Edinburgh Castle

This place is always reliable. The exterior is a heritage building, one of the few standing in the area of town. As you walk through the doors your greeted with the shabby-​chic interior, from the well stained tables to the worn carpet and sticky floor around the bar. You’ll not have a problem finding a seat in the main bar as, well, no one ever goes there. The same can’t be said for the pokie area, however we’ll get to that later. The highlight of this spacious area is definitely the Juke Box which carries a good amount of Heavy Metal records and seems to be stuck on incredibly loud volume.
The bar itself is stocked with only the finest NZ beer, Lion Red and Stienlager to name a couple and a limited range of spirits which they charge an incredibly low amount for. You’ll find the bar staff lacking in both hospitality and any kind of grasp of the English language. The two guys I’ve been served by seemed to be legitimately upset in having to come out from the back and interact with customers. I can only assume that I interrupted some quest on World of Warcraft and they were about to steal the sword of Mordor or some shit.
The outside area has a kind of ambiance that’s hard to put into words. to get there you’ll have to pass the half dozen roadworkers/​pimps, 6 beers in no matter what time of the day it is, in the corner, half inside and half out. If you survive them you’ll be greeted by the kind of deck furniture you’d find in a flat in Timaru, but, it does the job, you can sit down and enjoy your cheap drink. The views from the outside are great, there’s a fair amount of road — noise. To one side you have a concrete wall, framed by the industrial building behind. The real feature of the outdoor area is that the building next doors kitchen window looks down into the courtyard. You’ll be thoroughly entertained when watching a heavy set Maori woman prepare her partner his evening meal. Between tending to her Kai and menacing at you out the window she’ll get her partner — a Santa Clause looking motherfucker to taste test the pork dish she’s working on. As soon as the sun goes down she’ll ask you politely to shut the fuck up and keep the fucking noise down you cunts.
Before you head out of this fine establishment, it’s mandatory that that you stop by the bright lights of the pokie area. A word to the wise, if you have any cigarettes, be prepared to be fleeced out of every last night. In the pokie area you’ll find a mixture of sickness beneficiaries and ladies of the night. These aren’t the lipstick and lace hookers from Playboy Latenight you remember as a kid. This is more like the time you went to Sunset Strip on Albert Street in high school and you had no idea it was c section scar and stretch marks night. These nightcrawlers are all waiting for their shift to start so they can go out and sell what little soul they have left. If you’re really lucky you’ll get to see an altercation over «ciggie money» or one of them try to claim their cup full of winnings at the bar, only to have one of the bar staff find a lighter buried in a cup when they go to weigh it. The only thing that makes a charming night at this establishment better is getting a toothless grin from one of these ladies and an offer to be taken round the back.
All in all, recommended,

If you’re looking for a classy night out this isn’t for you. This is where you go to drink cheap plonk and have the kind of conversations that seem deeply meaningful when you are drunk with strangers. Expect to exchange numbers with lots of people with promises to get together and hang out properly soon, and then promptly forget who wrote on your hand and why the next morning. And you’ll think to yourself «Nope, never again.» Then next week, you’re back.
Well, if you live in the area anyway.
They’ve got really good bar food and Andy and Chris (nightshift love!) are great people. Outside seating at night is lovely with the year-​round xmas lights.
Hahahaha Unilocal is asking me if this place has a coat check! Right, somewhere between the pokies and the pool table I’m sure.

I once played at a weird «open mic» type of thing here, except we got paid to play after a couple of punters had a go at singing. The night went well, there ended up with a bit of a fight on stage, and at the end some gang members stood over the guy who was running the whole show and he had to pay them what he was going to pay us to get his gear back. Since then, the Edinburgh castle has got rid of the stage we played on and put in pokie machines, and, oddly enough — introduced a chinese restaurant. I’m not sure whose idea this was — the place doesn’t exactly scream «lovely place for a dinner innit?»
They have free pool nights on mondays which is pretty cool. Their happy hour specials are great, and it’s not a bad place to come and sink a few for a couple of hours. But it’s no nightlife hotspot.

«Seedy» is the first adjective that pops into my head when travelling past the dilapidated Edinburgh Castle. Seedy in a «This-​is-​an-​old-​gaming/​sports-​bar» kind of way and you get what you see.
Located on the corner of Newton Rd and Symonds St, I have often passed but never entered. Inside is a clean, if dated, bar which is surprisingly spacious. There is plenty of seating, an outdoor courtyard, a pool table and, the pièce de résistance, a pinball ball machine. Oh, so it’s old and sticky and needs to be plugged in via an extension cord to the kitchen. The entire reason this pub exists is to drink cheap booze and get rowdy, not to worry about the décor and Instagramming plates of food.
Edinburgh Castle is a pub for sports fiends and pokie players (generally over 40).