Oui Monsieur!

Oui Monsieur? More like Non Monsieur!
This has to top my list as one of the all time worst experiences in any London restaurant and possibly ever!
Group of 12 celebrating a friend’s birthday with dinner and drinks was the plan. When we arrived there were two other large parties booked for the front room, us in the back. A fourth large group reservation arrived while we were there. With all these reservations you would expect most restaurants to have purchased extra food and maybe got an extra person to help serve.
Well not this bunch! Less than an hour after arriving we started being told that things on the menu weren’t available on the menu anymore. It’s a small plate/​tapas kind of place so this put a serious damper in our eating for the night.
Eventually we were told all that was left was bar snacks. Like nuts and olives!!! It was 9pm!!! That fourth group had just arrived only to be told there was no food but the chef was going to «get more». Considering the grocery options at that time of night I didn’t like the sound of that.
They whipped up some things that were not on the menu. For the most part they were edible if not exciting. Great presentation! (which is why I gave them a star) and then ask for £80 for the extra food including a 12.5% gratuity. We paid no gratuity that night at all. It wasn’t earned!
Beyond the food being bad and poorly organized are the general issues with the layout of the place. There is ONE toilet for the whole restaurant! So there were frequently queues of people standing in our area which was already too crowded for us and the nearly constant flow of waiters to and from the kitchen that had to cut right through us!!! Constantly interrupting our conversations and nearly causing some plate related accidents!
We are a generous group of friends and we like to frequent local establishments that have something to offer that is better than your average fare but this night we ALL walked out saying how terrible our experiences were. We will never go back there!!!
On the plus side, the food was presented very well and the grilled squid (when not served cold) was exceptional! None of these are enough to get you in the door though. Non monsieur.

‘You need to check out the bathroom, it’s like Arkham Asylum.’
Oui Madame! is as fun and ridiculous as the name suggests. We were en route to a nearby tapas bar when the sidewalk seating and glasses of red wine caught my eye. A little bit of Parisian living always does you good.
Oui Madame has a French sharing plates menu and full restaurant menu of delicious sounding foods, but we were there specifically for house wines and pommes frites with blue cheese dip. And so we did. Several of glasses of white in, we realised that a bottle would have been a better idea. Luckily they were only about £4.50 each.
I love the vibe of this place. It’s very cool with bartenders who clearly have travelled here from the beat generation with lots of jazz music, sunglasses indoors and Heisenberg pork pie hats. We even got a juggling show at one point. Everyone is young, European and chic.
As stylish and Dalston-​hip the interior of Oui is, the bathroom is like some weird crack den, all black lighting and questionable aesthetics. I loved it.