this is definitely not worth a second try.