The Greene Turtle

We’ve been here a bunch of times, trying lots of things on the menu. We had high hopes that this would be a great experience like we had at another location in Maryland. Twice, I ordered crab cakes, and both times it actually looked like a pile of dog crap. That’s not even a harsh exaggeration. We love the crab dip, but three times they served us burnt pretzels with it. Every single time we’ve come just 2 of us, or a large group of friends, all different times and different days of the week, we’ve had waitresses that just can’t get it together. This visit, it took 15 minutes to put in a drink order, and 45 minutes to get our appetizer and sweetener for tea. She kept forgetting parts of our order and we had to keep reminding her. An hour and a half later, we’re done picking at our food that is not good at all. We’re ready to run for the door.

Overpriced poor quality food and not ready for primetime staff. Waiter took awhile to grab our orders and food was slow to arrive… plus he charged us twice one of the orders. Not a great experience, don’t see this place lasting more than 18 months.

I’ve always been happy with Greene Turtle– went often in Arlington. So, I knew what to expect, and this place is pretty much par for the course.
Sometimes service is slow, especially during a big game (or when they first opened, and it’s late at night with skeleton staff). Nothing worth complaining much about.
The food is typical bar food, but enjoyable. They’ve even added some healthy options.
Some of the staff is clueless though. Last time we were there, we ordered an asian shrimp salad, and asked for it without carrots. The waitress was like «the salad is pre-​mixed, so half the salad will be gone» and said it multiple times, as if explaining that would make my husband less allergic to carrots– just bring it out anyway! But again, it wasn’t a big deal, the food was fine, so it’s fine.
My only complaint is that there are TVs at every table, which I get is a sports bar thing BUT each TV has its own volume, so if the table next to you thinks their game is the most important thing in the world, you will hear about it. I don’t think that’s a pleasant experience, even for people who want to have 100 TVs playing a bunch of different games during dinner — no one wants to hear 100 games. And the sound travels.
Overall, it’s a sports bar– decent food, standard prices, you’re not getting a gourmet meal, but some of the people in these other reviews need to loosen up.

My wife and I had really high hopes for this place, but have been let down twice now. It’s not horrible, but I feel like I’ve been duped when I think about how much I spent while walking out the door. The first time, the service was horrible. I get it, it’s a new place and probably first time servers getting hired. However, when the place was empty, there’s no excuse for not being attentive to the table. Last night, ended with hair in the french fries. The server again, no personality, very robotic and uninviting. The beer was just a little colder than room temperature (check your blue moon kegs). We were offered a free desert to make up for the hairy french fries, but the cookie under the ice cream was overcooked and hard to eat. The food in general is ok. I was a little put off by the pulled pork sandwich that looked like the pork was a formed patty that was simply defrosted, tossed on the flattop for a couple minutes and drizzled with BBQ sauce. The location of this place is great, they have the military base right there, but words going to get around that it’s not that great and we should go back to Glory Days, 10 minutes down the road. I had high hopes for this place, but they are quickly fading.

I am changing my review.
The service improved but I think not enough bc the restaurant was empty when I arrived at 7PM to watch a Caps game. I think the dining area had four tables of patrons and the bar sporadically full.
We were served drinks and food promptly, great improvement from the last time.
The server was excellent, constantly checking in on us.
The food came out a little slow, in relation to the lack of business.
Had the fish sandwich, very good but not really filling if you are hungry.
Overall, improved from the disaster of their recent opening.

I’m actually baffled by the reviews so far.
My fiancée and I came on a Friday afternoon during happy hour excited to try the shell bowl but unfortunately you need 4 people to order it.
Cliff notes:
Rail drinks are 3 bucks… Standard.
Loaded tots for 3 bucks… SO GOOD.
Hog hammers… They come with onion straws and 3 short ribs for $ 7-​worth it!
I can’t speak on everything before/​after happy hour but what we had was DELISH.
4 drinks and 2 apps for $ 20? I’m OK with that.

Tried the restaurant today for the first time. The food was good. The hostess staff was unorganized. There were several clean empty tables however instead of being seated the hostess was taking names and handing out pagers. One other thing… Thank you for offering a free meal to Vets. On that note the restaurant was not prepared with extra servers.

So like a lot of folks, we were excited to see a sports bar opening up down the street but after our visit It’s anything but a sports bar. We went there on a Friday night, MLB ALCS game on and some college football games on and nobody was watching, volume was off and they were blaring club music. Not family appropriate club music either, like wanna be, overly sexualized club music. My wife and i just started laughing as our 6yr old daughter with a chicken strip in her hand started dancing to the lyrics of some «booty» song. We laughed so i guess that’s a plus for the place. Food was average at best, it took along time though, and honestly we could deal with that, but we couldn’t deal with the atmosphere. It felt like we were in a scene from Idiocracy. I might go back in a few weeks to see if it changes.

Menu says happy hour «domestic beers» are $ 3. I ordered a Heavy Seas brewed in Maryland but they didn’t give me the happy hour price because it wasn’t «domestic.» Last time I checked, Maryland is «domestic».
Appetizer portions are pretty small given the prices.

FYI. At the time of this post, the wrong address is shown. It’ll send you to the Hayfield Shoppers by Center if using GPS. Plug in 7879 Heneska Loop or Hilltop Village Center.

We were really hoping this would be a good place to watch the game but there’s some serious rough spots they need to fix before we’ll be back. The food was bland and poorly executed.
Poor planning in seating led to a long wait. I saw groups of 2 seated at tables for 6. The tables are all moveable and there was plenty of room for more 2 person tables so there’s no reason to waste space this way. Clearly staff needs to pre-​game how they’ll handle Sunday football crowds if they want to be a sports bar.
I had the veggie wrap with «signature» kettle chips. The wrap was merely ok, bland with too much shredded cheddar stuffed inside. Chips were definitely not fresh made and the plating made it look like there was hardly any chips.
My dining partner had wings. The chicken was ok but served covered in cold sauce. Some limp lettuce under the chicken was a gross and unnecessary plating decision.
My 1.5 year old daughter had chicken and fries. She loves chicken and fries but even she found these to be unappealing. The fries were off and too salty. They did come with some apple slices which was nice.

This would be a place I would bring a few friends to hang out. They have a nice sports bar, and a nice variety of alcoholic drinks. The food is average, this restaurant reminds me of Glory Days Grill (Sports Bar). They have nice staff/​scenery. The manager was very kind and came by to check on us after our meal. I would recommend this restaurant for/​on a night you want to just wear sweat pants and chill!

Thursday night — sat in the bar area to get the happy hour specials and this seemed like a mistake. Service was horrible! It took nearly 20 minutes to just put in a food order. Lots of servers standing around but no one to coordinate work effort. We sat by while 3 servers were about 20ft away just standing at the kitchen entrance waiting for some customers. If there was someone to direct efforts, these long extraordinary waits could be avoided. Haven’t been served food yet but based on the service I’m not optimistic. Been in the restaurant and seated now for 40 minutes and managed to get drinks and put in food order. No appetizers or food in over 40 minutes! Does this sound reasonable under any circumstances? In my estimate the place is only about half full and has plenty of staff but no organization, at all. In the end, we spent 1hr 20 minutes and got drinks and appetizers. Server did not get our entrée order in and told us this at the 1hr 10 min mark. Definitely will not be back. Too many other better restaurants nearby and there is no reason to waste either time or money at this place. To be fair, the manager did catch us before we left and offered an apology and some gift certificates. I guess we may have to come back to use the certificates but I can only hope they fix this place before we do.

We went to The Greene Turtle tonight thinking it would be nice to try something new. It turns out we shouldn’t have bothered. What a crapstorm this place was. The food was absolutely TERRIBLE (you know it’s bad when the coleslaw is warmer than the fries). Beyond that, while the server tried her best, she was incompetent to say the least. If she couldn’t remember the orders without writing them down, perhaps she needs a pen and paper. And if all of this isn’t bad enough, when I sent my food back, the manager came and comped our dinners and offered to make me something to take home. I ordered six chicken wings to go (that he said would be there in five minutes). After 20 minutes and another beer, we said goodbye and he started chasing us as he FINALLY had the good sense to bring us the «free» food. I said, thanks, but no thanks and we left. While I realize they’ve only been open a week, it will be quite some time before we give them another chance.