Pizza Pizza

Pizza Pizza is a place that you walk into and think, ‘If these walls could talk…’ The layout is pretty simple and the pizza offering is solid: everything you would expect from a pizza menu. What is cool is that the pizza names are all after Kiwi bands from the late 1990’s/early 2000’s so you will get a bit of a history lesson of that era. The music is pretty good and it’s a easy place to get a bite. What I like best about Pizza Pizza is that it is one of the cheapest places in the CBD to get a drink. Beers are $ 5, wines are $ 6 and a double shot of spirits plus your choice of mixer is a mere $ 6. I reckon it would be a good place for a first date if you are a bit unsure and don’t want to invest a lot of money or time into the date. Plus if the conversation goes a bit spare you can people watch to fill the gap. The menu and the décor could do with an makeover, but considering the hustle and bustle of Queen St it’s sort of nice to still have a hole in the wall where you can get a cheap drink, kiwi music, and OK pizza.

Well what’s to be said for all you can eat pizza and all you can drink alcohol?
1. The stairs are steeper than the slopes of Everest and if you are heeled, beware!
You may die. I have fallen down stairs (not these ones) and prolapsed a disc in my neck, so I know the perils firsthand.
2. The bar area is small, only two people can work in that space at a time; you may also die of thirst from climbing up and down the stairs to smoke, then waiting for your drink to be poured.
There are ways around this of course.
That said, I am not a huge pizza fan and this is some of the best pizza I have had in NZ.
Also, all you can drink…

Pizza Pizza was first suggested as the venue for a mate’s birthday thanks to its ‘all-​you-​can-​eat-​and-​drink-​for-​a-​few-​hours’ deal.
We couldn’t believe the number of people ordering takeaway pizza the night we were there as we would not be coming back for the pizza. That’s not to say it wasn’t an enjoyable night though as it definitely was. About 20 of us were crammed into the small space upstairs, pizzas on heavy rotation and trays of drinks littering the tables.
I was impressed by how the staff handled the rowdiness of our lot, suffice to say they have probably seen it all before. This is about where my memory lost accuracy as that is what free-​for-​all drinking for three hours tends to do.

I lived three minutes from this place for four years, and despite multiple desperate runs up those stairs, I must admit I’ve never really come here just for the pizza. Sure, I’ve had pizza here, but really the reason I go here is: the cheap cocktails. Cocktails is probably the wrong word: maybe more like «mixed drinks». They are the kind of drinks you’d make for yourself during the third hour of a particularly rousing party: good in other words. I also enjoy their tenacity in sticking with all the names for their pizza, suggesting an admirable disdain for the youth market, who surely have very little idea of who Tadpole are.
I’m also pretty sure Pizza Pizza is the only place in Queen Street where you can hang out for hours, taking up one of their few tables, and you won’t have some surly teen snarl at you to leave.

I really like this place, and I’m going to give it a good star rating, which is why I feel comfortable sharing this anecdote:
Last time I was there they had a local beer (possibly even specific to the bar? Can’t remember) on tap. I drank several because it was cheap, and because after the first one I decided it was quite nice. The thing was, there was obviously something wrong with the tap, because instead of pouring my beer from there the dude would go out back into the kitchen, open a bottle (hoping I wouldn’t see or hear), and pour that into my glass. He did this for each one of my drinks. Now let’s be clear, I don’t mind this at all. I just thought it was funny. I mean I love his commitment to maintaining a façade, but why wouldn’t you just admit that the taps weren’t working, and get me to order something else? Odd, by pleasantly so.
Oh, and the pizzas are yum. Try not to die on the historical stairs.

Yes this place is awesome! Had a few private functions here, and always a really good time had by all. It’s the perfect venue to kick start your night out on the town with delicious pizzas, booze and nothing but good kiwi music playing in the background.
The private function option is a good deal at $ 45 per person for alcoholic drinks and pizza for four hours and $ 25 per person for non-​alcoholic drinks and pizza. You need a minimum of 20 people. The cocktails they make are pretty awful and basically they became the punishment for the loser of drinking games, which inevitably eventuate in the last hour of service. For the poor sucker who skulls back a few of these cocktails, he faces the impending danger that is the perilous staircase out of the building. Seriously be careful, the steps are steep and so unnaturally small that it’s almost safer to walk down them sideways. The place itself is small too, but perfect for a group of about 30. Any more than that would be a bit of a squeeze.

I’m sure this place is legendary. It’s one of Auckland’s best little secrets, and lies hidden between the festering brew bars and chain-​store chicken shacks. There are usually a couple of homeless people sitting on the bus stop outside, and occasionally there’ll be a sign outside telling you it’s booked out for the night and you’ll have to go elsewhere to get your nightly pizza and kiwi music fix. When you can get yourself a table however (the reason it’s often full is more down to its woefully small capacity), it’s well worth the chance of dejection.
Themed as a kind of bizarre tribute to some of the misguided cult-​heroes of New Zealand’s musical pantheon, Pizza Pizza Kiwi Music keeps the Aotearoan soundtrack pumping and serves up some of the nicest pizzas in town. The aforementioned pizzas are named after the aforementioned cult-​heroes and so it’s entirely possible to chow down on a «Betchadupa» while knocking back a cold beer ($ 5 Stellas during happy hour!!!) and getting quietly and joyously plastered and looking down on the great unwashed as they dither their nights away, up and down Queen Street.
Great sub-​features of the place:
1. It’s tiny and therefore exclusive and therefore good.
2. The main barman (is he the owner?) has a brilliant moustache and looks suspiciously like he just arrived back from The Gathering c. 1998 (via a time machine (potentially pizza powered)).
3. There is a chicken pizza called «Salmonella Dub». Brilliant.
4. Their awkward to decipher signage means most people develop their own special name for the place. I call it «Pizza Pizza Kiwi Music Pizza Pizza».
5. Their stairwell is ungodly. Incredibly steep and pretty much purpose designed to have people fall down and injure themselves after too many happy hour beers. Genius.