Perch Cafe

This place was always packed and the food was great! Decent coffee and good French toast!
We went here a few times and are sad to see that the place shutdown especially since it was always packed…
Perch, you will be missed…

NOOOOOOO!
I can’t believe The Perch is gone.
It was a Park Slope staple in my opinion. I will always miss their Sunday Night Open Mics. Kimmy worked those things. RIP

Heyyy, remember me? I used to live in Park Slope, then moved to Long Island and no longer really had anything worth reviewing?
Oh. I’m back. And six blocks from Perch and their fantastic nachos. And Kelso on tap (though the rest of the selection is boring… well, ok, so is Kelso, but it’s good.) Holla, Brooklyn.

Thought we’d try it here since the Chef was on Chopped. Came here on a Saturday afternoon, for a late Brunch. Already expected a long wait to get seated. It was crowded, but we had the option to wait at the bar or on the sofa/​lounge area towards the back. After being served water and waiting less than 10 minutes at the bar we were seated.
Chairs and Table upfront, bar/​counter in the middle, lounge/sofas’s toard the back and a open seating garden at the back. After being seated at our table we ordered fairly quickly, but it took forever and a day to get our food. A table next to us became available, they ordered and received their food prior to us… Long wait which was ridiculous. We guessed that they forgot to put in our order and when they did realize it they approached us and said our order will be out soon, but it didn’t. Second approach from a server was when they noticed a frown on my face as I was looking at the food on the table next to us… Don’t think it takes 45 minutes to make breakfast food…
We read the reviews and tried what was best recommended. At first I was tied between the Baked Eggs with Leeks & Smoked Salmon (2 eggs, creamed leeks, smoked salmon, rosemary focaccia) and the Eggs Florentine (2 poached eggs, lemon spinach, spoon bread, hollandaise, roasted potatoes). I opted for the later since it was only available on weekends. My bf ordered the Baked Eggs w/​Leeks & Smoked Salmon. We also ordered the Sourdough Waffle with Raspberry Butter, which was good, but not great. The raspberry was too sour for me so I had to keep dipping it in the syrup.
However, I would order the Eggs Florentine again. The hollandaise sauce was good and the spoon bread was sweet (reminded me of my friends corn bread). It was a nice mixture and different from other Eggs Florentine that I’ve had. The Baked Eggs w/​Leeks & Smoked Salmon tasted like any other dish consisting of Eggs and Smoked Salmon. I did however tasted a hint of sweetness, possibly from the onions, which is what I told my bf and liked.
Be prepared to smell like you went to a smoke house because it is exactly what it is a smokehouse (due to the poor ventilation). All you smelled was smoke from the food being cooked. It was raining outside, but I can smell the smoke on our clothes even after we got home.
I would have given them a 3.5 — 4 stars, but because it took forever to get our food I have to give them a 2. You get food faster at a Denny’s, granted that their food is not the same, but 45 minutes to get French Toast and some eggs no way!
I would think that a place that took forever to serve the food would try to compensate and give something to their customers, but I wasn’t surprised they didn’t offer anything while waiting…
+ or — Food
+ Backyard Garden
+ Servers were nice
— Needs to change their air filter.
— Speed of service.
— Cleanliness.

When I awoke with a vicious hangover and the need to feed (on bloody mary’s) I rounded up my neighborhood GFs for a traditional boozy brunch. After a short wait we were seated on the patio by the friendly and attentive host. He was awesome… our waitress not so much.
The baked eggs with smoked salmon was a good choice. The bloody mary’s were good once I kicked it up a notch with some hot sauce.
Service was slow from start to finish. We waited over a half an hour after placing our orders, and we ended up barging up front to pay the check because we couldn’t wait any longer. Luckily the only thing I had on my agenda was frozen yogurt, a date with my bed, and the first season of Sex & the City on DVD.
Wow I am officially a parody of myself :(

My experience eating at Perch was pretty pitiful.
I came with a craving for French Toast. Upon arrival, I noticed someone’s portion, which was small and burnt. Craving averted.
I opted to go with the Croque Madame (I refuse to look up the spelling — forgive me) because I generally love runny yolks. Also, as requested by my girlfriend, we got a side of «roasted» potatoes. She ordered a small cheese grits, and a side of bacon.
First, I am not bothered by a lack of cleanliness, but for those of you who are, our coffee cups were obviously stained on the outside — either permanently or they were just not washed. The coffee itself was decent. The grits were described to me as «disgusting», and were left half uneaten. I would say they needed a lot more salt or butter or something. The bacon was burnt.
My sandwich contained some very tasty ham (obviously from an on-​the-​bone ham, and not deli style). However, the bechemel sauce was congealed (?) or something. The taste was fine, but it was obviously left sitting. Also, my «poached» egg, seemed like a fried one. The yolk was visible and hard. This entire thing was disappointing — I had ordered the Croque Madame b/​c I had seen someone make that dish from a FOOD TRUCK the night before on TV. And their version look superior in all respects.
The potatoes were pretty infuriating. They were boiled cubes. At no point had they seen an oven or the underside of the salamander. I would have been more satisfied with burning the $ 3 (!! for boiled potatoes! ARGH!!). Seriously, I would be embarrassed to serve that and call them roasted potatoes. Pathetic.
Lastly, the servers, while sweet and well-​meaning, are out of their element. There was some spillage, delivery to a wrong table and general clumsiness. I didn’t hold it against them though.

Food is good, service is not. Plates and portions are small and simple. No extras, just what it says on the menu. Sandwich and a plate.
Not much to expand on, as I really don’t enjoy stopping in here for meals anymore. Too many unfriendly service encounters.

My boss and I stopped here during a weekday around brunch time for a bite to eat after meeting with clients. The weather was wonderful, so we were able to sit in the back, outside.
He ordered: Bird in a Nest with Bacon
I ordered: Baked Eggs with Leeks and Smoked Salmon
His portion was SO small. It was literally a slice of toast, an over-​easy egg plopped on top with two strips of bacon. I suppose if you’re looking for a literal bite to eat, this is the perfect choice.
I loved my choice. It was filling (almost too much food, really) and perfectly seasoned; a must-​try if you like salmon.
The coffee was, «eh». Nothing to write home about. Would have rather waited to cross by a Starbucks.
The service was just ‘OK’. Again, nothing memorable.
Pro: Menu selections, location, and overall ambiance
Con: The credit card machine wasn’t working when we were there. Would have been nice to know before we ordered and ate. Who carries cash anymore these days?
When we left, the owner ran down the street yelling to us about giving her the bill back. My boss had taken the detailed portion to use for expensing when we returned back to the office. The owner needed it for auditing. I think this is a case of Perch Café investing in a computer or carbon paper.

It’s a cute place, the kind that you’d think would serve great tasting breakfast items. The food was absolutely disgraceful. Between us we ordered 2 egg sandwiches (different variations) and french toast. The french toast looked average, I didn’t taste it. Basic sliced bread, not challah or thick toast.
The «egg sandwiches» were unacceptable. First of all, I’m not even sure they were real eggs? It looks like someone poured fake egg mix in a square and let it overcook. How difficult and/​or expensive is it to fry up a real egg? The bread was bland as well, but the «egg» was just atrocious.
This was one of the worst breakfasts I’ve ever had — honestly.

There always seems to be so many places tucked along the street waiting for you to stop in.
While the food was standard, and the coffee was okay, I guess the real charm of this place is its cuteness. The birds, colors – all very simple without trying too hard.
The memorable thing about the BLT was the rosemary focaccia. Yums.
My friend ordered the Morning Wrap which was stuffed with eggs, avocado and other things. While it was a bit heavy, it was pretty tasty and sure to be filling.
All in all, simple and well-​priced by Park Slope standards.

Perch is good.
The food is good, the service good, the coffee, good, the décor is good. I’m glad I tried it, but found the prices a little more than what I what have expected for what I ate.
Nothing truly stood out, but I’m glad I tried it, I will most likely not return, not in protest or dislike, but simply to try other brunch spots.
I do recommend the BLT if you go.
Chips and salsa for bunch is always ok with me though, thanks Perch.

Came by here early on Tuesday morning for a post-​call breakfast. My friend wanted a beer and I wanted some eggs. There are few places that serve beer and breakfast at 9am on a weekday.
This place had so much promise. Everyone is friendly and the restaurant is cute. It’s charming and well designed with the little birdies perched on a limb theme (you can buy all kinds of cute perched birds bling). But the food isn’t awesome. At least breakfast wasn’t awesome.
I really don’t think you can claim yourself to be a breakfast place without a grill or stove. Seriously, BAKED eggs? I ordered the birds in a nest and while it was cute, the eggs didn’t taste right and the bread was just too crunchy and overbaked. You can’t really get runny eggs or properly scrambled eggs from the oven.
You also can’t get good crunchy bacon from the oven or the microwave or wherever they cooked this tough bacon.
The grits were terrible. I love grits and these were not good. I don’t know if it is because they made the wrong cheese choice but it was flavorless and had chunks of gooey cheese. I think it had just too much cream that made it taste gummy. I added more butter and salt but nothing could save these grits.
My friend got the huevos rancheros. He said it was ok but couldn’t tell the eggs were off since it was smothered in so much sour cream, salsa and hot sauce.
The fresh squeezed OJ was refreshing and made me temporarily forget about the rest of the mediocre meal. But with the $ 4 price tag for a less than 8oz cup, it added insult to my injured palate.

I suspect I chose poorly. I hate that – Perch looked like it had promise, and both my husband and our midwife enjoyed their meals – but I kind of hated my grits. Far, far too much cream. What is it with grits in the northland and the desire to drown them in cream? Butter? Bring it on. Cheese? Yes please. Cream? The hell?
The décor is darling, the waitress was sweet, and I had no compunctions about bringing a kid in there (which is not always the case in darling cafés). I just hated the grits.

Perch ranks in my top 5 «go to» spots for brunch in the Slope. It can get a bit hectic on the w’ends but for 2 it’s usually not more than a 10 min wait.
If you’re looking for yummy comfort food this is a great choice. The savory cheese grits are the pièce de résistance for me… they never disappoint. Breakfast sammys are all delicious (make sure to spend the extra .50 to get yours adorned with the caramelized onions & jalapenos for some zip).
I have yet to make it back for lunch or dinner but the menu looks solid and steers toward American comfort food with European accents.
Across the board prices are very reasonable, especially given the portion size which makes most dishes easily sharable and cost-​effective.
In true Slope fashion they offer a wide range of entertainment from kid sing-​a-​longs to open mic to literary nights. The online event page is kept up to date so you may want to check for the latest offerings.
But beware, this seems to be a favorite of PS Breeders & Brallers so if your tolerance of grits n’ nibblets is low then you may want to reconsider (although I did read a review where they apparently offer adult only hours).

12−5pm on a Friday: no kids, no strollers, good coffee, wifi, snacks/​sandwiches if you want, plugs, calm, EXCELLENT.
Why on earth did I wait so long??? I will be back like all the time!

Somehow Unilocal reviewers has said this is «bad for groups,» but yesterday a crew of nine of my friends showed up & only had a ten minute wait, despite it being the middle of bunch-​rush. Still cash only, though, sadly.
Also, spoonbread!

This is a good spot to grab a meal if you have kids (and if you are hanging out in Park Slope you probably do). There is a nice loungy area in the back where you can enjoy a cuppa while the kids crawl around. The automatically bring cups of water with lids and straws to the little one and they have crayons for chewing on (oops I mean drawing with)
You can also get a table or grab a seat at the bar. The food here is all well done even if not spectacular. My husband gives the huevos rancheros a big thumbs up. I think the benedicts on corn bread are weird but perhaps you enjoy the sweet/​savory combo that so many do.

There’s a fascinating concept that I discovered today — the practice of the ‘Martini Play Date’. No, this is not a romantic fling a la Sex and the City, rather a way for desperate parents to entertain themselves, and their hell spawn in a mutually destructive manner. Simply put, two or more sets of parents will force their kids to play with each other, while the parents force Martini’s down their throats to cope with the pain of parenthood.
Perch is a bar that is tailor made for this practice. The venue is kid friendly, with its small collection of toys, open play areas, and child friendly policies. It’s also adult friendly, with happy hour specials, well made cocktails, and an eclectic assortment of brews on tap.
Even if you’re not a parent, like yours truly, there’s a lot to love about Perch. A serene back patio is a perfect place to sip on cocktails, while noshing on the upscale American pub grub fair, such as a beautifully made goat cheese flat bread, smothered in fresh tomato sauce and roasted winter vegetables.
Thankfully, I don’t have any rotten little crotch fruit to parent, but when that time comes, I’ll keep Perch in mind for the ideal venue for the Martini Play Date.

In attendance:
(1) Girl who swallowed two bowling balls and was fanning herself continuously, but remained fetching nonetheless.
(1) Totally snarky dudaciousness, replete with egregious coolness consignments.
(1) Recalcitrant Manhattan-​ite, perspicacious and generally disinterested in travel to outer boroughs for foodstuffs of the comestible brunch variety.
(2) Unborn mini-​weatnesses, unfrosted (at least at the moment; the future may hold other things).
Details:
I love brunch, I really do. It’s one of my favorite weekend rituals. Generally speaking, though, brunch is a roll-​out-​of-​bed-​from-​a-​rough-​Friday/​Saturday-​night-​into-​the-​nearest-​place-​with-​good-​food-​and-​hair-​of-​the-​dog type meal.
There are, however, some rare and special circumstances (and mind you they are very few) under which I will actually travel to an outer borough to consume it. Some of these circumstances include being invited by a woman pregnant with twins. NOT JUST ANY WOMAN pregnant with twins, I’ll have you know. but the vivacious and fabulous Victoria H. V. herself, in this case. Her husband and knocker-​upper extraordinaire (pool boy notwithstanding) Snarky-​tatious V. was really just the icing on the proverbial cake, but nonetheless excellent.
On to the meal:
We were greeted by a lovely hostess who pointed us to the small lounge/​waiting area in the back where we could sip beverages warm and caffeinated while in waiting for a suitable and available table. CAFFEINE IS MY FRIEND. The latte was decent, if not remarkable, but conjured by a very attractive girl behind the bar.
Within fifteen minutes we were seated at a corner table and provided with menus. Sometimes that does happen in a restaurant. Shocking, I realize.
We consumed waffles and huevos of the rancheros variety. They were tasty, and decent hot sauce (i.e., not Tobasco) was provided to enhance the huevos. Snausages, bacons, (i.e., products of the porcine variety, a.k.a., PORK) were also consumed. All were reasonably tasty, and served with accuracy by a waitress with a sunny disposition. The mimosas I imbibed were muy delicioso, and were made with fresh OJ.
SO… if you’re in the neighborhood, whether by design or happenstance, I would recommend Perch as a worthy brunch spot. They even have stroller parking for those of you who come outfitted with progeny. Oh, and cappucino girl is HOT.

I’ve been to Perch a handful of times and it’s never been consistent.
The problems seems to be that there’s only one competent waitress, but luckily, she’s usually around. The first time I came, I watched as 3 hostess/​waitresses mulled around the front section amidst chaos. People who walked in would get seated faster than people waiting 20 minutes. I left in a fury. BUT, this waitress was managing the entire backside and backyard BY HERSELF.
Food is okay, and pretty good for the money. Sometimes I have a very large, satisfying meal, other times, I go to Bonnie’s Grill afterwards to round out my dinner with their delicious vegetarian chili cheese fries. Breakfast was good; it’s one of the few places on the Slope open for breakfast (around 7, I believe), although I had trouble procuring their hours online.
Note: Their «Small Breakfast» items of cheesy grits (I added ham), was giant. I took the rest with me to work and ate it for lunch, too.