Two Neat

A Mill Valley classic. Two Neat never disappoints, with their creative cards and gifts.
Their items add charm to any holiday or gift occasion.
And the folks who work there have a great attitude as well.
Tops all round.

Oh man! The Holiday cards selection this year is outrageously cool! I notice that someone took offense at the cards. Good. I’m glad someone has their outlet here, but to tell the truth, they don’t have to buy them, and that’s good too, because in general, the cards are not offensive, just funny! I’m so glad for this place (and I agree that some of them are over the top, but I just don’t buy them, and just look and appreciate the others!).

I don’t mind people poking fun at political figures but I draw the line at religion. I was totally offended by a stick on dress up Jesus on the cross. It was so disrespectful, a stick on sign that said «hang in there»…really. A stick on devil outfit and drag queen clothes. Do you think they would dare sell such a disgusting replica of Mohammed. Why do people think it is ok to offend Christians while if such an insult was thrown at a Muslim there would be riots in the street. I would be offended if they did this to any religious figure, but of course only Christians are fair game. These owners need to rethink some of their purchases and take this trash off of their shelves.

I love this store! I try to get all my cards here to support a locally owned business, but they also have a great selection of other items and gag gifts that are priced well, so what’s not to like? Owners are sweet and helpful, and it’s two minutes from my house. Part of MV’s charm for sure.

This store is so much fun. I do most of my card shopping here because there’s a great selection of funny and original cards for any occasion. I just wish the store hours were a little longer and they closed a little later to accomodate M-​F work schedules.

Agree 1,000% with what everyone says about the card selection here. Bob does a great job in carrying a wide range of EVERYTHING. .. local artists; hilarious profanity-​laced offerings; sections for every holiday and occasion you can think of. Also, a big SF Giants-​based selection of cards and gifts. The vibe here is awesome. Definitely worth a visit. If you can’t find several things here that tickle your fancy, you just might not be human.

Pretty cool card store. Had a LARGE selection or cards, especially the quirky, humorous kind that I do love so much, as well of other small, novelty items that make great gifts. Friendly staff and homely feel.

Totally fun/​somewhat salty collection of novelties and mostly greeting cards. Got my dad a birthday card here with a picture of Obama that said «I inhaled, that was the point.» Fantastic.

I hear this place calling my name in the middle of the night…
Have you ever wondered how much time you spend in the aisles of CVS Pharmacy or Rite Aid weeding through their cards, thinking «this is so DUMB/​not the sentiment I am thinking of»?
Spare yourself any further boredom and use the time to go to Downtown Mill Valley and visit this place.
It very well could just be me, because I have brought friends here who have had ‘enough’ after being here 10 minutes. I could stay for hours. There’s something about a place that sells X-​rated greeting cards and gag-​gifts that completely satisfies me.
Don’t worry, I think there were cards that were appropriate for my
«Easily Offended Super Religious Father’s Second Wife» as well, but I can’t quite remember. If not, just stop at Rite Aid real fast for that crap.

Perhaps this store should have been called «Too Neat» rather than «Two Neat.» This is a great store if you want to get a chuckle or two while strolling through downtown Mill Valley.
You’ll run a good chance of finding a one-​of-​a-​kind greeting card, with a punch of personality. They have a great selection of holiday cards and birthday cards that will make any of your friends smile.
Politically conservative? Perhaps this store isn’t for you, unless you appreciate toilet paper, complete with the face of Palin and Bush printed on the entire roll.
Looking for something weird and outrages? You’ve found your place. They sell lots and lots of odds and ends from the most recent DVDs/​CDs to «Make it grow in water Buddha’s.» Just an overall feel-​good, neat store.

This store displayed toilet tissue rolls with the image of President George W Bush printed on each panel. Now that the United States government, during the terms of Obama, Reid, and Pelosi, has promulgated a health care law that resulted in our losing our private health insurance will Two Neat sell toilet paper with Obama, Reid, and Pelosi images on its panels? While I would not wipe with said tissue I do have real-​real good insurance and home mortgages I want to sell to followers of politicians who say «you have to read this [insurance] bill before we pass it!

This place is kind of like a softer version of tuttimelon and wishbone. They’ve got a bunch of different knick knacks that might prove useful for those white elephant parties, or maybe as a funny gift to someone.
They also have cards fro different occasions and a decent amount of CDS and DVDs. Some that you wont find at normally at music shops. They also have clothes… but I didnt really pay much attention to that.
A lot of anti-​bush items which could bring a smile here and there… oh and bacon band-​aids… haha

What a cute, funny little shop. They sell some silly novelty items, like bacon bandaids, but also really funny holiday cards. The prices are not Mill Valley prices — they’re reasonable and the staff are so nice. I will happily go back. They sell music, too!

Bob, the owner, is one of the most lovable characters in Mill Valley. How can you not love these guys with their crazy music, movies, cards, political (unbaised!) cartoon-​age, etc…

This place will fulfill all of your greeting card needs, and then some.
Sappy sentimental sympathy card for friend? check. Slightly racy, just-​for-​giggles birthday mug for favorite sister? check. T shirt featuring serene Mt. Tam for grandma? check.
Totally naked hairy butt action figure poking fun at nuns while espousing communist ideals? check.

I LOVE this store. When I’m in a bad mood I always can count on Two Neat to help me find my giggle again. It’s my go-​to card store, knowing I will always find something for anyone.
And no offense to Ariel, but this is a card store in Mill Valley– of course it’s going to be liberal… where do you think you are? George Bush deserves to have his face on a toilet paper, cause the mans’ an ass.

I wake up wanting to wipe by ass with George Bush. Not just figuratively, but literally. I want to cook my eggs in the morning with a silicone pan holder in the shape of a banana. There’s nothing like getting rid of all my childhood pain with a «spray those childhood traumas away» listerine-​esque mouthspray. Bacon bandaids for those bacon fans, and I know there are many of you out there.
I can buy all of my cards for clients for christmas there, and also get the ones for my father that makes him crack up everyday about how fat Americans have gotten, how this government is crap («is our children learning?», or that we all suffer from CRS (can’t remember shit).
Lana and Bob, the owners, are wonderfully helpful and funny Mill Valley staples who support a different way of thinking and push the borders on humor. It’s a necessity to have people like them purveying «cat butt» stickers or «mullet man» magnets along with beautiful handmade cards these days. It’s just gotten too damn serious.
But literally, I will wipe my beautiful ass with Bush, as Two Neat is where they sell the toilet paper with his ugly mug on it. Sometimes it’s so popular they’re sold out.

Not the biggest card shop around.
Really small for a music and video store.
The selection of T-​shirts is rather limited.
But everything that have in this place is spot on.
Every time I walk in I walk out with something. It may be that Collectors Edition of Bullet I wanted, the Led Zepplin CD that was always missing from my collection, a t-​shirt for my son, or a racy card for my father.
Beware of the democrat slant to the anti-​Bush literature, but even that is funny to a Republican.

I am new to Unilocal.It’s this store, Two Neat — that made me want to join, and write a review. This is the very last of the coolest stores on earth…
Great music, hilarious cards — and the vibe is really something to be
experienced. I bought Bush toilet paper that is the hit gift for all of my friends and family… This store is therapy for me!

Yeah, it’s all been done before, and maybe gimmicky retro novelty shops like this are a bit tired, but let’s face it, it could be worse – it could be one of those awful Thomas Kinkaid galleries.
I stop here for two things – funny holiday cards and tee shirts with those distinctive local attraction designs on them – you know, Muir Woods, Mt. Tamalpais, Point Bonita – by that artist whose name I can never remember. I’m always amazed the place is still open, because they probably don’t sell much of the stuff they display, but the people here are nice and I usually get a chuckle out of something here.