Vel’s Amigos

Well, things haven’t changed much since the last time we were here. They are open longer hours, which is good. However, the food is still very very very very BLAND for a Mexican restaurant. Have you ever had a loose hamburger meat maid-​rite on a tortilla? Well, that is pretty much what their taco is like. It really would not take much to add some zing — even some mild zing — to the food. By default, they give you salsa but its not spicy at all — basically just tomato sauce. Ask for HOT salsa. Trust me — it won’t be HOT, but will be more like typical MILD salsa, but it will at least give the food a much needed kick. I really want to like this place. The prices are wonderful. The bar is good. The bar tender has tats and is cool. The service is good. The only downside is that the food is like bland hospital food. If you are willing to overlook the lack of spice, then try them out and see for yourself. But, I would suggest you ask for some HOT salsa to have at the ready — you will likely need it. I’d recommend sticking to the ala carte menu so you can design the options you want. There are no substitutes on their meal menu, so going ala carte was the best option for me.
I recently learned why there are no substitues — I have it on good authority from someone who worked there the food is mostly premade. Pop it in the microwave and bam! «Mexican» food. Yuk! Look, the food is not terrible, but it is also not flavorful. I’ve had TV dinners be more tasty, and now I can understand why. We won’t be going back. A place that tries to pass itself off as a Mexican restaurant should, at the very least, make things fresh.
Lackluster, subpar, less than mediocre, barely tolerable, flavorless, pathetic. Best sums it up. On a positive note, no one got ill.

This is the most pathetic attempt at Mexican food I have ever had.
They don’t allow for any substitutions, and you can’t even leave things off — — which is a red flag for OUR MEALS ARE PREPARED (AND POSSIBLY FROZEN) AHEAD OF TIME & NOT MADE FRESH TO ORDER.
Just about everything is mediocre at best. I have had just about everything on the menu at least once, as I have a (crazy) family member who is obsessed with this place. Tacos, enchiladas, fajitas, rice… all mediocre.
The chips aren’t even warm. Yet another red flag for a horrendous Mexican restaurant — room temperature chips. Get a friggin’ heat lamp and at least attempt to fool me into thinking you lazy SOB’s made the chips in house!
This sorry excuse for a restaurant doesn’t even have margaritas. In fact, no liquor license, so no liquor of any kind at all.
This garbage might impress Fort Madisonites, but as someone who has ventured beyond the town borders and had delicious Mexican food, this swill just doesn’t cut it.
Also — they don’t accept anything other than cash. No checks or credit cards! Just what kind of business are they running…
The only reason they are getting 1 star and not 0 is because 1) the system won’t let me select 0 starts, and (2) their apple-​filled churros are actually quite tasty